Happy Boxing Day!!!!

TMI, Ed.  
 
Happy Boxing Day.  

Old55
TMI, Ed.  
 
Happy Boxing Day.  

Just be glad he said he has his boxers on Jan!
 
For me, today is Recovery Day.  I may not need to eat for the rest of the week.  Ohhhhh.....

SteveStrummerUK
 
Personally speaking, I don't much care for boxer shorts in the undercracker department.
 
Oh no.
 
Plummy and John T much prefer being snugly nestled in a pair of XXL Tesco briefs.
 
 
 
 
MMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmm................... cossetted bollocks
 
 

He says in a squeaky girly voice.

At least you're not a Social Farter Steve.
 
(And I would have expected a person with your sense of history to use a codpiece!)

 
An old married couple are attending church one Sunday morning when half way through the vicar's sermon the wife says to the husband, "I've just let out a long, sweaty, silent fart, what should I do?"
 
"Well for a start" the husband replies, "You should replace the battery in your fecking hearing aid"

When I was a wee boy, my grandfather used to take me up into the loft.
 
He would take down an old trunk from the shelf, and do you know what was inside the trunk?
 
A mermaid....
 
 
 
...on second thoughts, I'd better not tell the rest of this joke..
 
..it would upset Daryl..
 
..and I'd get banned..
 
..forever..

Well, let's just say 'Frankie Boyle, most brutal joke ever'..

Did you laugh and feel ashamed at the same time?

An elderly man finally agreed to be put into a retirement home against his better wishes.  The next morning a good looking female nurse stopped by to see how he's doing and was a bit surprised to see the older man sporting a woody. "Well! Let me just take care of that for you!" she said - and she did!  The man called up his son to say "I've changed my mind!  I think I'm going to like it here!"
 
Later that day as he was walking down the hall, he tripped and fell.  A male attendant was nearby and came over looking like he was going to help him up.  Instead he had his way with the older man first.  The man immediately called up his son and said "Get me out of here as fast as you can!"  "Why's that?" inquired the son, "I thought you said you liked it there."  "Well, " replied the father, "I only get wood once a month, but I fall down at least four or five times a week!"

Morning all

Old55

jamesg1213
Morning all

Good morning, James.  I hope Friday treats you well.  
 
I be going to bed shortly.  Sorry.  

Haven't slept a wink due to the storm raging outside, so got up. Goodnight Jan

Thanks James.  Sorry, you couldn't sleep.  It's not really a storm--it's just Bapu playing his Alembic.  

jamesg1213

Old55
Thanks James.  Sorry, you couldn't sleep.  It's not really a storm--it's just Bapu playing his Alembic.  

Sounds more like Strummy after a bubble 'n squeak vindaloo

Now THERE'S a visual I didn't need!

backwoods

craigb
An elderly man finally agreed to be put into a retirement home against his better wishes.  The next morning a good looking female nurse stopped by to see how he's doing and was a bit surprised to see the older man sporting a woody. "Well! Let me just take care of that for you!" she said - and she did!  The man called up his son to say "I've changed my mind!  I think I'm going to like it here!"
 
Later that day as he was walking down the hall, he tripped and fell.  A male attendant was nearby and came over looking like he was going to help him up.  Instead he had his way with the older man first.  The man immediately called up his son and said "Get me out of here as fast as you can!"  "Why's that?" inquired the son, "I thought you said you liked it there."  "Well, " replied the father, "I only get wood once a month, but I fall down at least four or five times a week!"

It seems that another old man who owned a shop discovered that his pretty assistant had been pocketing money from the till. He gave her two options; 1: Call the police in, 2: Let him have his way with her. Reluctantly, the girl took the second option. So the old man took her into the back room for twenty minutes and tried his hardest but it just wasn't working for him. Finally, frustrated, he said, "it's no good, I'm going to have to call the cops."

When the cops showed up, the girl had them also arrest the old man for...
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Assault with a dead weapon!