Jesse Screed
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velva and jesse
Hello, this is rendition 2 of Sometimes, with velva http://www.soundclick.com...ngid=13613746&q=hi I took to heart all the previous comment, and have tried to interpret the into this mix. Please let me know how the mix is. I am deaf in my right ear, so I wanted to post a mono mix, because it sounded so cool. Also, velva told me that the only way she would work with me is if she could sing my songs the way she wanted too. After many listens I have come to love her phrasing, and now I say, woman, you sing how ever you feel. I have to tell you though, I like to have everything right up front, like into your grill, so hopefully this is that. Maybe to much reverb. what say you Peace
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kevinwal
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Re: velva and jesse
2017/08/13 02:02:34
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☄ Helpfulby Jesse Screed 2017/08/13 23:00:32
Yeah, the woman should be able to sing any way she wants with a voice like that, really nice tone and phrasing. She's got some skill. I like the instrumentation, drums are nice and expressive and I love the ending. All in all a very strong tune, Jesse!
I don't hear too much reverb in the vocal part at least. I know you like the vocals right up front, but I would personally drop the vocals back a bit to allow them to become more a part of the overall harmony. Other than that, I really like what you've done here.
This is a really strong showing, nice work.
Kevin Walsh My latest tunes are at Reverbnation, please give a listen! EVGA X58 Classified III, 24GB Kingston RAM, i7/970 6 core256GB SSD, 2TB HDWindows 10 Build 10586, Sonar Platinum, 2016.03MOTU 8Pre Interface
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Jesse Screed
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Re: velva and jesse
2017/08/13 13:19:40
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kevinwal
I don't hear too much reverb in the vocal part at least. I know you like the vocals right up front, but I would personally drop the vocals back a bit to allow them to become more a part of the overall harmony. Other than that, I really like what you've done here.
Hello KW, thanks for the critique. I probably did push her vocals a little to much, but she sounds so fine that I just can't help myself. I will take your comments to heart. I will probably put this through a few more mixes, just to tweak some stuff. I am hoping more people chime in with critiques to help make the song better; two heads are better than one. Besides, this is not my typical fare, I will really spend more time with this than I usually do, because I do believe it is very good, but of course, could be better. Thanks Jesse Q Screed
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kevinwal
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Re: velva and jesse
2017/08/13 13:53:58
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☄ Helpfulby Jesse Screed 2017/08/13 23:00:41
Jesse Screed
kevinwal
I don't hear too much reverb in the vocal part at least. I know you like the vocals right up front, but I would personally drop the vocals back a bit to allow them to become more a part of the overall harmony. Other than that, I really like what you've done here.
Hello KW, thanks for the critique. I probably did push her vocals a little to much, but she sounds so fine that I just can't help myself. I will take your comments to heart.
I will probably put this through a few more mixes, just to tweak some stuff. I am hoping more people chime in with critiques to help make the song better; two heads are better than one. Besides, this is not my typical fare, I will really spend more time with this than I usually do, because I do believe it is very good, but of course, could be better.
Thanks
Jesse Q Screed
When you have such a good vocal track it's tempting to let it just carry the day. A great performance absolves a great many sins, for sure. It's easy to forget that the vocal lines are also a part of the overall harmony of the song and you lose something when they bury everything else. It's a tradeoff like every damned thing else in life. Yes, I think it's very good!
Kevin Walsh My latest tunes are at Reverbnation, please give a listen! EVGA X58 Classified III, 24GB Kingston RAM, i7/970 6 core256GB SSD, 2TB HDWindows 10 Build 10586, Sonar Platinum, 2016.03MOTU 8Pre Interface
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Beagle
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Re: velva and jesse
2017/08/13 22:20:40
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☄ Helpfulby Jesse Screed 2017/08/13 23:01:18
Jesse - this is great! the vocalist is really good!
the drums sound a little muddy to me and I'd try to bring them some more clarity and definition. bring that kick out - it's pretty dull sounding. snare isn't bad, toms are muddy and a little dull.
strings sound really good, you've got plucking, tremolo, legato, really good.
rhodes...man you've got a lot of stuff in here!
that string swell and decrescendo at the end sounds a little "forced" to me. I'd back it down some and let it breathe a little more and not be so much "in your face" at the end.
just my suggestions. use 'em or dump em!
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Jesse Screed
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Re: velva and jesse
2017/08/14 00:16:59
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beagle, I replied to your post, in depth, but it did not take, weird forum software you know what I mean.
everything you say is true, thank you, I will follow your advice.
