Indecision

This was really good :-) I have too many comments to add here. I will defer my input, and discuss is later based on what else is said. I will simply say, this is a beautifully conceived and executed piece. Bravo.

That is a pretty good mix Janet. Song is epic and cool; the playing excellent as always. Not terribly fond of the reedy synth you used for the orchestra part. The rest works great.

Hey Janet great job, I really like the piano lines.

Just throwing some ideas out to make it more epic sounding (if thats what you want).   Around the 40 second mark to 50 seconds I would double the quiet bass part with a male "AHH" choir (Baritones) at a PP dynamic then ramp it up a little and start adding a little higher octaves with the bass part.  It would really fill it out.  Make sure to use lots of verb or surround mics if you have them, for the quiet choir part.

Also, some of the violin lines sound like you are just playing the chords on your keyboard, but with a violin sound.  I know your a very good pianist, I think playing each part/line in separately, and adding a little variation or voice leading on the higher notes will go a long way.

Those are thoughts of the top of my head, you can take them or leave them, I really liked the piece.  Great job!

Scottytunes


It sounds indecisive alright. LOL
To be totally honest, I found it to be a little bit on the repetitious side and lacking structure but maybe it's just me. 

That's the root of fleshing things out, but you know how mainstream music is. If one day somebody came up with a through-composed genre-specific tune, not everyone would like or dislike it even, but it will certainly take some getting used to.


If you don't know what that is:


ABACADA - The A section is the only section that is repeating while B, C and D sections are different - completely separate from A. Sonata Form may be the best application. Though it is something separate, most often such a work sees through-composition.


And no, it wasn't just you, I pointed it out earlier. Maybe she's still working on it (hence, the pun)

Hi Janet!

Very nice. I know what you mean about Storm Drum. I thought I would use it a lot more than I have. Nice piece and very experimental. Sounds like you had a lot of fun making this.

Regards,
Dan

Thanks, Shad.  Reedy synth?  Well, that's EWQL, so if you don't like it, it's my fault and not the software.  Thanks for stopping by.  :)

Thanks, Rus!  Hadn't thought about the Lion King for ages.  Maybe you have something there.  :)  Minor cadence?  Is that what that is?  I guess it just sounded cool so I did it. :)  And yes, I 'heard' a more fleshed out version too, but since my arm doesn't like my mouse anymore, I decided to at least finish it somehow and not leave it languishing on my DAW forever.  

Thanks for the great ideas, Mike!  I appreciate that a lot.  :)  

Thanks Scott.  Yeah, you're totally right.  That's another reason I couldn't get into finishing it for months.  :) 

Rus, is ABACADA called the Sonata form?  I've done that a few times but thought it was wrong.  :)  I guess it's wrong for a pop song, but maybe in someone's universe it's cool?  :)  

Thanks Daryl.  Man, that makes me feel totally better!  :) 

Nice job. Some cool piano playing in there. 

There were a few places where I would have deleted some of the tails on the piano runs....it's hard to describe other than to say there are a few places where you should not have played the notes. Or maybe used orchestral hits to accent it..... example: 12 & 18 seconds in on the  "bah da da da" piano part...

Storm drums sounds good, but again, use it judiciously. Further in the song, there are places where it is distracting as the piano is the only thing playing...and the drums are pounding away in the background almost in a military sort of way. In those areas, let the strings and the piano solo if that's what it needs.  In other words.... don't use something just because you have it. 

I agree with  Scotty that it sounds too repetitious and all very similar. You need to do some things in there to break it up, add structure to it and keep it interesting. 

While all that may sound harsh, it's not intended that way. You play well, and I enjoy hearing your work.  
Love the piano. 

Composition, performance and recording are all spectacular, Janet.  

Janet, this has an epic feel to it, and I'm happy to see you stretching out and trying new ideas.  Each song you post shows growth and a different direction from your last piece.  I like the drums and the arrangement.  This may not fit everyone's preconceived ideas, but it works for me.  I also have to commend you for how prolific you are.  Keep playing and writing, and someday the body of your work will be huge, if it's not already.

Really enjoyed the music - it's well put together and the use of stormdrum is effective.

I can hear what someone else mentioned about the synthy strings but with it being EWQL I'm curious as to how you're playing the strings. I read somewhere (and it sounded right so it's how I do it) that you should not play chords on any of the string patches but should instead build it up like a real orchestra - so in the most basic orchestra arrangement you'd have 4 midi tracks (and 4 virtual synth tracks), 2 for violins,  1 for violas, and 1 for cellos and each midi track will not be playing more than 1 note in general, and never more than 2 notes.

