Here We Go Again

 No need to respond here lessin' you want too...

  I seem to be caught in a repetitive cycle. I put up with other peoples issues for a long time,then one day Ive finally had enough so I voice my opinion. I hurt feelings, I am "expected" to apologize. Never mind that all this time I have put up with their less than greatness and they never once apologized or felt the need to.

  I have found that as long as I "roll with it" whatever "it" is everything is ok. The minute I try to have the same freedom in what I do or voice an opinion contrary to theirs all hell breaks loose. My life lesson here: The doormat gets the prize.

  No Bapu jokes please :-)>

Bapu walks into a bar,
the barman says..




Oh sorry,  you said no Bapu jokes.

What did I do now?

To be honest for me, I would rather see and respond if needed than see all the negativity towards the BUG comments upstairs.

BBBBBug....

;)

Karyn


Bapu walks into a bar,
the barman says..




Oh sorry,  you said no Bapu jokes.

I'm not sure I get the punchline Karyn.

Karyn

bapu

Karyn


Bapu walks into a bar,
the barman says..




Oh sorry,  you said no Bapu jokes.

I'm not sure I get the punchline Karyn.

I posted it before the embargo on Bapu jokes was lifted, hence the punchline got confiscated at customs assessed with The Bouy Ltd. transaction fees and now no one (not even Bapu) cannot afford to spring it. 

Corrected.

Sorry, don't mean to intrude in this topic, just looking for where I put my coffee down.  Please, carry on.

UbiquitousBubba


Was that yours, Craig?  Sorry.  I'll get you a refill.

It tasted like frustrated tears, wrung from a mime attempting to scream for help as he's choked by a dancing bear wearing a custom made CHB onesie. 

Oh, and there was a bitter aftertaste as well.

craigb

UbiquitousBubba


It tasted like frustrated tears, wrung from a mime attempting to scream for help as he's choked by a dancing bear wearing a custom made CHB onesie. 

Oh, and there was a bitter aftertaste as well.

Hmm... Nope.  Mine was just a tall vanilla latte.  What you described sounds more like a double Am exbapu shot with steamed Mooch and Beagle shavings.  I don't get those anymore.

Understood.

Starise


 No need to respond here lessin' you want too...

I seem to be caught in a repetitive cycle. I put up with other peoples issues for a long time,then one day Ive finally had enough so I voice my opinion. I hurt feelings, I am "expected" to apologize. Never mind that all this time I have put up with their less than greatness and they never once apologized or felt the need to.

I have found that as long as I "roll with it" whatever "it" is everything is ok. The minute I try to have the same freedom in what I do or voice an opinion contrary to theirs all hell breaks loose. My life lesson here: The doormat gets the prize.

No Bapu jokes please :-)>

Star, I feel your pain. Same happens to me. I don't know how to take some of the stuff in this coffee house...I know lots of jokes etc fly around....sometimes I don't know when someone is truly in need of an answer or I post too much stuff taking things too seriously. So for what it's worth, joking or serious, here's my take.
 
If you are a helper in life, this is to be expected. I have done my best to help every friend I have ever had without giving to receive. I just enjoy it and it makes me feel great. "Helping" is a huge word. It can be a matter of "being a listener". But sometimes that gets old too.
 
For example, have you ever had an incredible day...you know, one of those days where you just look up and say "Thank you God" (or insert your choice of who you wanna thank) for all you've given and done for me" and you get a call from a friend you've been friends with for 100 years. He goes on to tell you all this stuff that is happening in his life that he's BEEN telling you for 100 years. It instantly brings you down to where you feel like him, and that rope hanging over your chair in the corner is looking good about now.
 
Then as you listen, you start to get a bit angry because as you listen, you know what he's going to say next. If someone ran a camera on you and filmed this conversation, you could lip sync the entire skit of him talking to you just about word for word. From there you chime in and say:
 
"Dude, I've known you for 100 years. You have been chirping this same song over and over the whole 100 years. Every time you talk to me, it's the same thing. I have told you that I would sit with you and write down all your problems on a piece of paper and we would prioritize. We'd place the smaller problems that we CAN fix immediately at the top of the list. Each time we fix something, we cross it off the list. As the little problems you CAN fix get taken care of, it removes some of your stress so you can work on those bigger things that can take time.
 
Now, that said, I can't help you if you don't want to help yourself. I've loaned you money, I've listened to your problem at all hours of the night, I've been there for you, will continue to be there for you, but this has to stop. Every time you call me and tell me the same stuff over and over again, you put me in a horrible mood. Did you ever think to ask me how my day was? Of course not. Did you know that I was sick last week and had to go to the hospital? Of course you didn't because you only seem to call me and talk about this stuff over and over and over and over again...and to be honest, as much as I love you, I'm really sick of it. You need to do something about this stuff instead of rain on my parade every time you call. My job is not to be your Dr and pull you out of your depression all the time. I've got some things in my life too that are going on. Can't we ever just have a nice conversation that doesn't have to be about how bad your life is to where you have attempted 0 to fix it?"
 
Now keep in mind....it took me 100 years to get to this point. So though that may seem like a harsh thing to say, think of hearing it for 100 years. (ok, not 100, 35...that's still a long time. LOL) With that, I hear "well I'm sorry you feel that way, I'll never call you again" *click*.
 
There are times when someone has asked for my opinion. I ask them before I say a word "are you sure? You may not like what I say." I have NEVER tried to annihilate someone with my opinion, but I WILL tell them exactly what I think in a professional, courteous way. When I do, they get offended. I can go on and on here...but, I think you get the picture. Just know that you aren't alone. All this stuff walks hand in hand when you are "there" for someone. After a while when you keep hearing the same song, it's time to state your feelings. It's either going to give them a wake up call, or they'll find someone else to cry to. That's really not a friendship in my opinion anyway....unless of course, someone is horribly sick, disabled, terminal etc. Totally different ballgame there and in those situations, I would NEVER even think of speaking my mind like the above.

+1 Well said, Danny!

Thanks Ed, Tap, Katie. Katie, you got my reply to your pm, right? I did reply to you the same day you sent it. Thanks for that once again. :)