You know me mate, life on the razor's edge, ducking and diving, bobbing and weaving...

Bon temps.

:-)

Now I have to learn French to communicate in this fred?

bapu


Now I have to learn French to communicate in this fred?

 
Kein Ed. Es besteht keine Notwendigkeit für Sie, um Französisch zu lernen!
 
 

---

 
 
An elderly British gentleman of 92 arrived in Paris by plane.

At the French immigration desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag.

"You have been to France before, Monsieur?" the Immigration officer asked, sarcastically.

The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously.

"Then you should know well enough to have your passport ready."

The British gentleman says, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible. The British always have to show their passports on arrival in France!"

The elderly gentleman gave the French Immigration Officer a long hard look.

Then he quietly explained:

"Well, the last time I was here, I came ashore on Juno Beach on D-Day in June 1944, and I couldn't find any feckin' Frenchmen to show it to."

Le chortlet!  

bapu

SteveStrummerUK
 
An elderly British gentleman of 92 arrived in Paris by plane.

At the French immigration desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag.

"You have been to France before, Monsieur?" the Immigration officer asked, sarcastically.

The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously.

"Then you should know well enough to have your passport ready."

The British gentleman says, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible. The British always have to show their passports on arrival in France!"

The elderly gentleman gave the French Immigration Officer a long hard look.

Then he quietly explained:

"Well, the last time I was here, I came ashore on Juno Beach on D-Day in June 1944, and I couldn't find any feckin' Frenchmen to show it to."

The French were Toast?

Skoal?  

Daryl likes Surrender Monkeys.

As a young lad, I was bullied into smoking by my French exchange student...



It was Pierre pressure.

 
Ireland Declares War on France

François Hollande, The French President, is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.
 
"Hallo der, Mr. Hollande!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Hollande replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is meself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the five-a-side football team from the pub. Dat makes eleven!"

Hollande paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Begoora!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. "Mr. Hollande, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Paddy?" Hollande asks.

"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

Hollande sighs amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us!" says Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Mr. Hollande, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!"

Hollande was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says Paddy, "I will have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Hollande! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war."

"Really? I am sorry to hear that Paddy," says Hollande. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," says Paddy, "we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness, and decided there is no feckin' way we can feed 200,000 prisoners."
 
 

I DID IT!  I DID IT!!!

I made another reply in this fred.

Old55

craigb


I DID IT!  I DID IT!!!

I made another reply in this fred.

Well done, Craig.  

Thank you, thank you.  I'd like to thank the Academy...

craigb

Thank you, thank you.  I'd like to thank the Police Academy, 2, 3 and 4...

Guttenberg?

Good morning Mr. James

Not recently,  we moved house just befor Xmas and his radios haven't been relocated yet.  Mainly because the space allocated for the new shack has a greenhouse in it...

I also haven't got a studio in the new house yet,  but I have plans...   [Evil laughter] AAAHHH HA HA HA HA HA  [/evil laughter]

Flowers?  Who mentioned flowers?