this song is just for one metal album i am working on!
i am going to pay for mixing/mastering after i get more demos out for an album. so i don't spend all my time on one track for years! also working on some rock and alternative songs but been to busy with home projects:( thank you guys! best forum ever:)

e.routt@hotmail.com

Lynn

e.routt@hotmail.com
thank you guys for all your help:) now i just need to think about what i need to add next? vocals will be later on after i get a good mic. also i would like to get a solo in there at the long points of the track? or at least some effects of some kind? lol! not sure yet. but i will keep you posted:)

Well, the lyrics certainly fit the music.  As what to add next; think about a chorus, bridge, intro, outro, and arrangement.  Your production skills will improve over time, and you have have some serious death metal chops, but arranging is the name of the game for you, at this point.

arrangement. whats wrong with my arrangement? should i add a break in there some where? thanks for the advice!
 
also i am adding an intro soon! just trying to get some alone time:(

 
when you can jump through the song randomly and it sounds like it's all the same..... yeah, it needs a bit of work on structure and that means choruses and bridges added to the verses.... cool intro and some sort of ending.... all genre specific and compatible of course.
 
 
NOTE:  when you do updates to the mix, please post those updates in the OP (#1)  where they are easy to find. Feel free to leave the originals and other versions there if you wish, for comparison. Or simply replace the original with the updated version. Lots of folks, including me, don't want to take the time to search every post looking for links and wondering then if the link we are listening to is the latest or simply one in a procession of several.  It's OK to have the link in a post as the new version is done.... kinda fits the time line,  but also go back to the OP and drop that link in to it with a quick edit.   Thanks

here is the best version i think i have done update 12/29/13
this is version 4
https://soundcloud.com/eric-routt/bsom-black-sheep-of-mars-demo what do you guys think?

update 12/31/13
this is version 4.5
https://soundcloud.com/eric-routt/bsom-black-sheep-of-mars here is the new update. i hope this is better?

The Bapu
Listened (only) to the mix from today.
 
IMO, drums need to cut through more.
 
Maybe add some high end? Feels too bottom heavy. There's too much hum after the guitars hit their breaks (maybe cymbal tails).
 
Without vocals or some lead instrument it's hard to judge if it's a "song" yet.

i don't know man? it sounds good in my speakers! i am sure i could tweak the sound for days and still be sitting on one track. for now i think its the best i can do until i get a guitar solo, effects, and vocals! thank you for your advice:)

Needs the vox with the music. Not really my style, but it seems like you nailed the music. 
 
I think they should put a mark in our hand? Or on our forehead? That would make it so much easier to conduct commerce, don't you agree? ;-)