If they're so bad why would we be nice???   Actually, they're not bad. I can sort of imagine this song as part of a musical. I can see it working in that context better than say... just had my iPod on shuffle and this song came up, if you know what I mean? The delay on the vocals do make them hard to understand. You might want to play around with the settings on the delay to apply a HPF so the delay is only on the higher frequencies - I've found that helps keep the vocals more articulate with heavy delay when you're not applying delay to the low and mid tones.

Your vocals don't sound too bad Shad, they work well within the context of this track anyway.  Your voice sounds a bit gothic, ala Pete Murphey.
 
PS: Check your email.

Quitcher belly-achin' about not being able to sing. :-)

This is quite interesting!  I agree--you may not need to drown your vocals in delay as it makes it all the harder to understand.  Really nice piano work too! 

Shad

Wow

This was a surprise when you threw in the vox. I listened a few times the other day and didn't expect any vox for a while.

You hide the vox well, so no one can complain.

Neat piece!!!!

Ron

James - Attitude eh? I will try. I am wondering if I should try to sound more introspective or more uncaring? Thanks for the compliment on my voice. I do not like it, but I have never heard myself like this before so that will take some getting used to.

I have to agree with Dave that this song deserves a larger context in its current form. It is part of TOMM, so I will include that this as part of the story. I should point out too, that when I first decided to start this song, a showtune was in mind (hence the Gershwin). I actually heard Murray Head (the original Judas in Jesus Christ Superstar and sings the title song) singing this in my mind when I was working it out.

Frank - Thank you . I must admit, I kinda enjoy singing. I pity the world. I had no idea who I would sound like and I find I sound like an odd blend of Peter Murphy (as John pointed out), Greg Lake in the low registers, and Brian Wilson and Steve Miller in the mid.

I need to stop cringing when I hear this, my face and teeth are getting sore.

Shad,

Man, I love this.  Your voice sounds fine.  I know it's just a scratch vocal but my only suggestion is bring it up. You've got nothing to hide there.  But, what really stands out to my ears is the way it flows...it isn't locked in to a click track (I don't think it is, anyway). Very cool.

I have to agree, I think there is a nice surprise waiting.

Thanks again Gary. I am glad its not as bad as i think it is. (I kinda woke up depressed with this this morning... I really do not like the way I sound. I cannot seem to sharpen the tone at all). Gosh, I really enjoy singing, but I sound like poo poo.

There was one moment in the latest takes where I almost sounded like I think I should sound like, but it was only a moment.

Wow--that's really cool how Alan's learned this and sung it like it's his own.  Great job!  

Thanks Janet. :)

Rick - I am actually going to be simplifying this. As it is part of TOMM, it needs to reflect the lonesome and hollow, almost empty feeling that the story is trying to provide. I will be stripping out most of the piano that accompanies the vocals other then the punctuation chords, and enveloping the bells a bit more. Ultimately the only thing driving the melody will be the voices, and the back will be carried by the "strings" and effects.

I am also going to resing some parts to day as they are off key and ugly.

Heh - meaning is of course pretty much based on each persons subjective interpretation of the themes. I can give you the context though, which might help guide listeners.

Originally the lyrics were a concise triad based on the overall theme of a University course I took about the history of religion. It looked at certain events from religious doctrine through a filter that removed "God made me do it" from the equation. It also tried to encourage us to view them from the other point of view (like how did the Philistines view the Canaanites?).

What would we actually think of David if "God did not make him do it"? Moses? Noah? Mohamed? Jesus? John? Paul? Peter is interesting to look at.

So, each verse looked at each of the three major religions in that way. Not flattering, casting a spot light on the hypocrisy of all of it.

It evolved from that into more of a tune inline with the themes that I am exploring in the story "The Old Man's Machine", which is also an introspective look into the nature of religion, told in a fictional adventure.

This song is now part of the story of one of the characters we have already met as it suits his roll perfectly.

I should point out, I did not intend to write something critical of religion. For all I know it was triggered by something subliminal, like something on the TV. I feel no particular angst about religion, though I do have issues with those who wear it like a badge of honor. I do have a pragmatic view of it, and believe religion is something we will eventually outgrow (spirituality and faith being entirely different concepts).

jamesyoyo


I surely don't take this as critical of religion. It is critical of man. There is no issue with religion: we all have a problem with organized religion. And that organized part, whether it be a church, school, government or corporation, all suffer from the same infection: man and his ego.

Philosophy aside: one idea I would take a look into is to take the melody away from being tied to the keyboard line. I realize that for this early stage it is a must, but it might be interesting to take the line and offset it from the vocal melody, either answering it or putting it a measure in front or behind the vocals.

You are bang on the money. Sophie said yesterday, half joking, that I was making her sing a song critical of God. I said it had nothing to do with God, it was about man.

WRT the melody, I am taking the piano part out (except for the lower chord hits and the stand alone instrumental parts, so the melody should stand alone. I hear what you are saying about having a counterpoint, but that is actually beyond my abilities at this point. I could not even come up with a bassline for this. If you have an idea, toss me a sample of what you mean and I will try to do it.

This is coming along very nicely indeed, i'm most impressed by everyone's vocal performance and the music i already liked a lot. 

Shad, i've been meaning to do a cover version for a long time, but never got around to it. i think you're pete Murphy style vocals would be perfect for it.  

foxwolfen


John.... I am hoping you will say you want to do "Strange Kind of love". However, I will try to sing whatever you like. Or another one I wanted to try was A Ha's "October" (from scoundrel days).
 
 
 
No it's none of those im afraid.  I'll record the first few bars of the opening riff ot the track on my guitar and email it to you. I think  you'll guess what it is straight away. 

Thanks Warren. I think Alan brought a unique quality to this song. I have been surprised by the reaction to it. I honestly thought the boys in TDN would hate it (tis pretty far from their style). I let Adrian hear it and he quietly looked at me and said he liked it.

I waiver from loving to hating this song. There are times I go "wow, thats me?" and other times I go "ugh, thats me @#$%!!.

Personally, I like the "art" of this effort. My experience of it, is that it is deceptively restrained in expression, while masking some (could be) intense frustration (idealism vs. reality?).  That part of stayed with me after the listen. There are a couple of background vocal timing stumbles easy enough fix with today's software. The lyric advice was fine tweaking and serves, but I would also suggest that the delivery + mood provides some forgiveness for word choice. Nice work.