JQS
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kennywtelejazz
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Re: velva and jesse
2017/08/15 10:38:05
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OK Jesse , She is good as a singer , but she also needs to learn how to serve the song  She did a nice 2 verses but her first half of the chorus? was very weak . Also she gets very pitch'y on most of the last held notes of a phrase ... She is only on about 65 % of the time in the song IMHO ...whether she thinks it or not She Can Do Better Now if you decide that she gets to run the show fine ... I suspect she may not even be aware of most of what I have just mentioned If this is what you have to work with you still have a lot ...I feel Kevin is right ..she is way to loud for the track. You need to reel her in for the songs mix to sound good . You have nice musical parts taking place through out the song , I feel some of them can be mixed and highlighted and accentuated more ...It would tighten up the arrangement of the song and make it more cohesive ... BTW, After your held synth notes at the very end of the song you left an extra min of blank space ... anyway I'm not looking to be critical here it may sound that way to you but I'm not ... I have a long standing rule that if anything annoys me for any reason in any song that I do it needs to be addressed before the song moves on ...every so often something may slip through and I may not catch it ... A big reason why I use a SoundCloud paid acct ...to put up a new mix and not loose the links and listens ... For the record I do think your song is pretty nice . I prefer this to a lot of your other music ... I hope this singer will bend a little bit for you ...You 2 do sound very good together...it may just be growing pains all the best, Kenny
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Jesse Screed
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Re: velva and jesse
2017/08/15 11:01:40
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kennywtelejazz
OK Jesse , She is good as a singer , but she also needs to learn how to serve the song
She did a nice 2 verses but her first half of the chorus? was very weak .
Also she gets very pitch'y on most of the last held notes of a phrase ...
She is only on about 65 % of the time in the song IMHO ...whether she thinks it or not She Can Do Better
Now if you decide that she gets to run the show fine ...
I suspect she may not even be aware of most of what I have just mentioned
all the best,
Kenny
Hey Kenny, I will share your comments with her. Maybe that will set her straight. I have not asked her what she is aware of because I have not spoken to her since the recording. Jesse Q. Screed
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kennywtelejazz
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Re: velva and jesse
2017/08/15 11:18:34
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Wookiee
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Re: velva and jesse
2017/08/15 13:05:22
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Had a read whilst listening to this Jesse, good song and she has a nice voice, lots of sound advice on the mix given above so I will not reiterate it as I am hearing the same. Will keep the furry ears out for the the remix, thanks for sharing.
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Starise
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Re: velva and jesse
2017/08/15 16:55:01
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I like this one. Well done. I believe it could use l little more space. Not rich reverb, maybe a short plate in addition to the verb. It's how I like to work sometimes and I understand it might not fly for you.
The vocal might be slightly too up front.Not much.
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bjornpdx
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Re: velva and jesse
2017/08/16 04:08:56
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Jesse
The vocal and accompaniment parts seemed to balance well to my ears. Nice melody too. Velva has a unique voice which is quite pleasing but it seemed like inflections were off here and there. Probably a style thing I suppose.
Something going on with the drums (?) around 1:10. Little distracting but no biggie.
All in all I enjoyed the listen.
I've listened to a couple of your songs in the past but didn't comment on them because I don't get what it is you're doing. Gonna try to have an open mind though. So I'll just pop down to the next page and listen to that Born with a Gun in My Hand song...
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Jesse Screed
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Re: velva and jesse
2017/08/17 23:05:22
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kennywtelejazz
OK Jesse , She is good as a singer , but she also needs to learn how to serve the song
She did a nice 2 verses but her first half of the chorus? was very weak .
Also she gets very pitch'y on most of the last held notes of a phrase ...
She is only on about 65 % of the time in the song IMHO ...whether she thinks it or not She Can Do Better
Now if you decide that she gets to run the show fine ...
I suspect she may not even be aware of most of what I have just mentioned
If this is what you have to work with you still have a lot ...I feel Kevin is right ..she is way to loud for the track.
You need to reel her in for the songs mix to sound good .
You have nice musical parts taking place through out the song , I feel some of them can be mixed and highlighted and accentuated more ...It would tighten up the arrangement of the song and make it more cohesive ...
BTW, After your held synth notes at the very end of the song you left an extra min of blank space ...
anyway I'm not looking to be critical here it may sound that way to you but I'm not ...
I have a long standing rule that if anything annoys me for any reason in any song that I do it needs to be addressed before the song moves on ...every so often something may slip through and I may not catch it ...
A big reason why I use a SoundCloud paid acct ...to put up a new mix and not loose the links and listens ...
For the record I do think your song is pretty nice . I prefer this to a lot of your other music ...
I hope this singer will bend a little bit for you ...You 2 do sound very good together...it may just be growing pains
all the best,
Kenny
Kenny I showed Velva your comments, At first she was like "what, 65% is a D!" But when I showed her some of your other posts, she was like "OK, I get it." She said you sound like a boy who needs a real big hug, a hot muffin, some breathing exercises, and time out. Velva did say your puppy was adorable. then we laughed and started singing. she'll probably never record with me again. JQS
post edited by Jesse Screed - 2017/08/17 23:29:31
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kevinwal
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Re: velva and jesse
2017/08/18 16:02:21
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That's a shame, you two sound great together. Kenny's comments were quite constructive and on point. He heard things I certainly didn't and during a subsequent listen they popped out immediately once Kenny made me aware of them. I agree with him that additional work can make this really something special. Maybe after some reflection she'll reconsider.
Kevin Walsh My latest tunes are at Reverbnation, please give a listen! EVGA X58 Classified III, 24GB Kingston RAM, i7/970 6 core256GB SSD, 2TB HDWindows 10 Build 10586, Sonar Platinum, 2016.03MOTU 8Pre Interface
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