But then again, maybe that's how your doing it anyway!

Regardless, great tune and I thought the arrangement ideas suited it too (and I really like the last few piano notes at the end... great way to finish!)

Cheers,
Terry.

Janet

Thanks, Rus!  Hadn't thought about the Lion King for ages.  Maybe you have something there.  :)  Minor cadence?  Is that what that is?  I guess it just sounded cool so I did it. :)  And yes, I 'heard' a more fleshed out version too, but since my arm doesn't like my mouse anymore, I decided to at least finish it somehow and not leave it languishing on my DAW forever.  

Rus, is ABACADA called the Sonata form?  I've done that a few times but thought it was wrong.  :)  I guess it's wrong for a pop song, but maybe in someone's universe it's cool?  :)  

Not in the sense in how the big boys did it back then and now (those who still write them these days - not just play the ones the big boys wrote) It just serves as an example to what through composition is. Now, perhaps your piece could turn into a sonata -- or symphony, but I don't think orchestral timbre was intended here. I was just providing an example on how to tone down the repetition ScottyT pointed out.

There's no need to make that huge of a leap just to avoid it as I said earlier (unless you really wanna write one) the theme is something that sticks with the listener and you indeed had it. In "mainstream" pop (including pop/rock/hiphop/country,etc) standards (jazz), the form is usually AABA (32-bar standards see this form) and ABBA (Spelled like the group). 

A would be the theme, B would be a variation of A (The bridge in ABA and AABA form or the chorus in AB or AABA form whereas the C section definitely no pun intended here) may be the bridge, but that would depend on what B is. (The C section often appears in a pop tune, but can exist in other genres. Modern section labels Verse-Chorus-Bridge (ABC) Verse-Pre-Chorus-Chorus-Bridge (ABCD) the Intro and Outro would get there own section letters if present in a song.

Heck, write a song with sections encompassing the entire alphabet! That would damn sure be a through composition, but it be extremely difficult to follow it. Again, you don't need a ton of sections, if some repeat, just vary them and there are many, many always to implement variation, so it is possible to have two A sections that differ, but only slightly since the A section usually provides the song's theme (and this can be displayed melodic, harmonic and rhythmically).

Take Pachibel's Canon. The term canon itself is "synonymous" with repetition; yet, you can still evoke variations. http://www.youtube.com/wa...MK6heUdRr-E Note, the "ground bass" or "ostinato" pattern being repeated whereas the arpeggios are supplying the variation. Or the standard - "Take Five" (AABB) (this kickass version - listen to the whole thing - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBkH4aydwhY - note, all the variations of the ostinato bassline (especially the bassline) and harmony (the harpist provides) this tune is most famous for!)

Apologies for the bold face. I meant to just bold one word - not a paragraph; therefore, I bolded the entire reply.

Well, that was so nice I gave you 5 stars on your site. It was a little different for you, but I liked it. In fact, I'm going to go back and download it so I can jam along. Thanks for sharing. Loveit. Peace be with you. Blessings, John

I like this better on the second listen. I think it is the riff and the drum beat that make it seem repetitious to me. Maybe some change ups in those would help to keep my interest.

Thank you, Terry.  Glad you liked it.  :)  I'll have to go back and see how I did those strings cause it was so long ago I can't remember.  But I'll have a look.  Thanks again!  

Thanks, Kev! :)

Thanks Rus.  I appreciate it. :)

Thanks John.  Glad you could jam along.  And thanks for the 5 stars too! 

Scott, you listened TWICE?  Thanks!  :)  Yeah, you should have heard the drums BEFORE I edited the last part.  :)  Perhaps I'll go back and do some more cutting.  Thanks for the ideas guys!  

Thanks Gary.  Glad you liked it.  :)  Yeah, I'm taking less time to name things these days (not that I'm writing much anyway, but anyway.  I can't remember why that title popped into my mind, but I figured it worked, so....)  :)  Thanks again.  

And I hope none of you get exasperated at me if I don't change this right away.  I've got another one or two begging to get written now, and as little time as I have at my DAW, I have to be picky....But I'm keeping your ideas in mind!  :)  

Hi Janet! I'm glad to see you are still around.
 
I have nothing to add that hasn't been said. I enjoyed listening.