"Bathsalt Jesus" *update: remix 8-26-13

 TONS of gratitude to all for help on mix!!! :) really helped big time ! 
 
"Bathsalt Jesus" *update: remix 8-26-13
 
brighter
http://www.mediumrangeint...salt_Jesus_master9.mp3
 
warmer
http://www.mediumrangeint...alt_Jesus_master10.mp3
 
i'm liking the warmer one #10 i think
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>>old mix
middle of mixing it.... any feedback on levels/mix greatly appreciated :)  -Daren T
 
http://www.mediumrangeint...altJesus_08162013M.mp3
 
 old mix <<
 
Bathsalt Jesus
Words & Music by Daren Thomas Turner © 2013 MRI
Closer is the last wave and far away from here
Halloween costumed and dead tsunamical
A twilight of your idols; a midnight of your sun
Insufferable as the company of one
 
Seriously are you kidding me? 
Starring in your own no one show
Instagrammed like a jellyfish hash-tagged with #noSpine
 
Colder than a dark star and frozen into space
All your motivation an accoutrement at best
Bedizen me with Snooki like lobster in a sauce
Alive when you kill it off the planet earth
 
At minute number seventeen
I stopped my own cold heart
I closed my eyes and walked out of the summertime
 
Over, like these movie credits shot out into space
All the extras' names are written on your face
All the characters you always got to play 
Perished deus ex machina {botox hurricane} 
 
I was born to die just to save the human race
I was born to die just so you could eat my face
 
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Daren Thomas Turner: guitars, vocals
George Matthews: drums
Alan Cruz: bass

I like the 5/4-measure a lot, I myself am tring to write a 6/4-measure currently...it is tough to write it so it flows and not sounds "mathematically" or artificial. Well done! Cool song. The vocals are very good, a lot of effects and doubling going on, right? I agree with Tanton that the kick could be louder, the vocals are great as they are to me!

Hi Daren, I'm usually not a fan of loud music, but this has a very nice groove to it. Also, who doesn't like a tune in DADGAD ? ; )   As Frank has already noticed, the cymbal sticks out a bit. I don't have good speakers , but to me the bass was a bit to loud.
 
Rik

lol on mobile ^ forgive spelling ;0

This is really cool. I like the riff and it flows really nice. I can't add anymore suggestions. Well done!
 
@Speedtom, If you try and make something fit into a time signature it will sound that way. the best way is to come up with the riff and see what time signature it's in. I came up with an into to one of my songs and low and behold, the time signature for it was 11/8. The change from that to 4/4 was seamless as well. Go for feel and worry about time later.

Other than the VOX coming up more in the mix with less verb, I think the mix is coming along well, nice track sir!

Guitarpima
 
 
@Speedtom, If you try and make something fit into a time signature it will sound that way. the best way is to come up with the riff and see what time signature it's in. I came up with an into to one of my songs and low and behold, the time signature for it was 11/8. The change from that to 4/4 was seamless as well. Go for feel and worry about time later.

You are absolutely right! I'm in the middle of the writing process, time will tell if it will flow in the end (like this song does) or not!

Daren, once again I listen and I go, "WHAT"?   LOL!  So interesting on many levels.  I personally would cut the very last line.  Just doesn't seem necessary.  However, I'm an old fashioned guy.  I love the music.  I am confused by the lyrics but I like them too!  You are a very interesting writer and player.  As I've told you before, if the lyrics weren't written there I wouldn't have understood half of them.  I do know that that is prevalent in much of that genre, I THINK!  I look forward to seeing what you do next.  I think this could be one of my favorites that you've done.

Really nice.  Not sure what the lyrics mean, but you have no problem singing the meaning, if you get my meaning ....
 
Love it.  Nice, hard rocker.  I enjoyed the ride so much I didn't really take notes or take the song apart.  I find it funny most responses deal w/ turning up the bits the responders play.  That must mean you are hitting a pretty sweet spot mix wise.  The chorus bit is nice - if you could reintroduce that at the end it would be quite a kicker, but if you are on to mixing already.
 
Anyway, enjoyed it immensely.  Great song, great performance and you are there with the mix.  I applaude you if you want to spend just a little more time on the mix to get it perfect.
 
@

(lyrics)
Bathsalt Jesus
Words & Music by Daren Thomas Turner © 2013 / MRI
Closer is the last wave and far away from here
Halloween costumed and dead tsunamical
A twilight of your idols; a midnight of your sun
Insufferable as the company of one
 
Seriously are you kidding me? 
Starring in your own no one show
Instagrammed like a jellyfish hash-tagged with #noSpine
 
Colder than a dark star and frozen into space
All your motivation an accoutrement at best
Bedizen me with Snooki like lobster in a sauce
Alive when you kill it off the planet earth
 
At minute number seventeen
I stopped my own cold heart
I closed my eyes and walked out of the summertime
 
Over, like these movie credits shot out into space
All the extras' names are written on your face
All the characters you always got to play 
(They perished deus ex machina: in a botox hurricane)
 
I was born to die just to save the human race
I was born to die just so you could eat my face
 
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Daren Thomas Turner: guitars, vocals
George Matthews: drums
Alan Cruz: bass
 
Produced by Danarchy and Daren Thomas Turner