Do's & Don't s on and off Stage

1. Don't turn your back to the audience
    Do use music stands, mic stands, any stands for protection
2. Stay out of the parking lot during breaks!
    You just don't know who will offer you what
3. Don't smile at women that's there with some guy
    If you do "Stay out of the parking lot during breaks"
4. Buy your beer in advance but Stay out of the parking lot during breaks. Save the beer for later

Anyone wishing to contribute to this list please do. It may help someone avoid TROUBLE 

D'OH !

Make sure it's the right venue and you haven't been double-booked before changing into the Spandex jump suit.

You lose all your negotiating skills wearing Spandex so even if it is the venues fault you will lose out.

1. Don't break a string, then leap off the stage to change it, wearing a purple 3/4 length 19th century frock coat, slip in a puddle of beer and fall flat on your face.

2. Don't chew gum laced with acid tabs, drink Special Brew, run into the dressing room of the headline act and headbutt the reporter interviewing the singer, because he was chatting up the girl you were with, who actually wasn't even your girlfriend, then run out of the venue being chased by 4 bouncers and jump into a dumpster and pull the lid down.

3. Don't play the Witches' Tavern in Didcot, because 'you better be good or you're dead'

4. If a Hell's Angel looks you in the eye and says 'play some Quo', when he's not on the stage, but you are..play some Quo.

Jonbouy

1. Don't break a string, then leap off the stage to change it, wearing a purple 3/4 length 19th century frock coat, slip in a puddle of beer and fall flat on your face.

Who among us here has never done that?

I was hesitant to mention it as I thought it was only me.

jamesg1213


1. Don't break a string, then leap off the stage to change it, wearing a purple 3/4 length 19th century frock coat, slip in a puddle of beer and fall flat on your face.

2. Don't chew gum laced with acid tabs, drink Special Brew, run into the dressing room of the headline act and headbutt the reporter interviewing the singer, because he was chatting up the girl you were with, who actually wasn't even your girlfriend, then run out of the venue being chased by 4 bouncers and jump into a dumpster and pull the lid down.

3. Don't play the Witches' Tavern in Didcot, because 'you better be good or you're dead'

4. If a Hell's Angel looks you in the eye and says 'play some Quo', when he's not on the stage, but you are..play some Quo.

Words of wisdom .....WORDS of WISDOM

If you're a drummer, don't put a gram of blow in your back pocket before sitting down to play the last set. The blow will melt into your ass before the set is over, causing your legs to go numb, which in turn will cause you to fall off of the drum throne and begin to flail around on the stage like a carp on a dock. I've seen this mistake up close and it's not pretty.

Randy

rsp@odyssey.net


If you're a drummer, don't put a gram of blow in your back pocket before sitting down to play the last set. The blow will melt into your ass before the set is over, causing your legs to go numb, which in turn will cause you to fall off of the drum throne and begin to flail around on the stage like a carp on a dock. I've seen this mistake up close and it's not pretty.

Randy

Who among us here has never done that?

Keep your eyes on the gear when packing up. Even if you just have to run back inside to grab your coat because it's 20 below zero outside with a 60 mph wind and the parking lot is icy and the VW bus's doors are frozen shut and you can't find your blowtorch that you always have on hand for such an occasion because you've learned from bitter experience and you think who would take my bag of drum stands at 3 am in this insane weather particularly because they're mostly useless without the rest of the drums?

I suppose the bag could have blown away on the ice.  The parking lot was at the top of a steep hill... which was an adventure for another time.

I did indeed see the suggestion about parking lots, and I will take it under advisement. But somewhere there is a step missing.

1. Stay out of parking lot.
2. ???
3. Load gear.

When the venue is surrounded by a moat of a parking lot, how does one <...>? Particularly when one's blowtorch has gone missing.

"5. Don't take down any chicken wire from anywhere the stage! It's there for a reason;
    to protect the band on the first 2 sets and to protect the audience from the band     after visits to the parking lots after the 3rd set and on!"

I thought the club our band played in the early 70's was the only place that had chicken wire... glad to see protection being offered else where...

Don't accept the pool table as your bed for the night. Negotiate the couch in managers office.

Never make any comments about being tired of playing whipping post in Georgia

@ Randy - THAT could actually explain a thing or two

Personally, I will advice everyone to remember to wear a belt, especially when using wireless microphones and you intend to jump off the stage or get into other shenanigans. Before you know it you're lying flat on your stomach with your pants around your ankles in the middle of the crowd you're supposed to... er, entertain?

Go to the toilet JUST BEFORE each set

Dont be the last on stage strapping on and tuning up. The rest of them usually get their revenge like this .."Ready, Mr Guitar.. Reelin in the Years - ONE TWO THREE FOUR !" You .... "HOLD ON HOLD ON"

Save the real drinking for after the gig

Most times its cooler to stand stock still than move around like an agitated chimp on stage. You can get away with this in stadium rock, on a 15' by 10' pub stage full of cables it just doesn't work and often ends in disaster (I know)

Do not go out in the car park with the woman you smiled at who is there with her guy


EDIT - Some advice I got as a young musician from a world renowned artist which was the best performing advice I have ever recieved -
 
Before you go on stage, ask yourself, are you here to show off? - we all started like that to some degree, or are you here to serve the songs and the music as best as you possibly can? If you choose the latter you will always be appreciated by the audience and feel better yourself as a musician than if you choose the former.


 

when you go to the bathroom between sets, make sure you tripple check your fly before going back to the stage.