Paul,
I know I'm a hobbyist and probably under-qualified to contribute here, but I can't resist.
I use RME's digicheck all the time on the output master bus. It has a 'start' button on it and measures the average loudness (ITU 1770/EBU R128)...
http://www.rme-audio.de/forum/viewtopic.php?id=13925 I measure the main output bus with this. It has targets for 12, 14 and 20 for the K-System.As I mix, I target 0 and balance compression and limiting so that I fall right at 0 with only a touch of limiting (maybe a dB or so).
I have a kid in the house, so I mix with headphones sometimes and with monitors at other times. I always end up checking the mix using ear-buds with my phone and in my car on the highway (monitoring a mix with a good amount of white-noise is recommended by Craig Anderton and others).
I did go through all the work of measuring every single track's average loudness and setting them all to be roughly the same, but this goes wrong when you have one instrument much louder than the others and bleeding into the other mics. Then, when you bring up the clarinet, you are also bringing up the overloud(tm) electric guitar.
So, after going through the effort of setting all the tracks to the same level, I'd have to double back and fix it by ear.
Now, a couple of years down the road, I still sometimes start by measuring loudness and adjusting things. It doesn't hurt as a jumping off place, but after I've mixed 1 or 2 of the songs from the night's concert, I'm usually ignoring those meters.
I do keep an eye on the meter on the main output through the mixing process. I tend to make all the songs around the same volume. (14) except choirs (20). On occasion, I listen to some post from the forum or a link from a friend and switch my meter to 12 as I listen. Once, I forgot to change it back and I was like, What is going on?? as I pushed all my levels through the roof. This is to say, I really never use 12 personally.
The sound coming from the stereo tends to fall at my personal comfort levels. I adjust it around different playback volumes. It's always interesting to hear the volume my wife sets it too when she's talking to my daughter in the backseat. Wow, all I can hear is the snare!! or some other thing.
Songs are pretty short compared to movies. It's relatively easy to just measure the average loudness on the mains and bag it on all the individual tracks. As Jeff points out, average loudness on a tom track is kinda pointless, so then you're looking at the average loudness across all the drums. Me, I tweak the drums a lot. Consider a track that suddenly has a lot of rim work b/c it's a quiet song... how do you want to do that one? Do you want the song to be a dB softer on the CD?
I do find that most of my fine adjustments are in the range of 1dB. Increasing the bass 1dB while maintaining the same average loudness means reducing the level of all other things ever so slightly and the overall impact is pretty dramatic at a healthy volume.
When it comes to setting levels for tracking, I tend to use RME's auto-level feature. This takes the human pretty much out of the equation. It keeps peaks closer to -14 than -20 (and adjusts gain when peaks come within -6). When I manually set gains, I make sure I don't clip, but I don't bother measuring them with the DigiCheck EBU Meters. I could but why bother?
What's the point?
I just wanted to share what I learned experimenting with the K-System. I don't really take it too seriously. I do make a good effort to make good mixes and I did learn a lot measuring average loudness at different points in the chain. In the end, an average loudness meter on the master out does the trick for me. It measures crest factor and average loudness and helps guide my compression and limiting (which I then adjust track levels around as I mix). I kinda think of mixing with the track faders to compression to limiting as bottom up mixing, and using the EBU meter down to limiting down to compression down to faders as top down mixing.
**After thought: I also always have the RME DigiCheck Totalizer on the the master bus. This has a vector scope and spectral analyzer in one window. I use workspaces to make it easy to open both to match the sample-rate of my project.