bapu
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 10:19:42
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SteveStrummerUK
Has anybody said 'arse' yet today?
No, mebee you could? (after you finnish your feckin' geetar tracks  )
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craigb
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 10:20:37
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bapu
craigb
bapu
The forum software sux.
The fred has 3297 posts but the main page say 3295. Whaaaaaa?
There were two that actually had content and had to be removed.
HTH.
I can't be arsed to find them.
Were they the monkey arse?
If I were to venture a guess, I'd say a couple of Strummy's jokes - lol!
Time for all of you to head over to Beyond My DAW!
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 10:22:31
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Apparently, when Gary Lineker says "Krakov" and the screen cuts to Gabbi Logan, this is NOT an instruction....
And it'll be a long time before I'm allowed in Dixons again.
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 10:27:28
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I've just been fired from my window cleaning job....
I lost my rag.
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 10:28:02
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A mate of mine said "I'm going to draw what's essentially a transparent cross section of a building from above". "That sounds like a plan" I said.
post edited by SteveStrummerUK - 2012/06/14 10:29:34
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daryl1968
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 10:28:36
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SteveStrummerUK
Apparently, when Gary Lineker says "Krakov" and the screen cuts to Gabbi Logan, this is NOT an instruction....
And it'll be a long time before I'm allowed in Dixons again.
funny but limited appeal. Do you know any jokes about brummies that only you and me would get?
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 10:30:32
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daryl1968
SteveStrummerUK
Apparently, when Gary Lineker says "Krakov" and the screen cuts to Gabbi Logan, this is NOT an instruction....
And it'll be a long time before I'm allowed in Dixons again.
funny but limited appeal. Do you know any jokes about brummies that only you and me would get?
All of them! I lived in Selly Park for 8 months 
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daryl1968
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 10:32:27
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SteveStrummerUK
daryl1968
SteveStrummerUK
Apparently, when Gary Lineker says "Krakov" and the screen cuts to Gabbi Logan, this is NOT an instruction....
And it'll be a long time before I'm allowed in Dixons again.
funny but limited appeal. Do you know any jokes about brummies that only you and me would get?
All of them!
I lived in Selly Park for 8 months
commiserations mate
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craigb
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 10:33:03
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Just the fact that you have a street named...  ...is humor enough for me! Hehe...
Time for all of you to head over to Beyond My DAW!
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 10:34:20
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Probably the single, and most frustrating thing about social media websites like Twitter, is the fact that you only get 140 characters to us  You counted 'em, didn't you 
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daryl1968
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 10:35:38
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craigb
Just the fact that you have a street named...
...is humor enough for me!
Hehe...
Strummy and I live/lived near places called 'Lickey End', Upper Piddle and Lower Piddle
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 10:36:55
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And the wonderfully named 'Bell End'
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 10:38:50
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For Daryl's eyes only A Brummie goes to Ground Zero in New York one year after 9/11. Whilst there, he sees a fireman paying his respects. The Brummie says to him, "There were a lot of people that were very proud of what you guys did." "Thanks, buddy," the fireman replies. "You lot were bloody brave," the Brummie says. "Thanks. Where are you from anyhow?" the fireman asks. "Birmingham," he replies. "Birmingham? What state's that in?" asks the fireman. The Brummie looks around and replies, "About the same feckin' state as this really..."
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 10:40:51
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Spaghetti Junction has celebrated its 40th birthday. It's been named as Britain's favourite road interchange...
It's easy to see why, it gives you so many ways of avoiding Birmingham.
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bapu
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 10:43:15
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See this is what truely makes this FSF, Thee FSF (minus the two that had to be deleted).
post edited by bapu - 2012/06/14 10:47:01
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daryl1968
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 10:44:05
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SteveStrummerUK
For Daryl's eyes only
A Brummie goes to Ground Zero in New York one year after 9/11. Whilst there, he sees a fireman paying his respects. The Brummie says to him, "There were a lot of people that were very proud of what you guys did."
"Thanks, buddy," the fireman replies.
"You lot were bloody brave," the Brummie says.
"Thanks. Where are you from anyhow?" the fireman asks.
"Birmingham," he replies.
"Birmingham? What state's that in?" asks the fireman.
The Brummie looks around and replies, "About the same feckin' state as this really..."
:) I worked in New Oscott which is right on the outskirts of the Black Country/Wolverhampton. It's like a totally different language - loads of yams and babs. Great sense of humour around there though.
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 10:51:42
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I was on the train earlier when I accidently walked in on a girl using the bathroom.
I quickly apologised and closed the door.
"Can you get the feck out?" She said.
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 10:57:42
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Lance Armstrong has denied ever using drugs...
....but he has admitted pedalling.
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Beagle
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 11:01:46
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bapu
daryl1968
bapu
The forum software sux.
The fred has 3297 posts but the main page say 3295. Whaaaaaa?
it's a conspiracy
Then I'll need some Immodium AD?
wrong fred. that's the discussion about Mexican water, no?
