Re: All your TOTP's belong to Craig
2016/11/07 11:35:21
I don't know if anyone else has noticed this and I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but there's a great big ball of fire in the sky. No, really. Fire. Yes, in the sky.
Everyone just keeps scurrying around, pretending that everything is normal, even though there's a big ball of fire just floating in the sky. This time, I know I'm not imagining it. No one wants to admit it, but I know that other people saw it this morning. Thanks to Daylight Savings Time, my normal serene morning commute was blown to smithereens by flaming daylight. With absolutely no ability to defend themselves from the hideous glare, drivers stopped on the Interstate, cried for their mommies, and lost what little intelligence they had left.
Human beings obviously lack the technology or intellect to construct wearable devices that might shield their eyes from this blazing monstrosity. It's time we faced the inevitable. The surface of this planet is incompatible with human life. It's time to go underground, folks. Since human beings cannot possibly deal with this threat, surrender is our best option.
Of course, before you go, please move your car off of the road. I mean, that's just common courtesy. Oh, and don't come out until I call, okay? I'll be sure to let you know when the surface is ready for your return. In the meantime, if you hear something from above that sounds like a minivan pushing 140 mph, just ignore it.
You're welcome.