paulo
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Re:My Back Pages
2012/05/17 17:58:16
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A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks. First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade. Realizing his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything. Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both.. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything.. He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure. He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees.. As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and shovels them into the lions cage because lions eat anything. Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another Lion and says "What's the food like here?" The lions say: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish & Chimps with Mushy Bees".
post edited by paulo - 2012/05/17 18:01:06
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daryl1968
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Re:My Back Pages
2012/05/17 18:02:12
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paulo
Does anyone else think that MM just put all those rubbish jokes up just to try and get to a page that didn't have...........
you know ...........................
a heart shaped monkeys arse on it........
Simian heart shaped arse - brilliant
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re:My Back Pages
2012/05/17 18:10:49
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My doctor doesn't like musicians....
Oh no.
He wouldn't see sick Steve.
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re:My Back Pages
2012/05/17 18:13:48
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I walked into my local florist today. "I'll have the biggest bunch of flowers you have."
"Ooh, who's the lucky lady?" asked the assistant.
"It's my wife", I replied, "she's not feeling well."
"Oh dear. What is it?"
"Hay fever."
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bapu
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Re:My Back Pages
2012/05/17 18:19:56
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MM avoided the theme of page 25 brilliantly.
Well played George (ITYRN)
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re:My Back Pages
2012/05/17 18:20:00
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The husband lay dying. The wife was by his bedside, he said in a tired voice,"there's something I must confess."
"Shhh", said the wife, "there's nothing to confess, everything's all right."
"No" the husband replied "I must die in peace. I had sex with your sister, your best friend, her best friend and your best friends mum!"
"I know," she whispered, "that's why I poisoned you, you bastard."
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bapu
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Re:My Back Pages
2012/05/17 18:22:10
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They're getting better and bettererer Straummy.
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bapu
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Re:My Back Pages
2012/05/17 18:23:57
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paulo
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paulo
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re:My Back Pages
2012/05/17 18:35:05
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What do you call an exploding Monkey?
Baboom!
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daryl1968
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Re:My Back Pages
2012/05/17 20:17:18
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SteveStrummerUK
What do you call an exploding Monkey?
Baboom!
not funny - I like monkeys
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bapu
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Re:My Back Pages
2012/05/17 20:45:34
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Yeah?
Well I like having a fred that goes on and on and on.....
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daryl1968
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Re:My Back Pages
2012/05/17 20:52:18
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bapu
Yeah?
Well I like having a fred that goes on and on and on.....
well you've certainly got one :)
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Old55
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Re:My Back Pages
2012/05/17 21:03:44
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bapu
Yeah?
Well I like having a fred that goes on and on and on.....
So size does matter!
Should auld acquaintance be forgot--hey, who the hell are you guys? X2(X3 pending hardware upgrade), Emulator X2, E-mu 1212M, Virtual String Machine
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daryl1968
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Re:My Back Pages
2012/05/17 21:12:09
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Old55
bapu
Yeah?
Well I like having a fred that goes on and on and on.....
So size does matter!
never mind the quality, feel the width
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Old55
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Re:My Back Pages
2012/05/17 21:15:09
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daryl1968
Old55
bapu
Yeah?
Well I like having a fred that goes on and on and on.....
So size does matter!
never mind the quality, feel the width
Thank you. But no thanks.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot--hey, who the hell are you guys? X2(X3 pending hardware upgrade), Emulator X2, E-mu 1212M, Virtual String Machine
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57Gregy
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Re:My Back Pages
2012/05/18 01:17:53
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Do you know the way to San Jose?
Practice, practice, practice.
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craigb
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Re:My Back Pages
2012/05/18 05:29:36
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daryl1968
bapu
This page is really turning out good. Will it be the best ever or will 25 be the penultimate?
no, the pen ultimate has to be the Mont Blanc
Got one. It's broken inside... *Sigh*
Time for all of you to head over to Beyond My DAW!
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daryl1968
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Re:My Back Pages
2012/05/18 08:04:25
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craigb
daryl1968
bapu
This page is really turning out good. Will it be the best ever or will 25 be the penultimate?
no, the pen ultimate has to be the Mont Blanc
Got one. It's broken inside... *Sigh*
you can still wear it in your top pocket - top pocket bling
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Old55
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Re:My Back Pages
2012/05/18 09:12:38
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Should auld acquaintance be forgot--hey, who the hell are you guys? X2(X3 pending hardware upgrade), Emulator X2, E-mu 1212M, Virtual String Machine
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bapu
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Re:My Back Pages
2012/05/18 10:57:23
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Why is it, every time I post in this fred it goes to the top of the page?
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Old55
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Re:My Back Pages
2012/05/18 11:11:43
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bapu
Why is it, every time I post in this fred it goes to the top of the page?
Our beloved forum software is confused because you keep changing the subject of this fred.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot--hey, who the hell are you guys? X2(X3 pending hardware upgrade), Emulator X2, E-mu 1212M, Virtual String Machine
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bapu
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Re:Mooch wants to know.
2012/05/18 11:13:16
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See?  It's not ALL about me.
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bapu
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Re:Mooch wants to know.
2012/05/18 11:34:16
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Does the guy with the most toys really win?
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Old55
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Re:Mooch wants to know.
2012/05/18 11:35:20
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Are these questions ratorical?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot--hey, who the hell are you guys? X2(X3 pending hardware upgrade), Emulator X2, E-mu 1212M, Virtual String Machine
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bapu
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Re:Mooch wants to know.
2012/05/18 12:31:43
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Are you questioning my motives?
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daryl1968
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Re:Mooch wants to know.
2012/05/18 12:56:40
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☄ Helpful
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daryl1968
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Re:Mooch wants to know.
2012/05/18 12:57:46
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daryl1968
how many posts until 27?
Oh, just the one - Page 27 already. It only seems like yesterday we were loving page 18 - they grow up so quick these threads.
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bapu
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Re:Mooch wants to know.
2012/05/18 12:59:05
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One day my freds will go out and have freds of their own.
Will I have to change their diapers too?
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daryl1968
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Re:Mooch wants to know.
2012/05/18 12:59:52
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bapu
One day my freds will go out and have freds of their own.
Will I have to change their diapers too?
no - leave that to their parent directories
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