Re:Bapu's random thoughts for the day....
2016/01/04 15:14:41
It's a bit of a good gnus / bad gnus sort of thing. The Society for the Global Proliferation of Ignorance, Banality, and Otherwise Random Stupidity (SGPIBORS, for short), contacted me. Well, more accurately, someone scribbled on a post it note, which was left on a monitor for a couple of months in an effort to subvert network security policies. The note fell off and was vacuumed up by someone on the cleaning crew. Later that week, the person from the cleaning crew drove past a mall which had a Sbarro restaurant in the food court. At that particular moment, a picky three year old, who was dining at the food court, tossed his pizza crust on the floor because it was icky, where it was kicked around under the table for the next six weeks. Eventually, a 13 year old and her BAE saw the crust and chose to go hang out by the fountain because the food court was just so totally gross. The water from the fountain pooled just long enough to snag some pennies from people with too much loose change, and then flowed into the drain. A labyrinth of pipes carried the water past the treatment facility and dumped it back into a small creek where local inspectors had agreed not to look. One of those inspectors drove a 1997 Honda Civic which had the same radio station bumper sticker as the one on a rusted pickup which was stalled in the right lane of a highway. On the same highway, only 257 miles away and headed in the other direction, a Greyhound bus ambled towards a pointless destination. Momentarily stuck behind the bus, an eight year old boy finally identified and claimed the elusive "Q" from the license plate of the bus, leaping into a temporary, and ultimately futile lead over his big sister in the Alphabet game. She, on the other hand, was more interested in wondering why they had to go on this stupid trip in the first place since their cousins were dorks and there would be nothing to do for the entire visit but babysit her little brother and listen to the old folks talk about their bunions. At that exact moment, only 417 miles away, a trombonist, who played in a light metal band with his buds from the high school drama class, tucked his manbun under his hair net and started his shift at the drive-thru of It Could Be Worse Burgers. It just so happened that a trombone was playing on a jazz radio station that was only a few MHz away from the '80's retro station currently playing on the cheap stereo inside a pizza delivery guy's 1992 Dodge Colt as it sputtered to a stop in front of an apartment building where a 47 year old bicycle messenger pondered a letter from the IRS and wondered for the tenth time why the IRS insisted on using faxes instead of email. At that exact moment, one of the eight remaining working fax machines in the metro area growled to life and received a fax. The message sat for the next month since no one actually considered the possibility that anyone might try to send a fax until it was seen by accident by a disgruntled help desk support engineer who had just be replaced by a potted plant in an executive's wife's favorite nephew's friend's office. The support tech snatched the fax, crumpled it up, and tried, for the 873,926,514th time (unsuccessfully) to toss it into the garbage can in the break room. It was picked up by a member of the cleaning crew who was on their way to steal a new potted plant that had just appeared in a junior executive's office. As it just so happens, this member of the cleaning crew had an old used carry out box from a Sbarro restaurant at a local mall on the floor of his mini-van in the middle row where the kids just make a mess and never bring their stuff inside. One of these kids went to school with another kid whose mom worked in a florist shop where...Well, you get the idea.
Anyway, to make a long story short, I received the message from SGPIBORS that they have determined that they have a solution to prevent certain days from being so very, very lame. The bad gnus is that they said that I've been band from days that end in y. I'm not sure what to do now. I suppose I should probably go to Sbarro's and think about it.