my attempt at a top 40ish ballad...

Hi RLD,

IMHO this song should be slower.
The piano is too mechanical, too much quanisized. At the refrain it remainds me to ABBA.

It's not the sound of your voice, it's the way you sing. Try to put more feeling and soul into your voice. Go off the written notes, don't sing it like a children's song.

Composition is quite good. I like the change for the refrain.

hth.
Melf

Thanks Melf and Mitch...
It doesn't feel rushed to me...but I may be too close...ha ha...

Melf, if I could sing it with more soul, I would have...
I'm more concerned with the composition, which you said you liked...
I can always get someone else to sing it...


RLD

Melf, if I could sing it with more soul, I would have...

Yeah.. thougt about that.
All you can do is listen learn and try. I'm sure, take no. 427 will be great.

You're surely a great guitar player, you know how to record and mix your stuff, and you are also a better vocalist than I am. But the biggest mistake non pro vocalists make (and what I hear so often in this forum), is singing without or with too less passion.

I also listened to your 'Turn and walk away'. It's an angry song how I understood, although the vocals are very good, I'm missing some angryness.

Ok. Enough of being a wiseass (or how you would call it) now.
Greets
Melf

Excellent composition: structure / chord changes.

Thanks Ed...

RLD

Thanks Sfripp...

the composition is great, I didn't get bored and the changes were a sweet lift when they occured!

thats what I'm looking for...

avvie,
I happen to like those big produced ballads from Chicago, so I'm going to have to send you to your room without supper...
now get!...

RLD

Feels a bit rushed, RLD.

Not too sure about the arrangment. I will have to listen to this again, as it just does not really do anything for me right now as I listen to it.

Hornplayer, this is DX1451. I had previously posted a "Saxophones" thread at the beginning of Jan in the Gear forum. I got a response recommending that you be looked up. I picked up this current thread in the Members List area. Hopefully this won't be considered indescreet but under the circumstances thought this would be the most effective way to get in touch. If you would be so kind as to share your experience w/your WX5 wind instrument, I'd be delighted. Perhaps an ongoing discussion of Saxes in general? Thank you and hope to be in touch sooner than later.

I don agree seems just a little fast but still a nice little tune.........Dont forget to rock out on your next tune though....I like your rock n roll tunes :)

But this was a nice track... good job

ORIGINAL: ...but as a songwriter I want to keep pushing myself even if I'm not comfortable with the genre...
I had never written anything like this before...now I have...

Absolutely! I stretch into unknown territory sometimes. I've done orchestral, big band, and rock stuff with vocals. I think the more experience, the better!

P.S. I really enjoy your music as well...

RLD

Thanks!

RLD,

Nice work! While I think it would be fun to hear what Michael would do with it and to hear it at a different tempo, I think what you have going works fine, too. It's in the rock/power-ballad ballpark, if you wanted to add some more guitars under the choruses and get a bit more bombastic with the drums. I guess I'm with Chaz here - you could flesh out the arrangement some more, for what I'm hearing.

I think the initial criticisms just indicate that the piano and perhaps the vocal performance come off a bit stiff. On the piano, it's not so much the quantization as the consistent velocity/dynamic. There's no real "feel" to the part - even though the notes work. And you have a nice voice and range, the performance just seems a little careful and reserved. It doesn't have to be more stylistically soulful (as in R&B), I think we just want to hear you cut loose a bit. Again, more "feel"/intensity/emotion.

I second Charley on enjoying your postings to date.

M

I happen to like those big produced ballads from Chicago,

Flashback to Chicago 17...Your The Inspiration, Hard Habit to Break...that tour was my first concert. Here's a little known fact, In Your The Inspiration, the one measure guitar solo on the record was left out in the CD version. I couldn't believe it. Okay, back to reality...

Nice song RLD. They payoff seems to take just a little long to get to the first time...maybe that's why the tempo is just a tad quick. You could drop a verse in the beginning. The only other thought was that it is a male perspective song (isn't it?) but in today's market, the female singers seem to be more popular with this type of ballad. Of course Clay Aiken could do it.

Your stuff is really good, keep at it-

True I hear the voice wander off-key in a spot or two but generally speaking this sounds great. As a newbie the dynamic I see at work on some of these threads is, "Ask for some criticism and ye shall receive." If this was blowing by on the radio while we were driving down the road we wouldn't hear anything wrong, but if you ask, "What are the flaws in this?" then the person being asked feels a duty to find something.

That's a long way of saying it sounds fine.

Great job RLD.... keep up the good work!

pluto

Hey, thanks everyone...
I've been away from the board for a while so I'm behind on this...
Michael, I would like to take you up on your offer...
when you say send it to me, do you mean an mp3 or a midi file?

Thanks,

RLD

I got your email.

Thanks Michael

RLD