post retired, thanks all!

Decided to keep this up.  Needs some work.  No timing device was used in this.  Rhythm guitar was recorded first while tapping my foot to keep a beat while i was playing.  Then i played drums to the rhythm guitar, then put everything else in.  All comments appreciated. 
 
Written, recorded & mixed by me and all instruments & vocals by me.
 
It's called Unknown Mode: 
 
 
edit - song retired, thanks all!

Tap, thx for commenting.  I recorded this song with no metronome, no timing device at all.  All free hand, that's why the timing is a bit off in some spots.  First i played the rhythm guitar tracks (tapping my foot to keep a beat), then physically played drums to the rhythm guitar, then added bass, more guitars, and vocals.  Was just concentrating on a catchy hook and experimenting without a timing device.  Wasn't easy.  You make some good points.  Thx for listening. 

savageopera


Mr. Pluto, a simple catchy and repetitive chord progression is the foundation for unknown numbers of pop tunes, and that is what you have here. However, I think if you rerecorded this with a solid rhythm track the effect on your listener would be much improved, and easier to follow.  Your voice and pitch are there, although the effects tend to muddy up a bit of what i was trying to hear. Drum performance seems to be solid but the drum  mix seems a little vague.  I think you have a good rough draft on this tune so don't give up on it.  I'm waiting to hear the final arrangement.  Good work ...........Ron 

Hi, savageopera!
 
Yeah, i never really finished this one.  The vision i had was handclapps in the verses, then switch to drums for the choruses, then drums in the second (faster) half, of the song.  You hit it right on the button, simple with a hook is what i had in mind for this one.  I agree also that the song would drive better with a more solid rhythm track.  I do plan on maybe having two versions, solid rhythm w/drums in the verses, and one with just the handclapps in the verses.  Thanks much for listening and commenting.  I'm glad you liked it! 

I have visited given link and I found very nice composition here.The music of this track is really very nice .I like this music very much.I would like to appreciate this work.

Janet


Great transition to the faster part!  Good song.

Hi, Janet, glad you liked it! 

twisted6s


This is one of those songs that is great for just being raw and uncomprimising in it's delivery

Hi twisted!...  yes raw and uncompromising it is.  Thanks for the good word. 

Slow Marching Band


Really love the bass line on this. That change up was a nice touch too! The bass and the verbed vox gives me that Moody Blues vibe for sure, and that's a compliment. Very enjoyable.

Larry

Larry...  glad you liked it!  Moody Blues vibe?  I'll take it, thanks, man!   

OK second things first.... I'm in the faster part right now..... the ohhh ohhhh vocal part reminds me a bit of some of the Moody Blues things ..... cool stuff...

Now.... you have the beginnings to a pretty decent song here.... call it a rough draft for lack of a better term.

Now, set down, and put it together, rewrite some of the lyrics, add verses to it, arrange the music, and this  can be a pretty good song....IMHO.  In post #5 you said you never finished this one..... so get busy and finish it, you have a good song idea here.

When I start writing, I hold nothing sacred. Everything is subject to change..... key, tempo, title, hook, any and all the lyrics, melody..... nothing is set in stone until I get further along.  Some of my first drafts are nothing like the finished tune.  I have even come to the place where I can envision going in two different directions and ending up with 2 songs...from the same starting point. Although, the effort that goes into one song, usually I don't feel like working the second one out.  I have scrapped entire verses and choruses if I feel they don't cut it....and I hit delete with no regrets and start writing again....and usually the second, third, or the eighth attempt is the golden one... a keeper.  sometimes all it takes is adding one word, and other times, scrapping the whole thing and starting again..... either way....

 ....so......work on this.

Guitarhacker


OK second things first.... I'm in the faster part right now..... the ohhh ohhhh vocal part reminds me a bit of some of the Moody Blues things ..... cool stuff...

Guitarhacker...  thx man.  You have a lot of good points.  I do plan on revisiting this someday or maybe even redoing the whole song.  And yes, the seeds are planted, just have to bring 'em to fruition.  Thx for listening! 

This sounds great!!

The Change around 1:40 took me by surprise.

Excellent!!!

Bobby

A little more pop than the usual Pluto track.  I like the two sections together.  They work well.

I was ready for some full-on drums by the time the new section arrived at about 1:30.  But, they followed, soon after.  Aaah.

Is this picking up speed as it goes?  Sounds like it.

Hi Pluto...not playing to a metronome/drum track? Good for you!

I like the song but would like to hear the drums a little more.

Very nice!!

evadianepug


This is really good. 

Thx, evadianepug! 

Post retired.  Thanks for all the kind words and helpful advice everyone.  Much appreciated.