over Fifty club...

......not even a dog biscuit ???

I'm trying to finger out what yer on about Beags.

slartabartfast

Beagle
you guys know what that means...roight???
 
today I had my first Digital Exam...
 
I didn't even get flowers or dinner...

I am so old my doctor still gives me analogue exams.

8-Track or Cassette?
 

When I went for my happy 50th birthday colonoscopy, the anesthesiologist was an a guy I new from the club where I play golf. After he gave me a mild sedative, and they rolled me on my side, he leans down with the gas mask in his hand. Just before he put it over my face he whispered "you know, it's not uncommon to get an erection like this". I said "I don't have an erection" and he smiled and said "I wasn't talking about you" and placed the mask over my face. I thought I had a warped sense of humor.
 
Randy

Well that's just great!  I have on of those scheduled in 2 weeks Randy.  
Since I turned 60 I can't remember how to count to 50 but I do have an 8 track and plenty of cassettes to club. 

ah, you guys are so sympathetic, I can tell! 

I usually ask if they found Patty Hearst or Jimmy Hoffa.  
 
At least you got it done.  Remember to get all of those tests because it's the one that you miss that will be the thing that gets you.  It won't get easier, but you'll know what to expect.  Good boy, Beagle.  

I suppose you could always have some fun with the process and leave a fortune cookie down there for them to find...
 
Now, what do you think should be written on fortune??? 
 
"Be gentle, it's my first time?"

No problem Doc as long as I do not feel both of your hands on my shoulders.....
 
JR

craigb
Just make sure you do NOT ask for a second opinion!  (He'll use two fingers.)
 
Also, you should not be able to feel his hands on your waist during the treatment.
 
HTH.
 
The last time I was there the doctor was shocked when he pulled out a long-stem rose.  "Who did this to you???" he asked.  "I don't know, " I replied, "is there a card?" 

I've been laughing for 10 minutes straight ...make it stop 

Mesh
You guys are scaring me......

Mesh - when you get close to being 50 years old, make sure and take a look at your doctor's fingers.  if he has very long fingers, make sure and start looking for another doctor before your birthday... 

Mesh

Beagle

Mesh
You guys are scaring me......

Mesh - when you get close to being 50 years old, make sure and take a look at your doctor's fingers.  if he has very long fingers, make sure and start looking for another doctor before your birthday... 

I'm thinking its just better (safer) to skip this whole "fingering" process altogether and simply live with the consequences (unviolated).

or just see it as being inevitable and remember to bring your smokes for after...

I've had rotten guts my whole life. In my mid twenties I'd had enough with the constant pain and... uh... well other icky stuff. So I went to get checked out. They were going in from both sides and I was obviously concerned about my virtue as seems to be the worry here. The drugs they supposedly gave me had absolutely zero effect (they said I would need to wait a half hour or so after and then have a friend pick me up because I'd be so out of it). I was as sober as... well a totally sober guy. They did the "bad" scope first which was certainly not pleasant but not as big a deal as I thought it was going to be. I thought the worst was over. Then came the gastroscope. That was HORRENDOUS. They just rammed that mofo right down my gullet, choking and sputtering be damned. Hard to believe but that was a hundred times more violating than the "bad touch" exam.
 
The "prep" for those tests was however the worst part of the whole experience. The word "raw" took on a whole new meaning after the cleanse.
 
I swear though... I think they must have given me a placebo or something instead of the sedative just to mess with me. Probably thought I was a drug seeker or something. Yeah, I'm such a hardcore buzz chaser that I'm willing to get treated like the focal point of a Nine Inch Nails video just to get a fix.
 
Point is... the ole finger thing will probably be much less traumatic than you think and it really could save your life and/or manhood. I know an old guy who got prostate cancer (probably from being too proud to get checked out) and... well now he can't do that manly thing us manly men like to do. Still saved his life though and he might make it to 90 the way things are goin'.
 
Good health to you, Beags.
 
Oh... and it turned out that I was okay. Just too much damned stress and a bad diet. Still got shoddy plumbing but I can manage it.

Beepster
I've had rotten guts my whole life. In my mid twenties I'd had enough with the constant pain and... uh... well other icky stuff. So I went to get checked out. They were going in from both sides and I was obviously concerned about my virtue as seems to be the worry here. The drugs they supposedly gave me had absolutely zero effect (they said I would need to wait a half hour or so after and then have a friend pick me up because I'd be so out of it). I was as sober as... well a totally sober guy. They did the "bad" scope first which was certainly not pleasant but not as big a deal as I thought it was going to be. I thought the worst was over. Then came the gastroscope. That was HORRENDOUS. They just rammed that mofo right down my gullet, choking and sputtering be damned. Hard to believe but that was a hundred times more violating than the "bad touch" exam.
 
The "prep" for those tests was however the worst part of the whole experience. The word "raw" took on a whole new meaning after the cleanse.
 
I swear though... I think they must have given me a placebo or something instead of the sedative just to mess with me. Probably thought I was a drug seeker or something. Yeah, I'm such a hardcore buzz chaser that I'm willing to get treated like the focal point of a Nine Inch Nails video just to get a fix.
 
Point is... the ole finger thing will probably be much less traumatic than you think and it really could save your life and/or manhood. I know an old guy who got prostate cancer (probably from being too proud to get checked out) and... well now he can't do that manly thing us manly men like to do. Still saved his life though and he might make it to 90 the way things are goin'.
 
Good health to you, Beags.
 
Oh... and it turned out that I was okay. Just too much damned stress and a bad diet. Still got shoddy plumbing but I can manage it.

thanks beep.  but I've had me one of them colonoscopy's and endoscopy's mee own self.  I just told them to make sure they didn't use the same camera for both ends...