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 11:38:08
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I'm really lurving Page 111....
Or 'Pagina CXI' as we say in Latin.
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bapu
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 11:38:37
(permalink)
Beagle
bapu
daryl1968
bapu
The forum software sux.
The fred has 3297 posts but the main page say 3295. Whaaaaaa?
it's a conspiracy
Then I'll need some Immodium AD?
wrong fred. that's the discussion about Mexican water, no?
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bapu
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 11:39:38
(permalink)
SteveStrummerUK
I'm really lurving Page 111....
Or 'Pagina CXI' as we say in Latin.
Ya. It's like being number 1 three times in a row, huh?
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 11:45:58
(permalink)
Some Top Tips (courtesy of Viz magazine):
Bearded men can obtain the appearance of an upper class Arctic explorer by simply applying Tippex to their beards, painting their noses blue and cutting off a couple of toes. It never fails to impress the girls.
If a small child is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down its throat and hey presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.
Avoid cutting yourself while clumsily slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
Housewives: When nipping out to the shops, remember to carry a stiff broom in the boot of your car. Use it to sweep the broken glass to the side of the road every time you have a minor accident.
Make bath times as much fun for kiddies as a visit to the seaside by pouring a bucket of sand, a bag of salt and a dog turd into the bath.
Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your own home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of bleach, then urinating into it, before jumping in.
Minor skin grafts can be performed on pigs by covering any cuts and grazes with thin strips of becan.
Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.
Hijackers. Avoid a long stressful siege and the risk of arrest,imprisonment or death by simply making sure you book a flight to your intended destination in the first place.
Olympic athletes. Disguise the fact that you've taken anabolic steroids by running a bit slower.
Sweetcorn fans. Save money on loo paper by simply pouring the stuff straight down the pan.
Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the loo seat by simply pissing in the sink.
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daryl1968
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 11:46:34
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bapu
SteveStrummerUK
I'm really lurving Page 111....
Or 'Pagina CXI' as we say in Latin.
Ya. It's like being number 1 three times in a row, huh?
fnar - Pagina
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 11:48:04
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Boiley eggs cut in half vertically, and with the yolk removed, make ideal miniature porcelain-style urinals for hamsters and guinea pigs.
Public toilet users. When you realise the person in the next cubicle is holding fire until you leave, simply open and close the toilet door without leaving. Their first plop can then be greeted with a huge cheer.
Potatoes wrapped in tin-foil and kept in a cupboard become a welcome consolation if your house burns down.
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 11:49:24
(permalink)
Commuters: Convince passing traffic you were on 'Come Dine With Me' by riding a black cab home and holding up laminated numbers.
MOBILITY SCOOTER DRIVERS. Attach a string of bananas behind your vehicle for that exciting Mario Kart look.
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 11:50:24
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☄ Helpful
Deaf people,wearing oven gloves outdoors is an ideal way to stop strangers from eavesdropping on your conversation.
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daryl1968
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 11:52:12
(permalink)
SteveStrummerUK
Some Top Tips (courtesy of Viz magazine):
Bearded men can obtain the appearance of an upper class Arctic explorer by simply applying Tippex to their beards, painting their noses blue and cutting off a couple of toes. It never fails to impress the girls.
If a small child is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down its throat and hey presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.
Avoid cutting yourself while clumsily slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
Housewives: When nipping out to the shops, remember to carry a stiff broom in the boot of your car. Use it to sweep the broken glass to the side of the road every time you have a minor accident.
Make bath times as much fun for kiddies as a visit to the seaside by pouring a bucket of sand, a bag of salt and a dog turd into the bath.
Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your own home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of bleach, then urinating into it, before jumping in.
Minor skin grafts can be performed on pigs by covering any cuts and grazes with thin strips of becan.
Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.
Hijackers. Avoid a long stressful siege and the risk of arrest,imprisonment or death by simply making sure you book a flight to your intended destination in the first place.
Olympic athletes. Disguise the fact that you've taken anabolic steroids by running a bit slower.
Sweetcorn fans. Save money on loo paper by simply pouring the stuff straight down the pan.
Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the loo seat by simply pissing in the sink.
My favourite ever Viz character was Mickey's Monkey Spunk Moped
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 11:52:38
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Banging two pistachio nutshells together gives the impression that a very small horse is approaching.
Experience the thrills of a skiing holiday without the expense. Simply sellotape two planks of wood to your feet, sit in your freezer for three hours, then run into a tree as fast as you can.
People whose surname is Toblerone should always take along an empty 'Toblerone' chocolate box when attending interviews for office jobs. This would save your potential employer the expense of having to make a name plaque for your desk, and therefore increase your chances of getting the job.
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re:Make no mistake. This is the true CH FSF.
2012/06/14 11:55:06
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A ladder, turned upside-down, can be used for climbing down off things.
Drivers, If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your horn and wave your arms frantically. This should help the car start and send them on their way.
Actors - Improve your chances of being in a Tim Burton film by becoming Helena Bonham-Carter.
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