Just In Time - New original song - REMIXED 6/22

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Lynn
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2012/06/20 18:07:45 (permalink)

Just In Time - New original song - REMIXED 6/22

Hi folks, I've been busy the last two weeks writing and recording this song, and I believe it's time for some constructive criticism.  So far, it's just me, X1, Dimension Pro, Rapture, Superior Drummer, and my Strat and Fender bass.  I still have a lot of questions, and I'm open to suggestions, so take your shots.  Many thanks in advance for taking the time to listen.

6/22: I have remixed this song per many of your suggestions.  I made the drums louder and wider, I cut the el. piano a bit, I added a harmony vocal, and I cut some lyrics and repeated a bridge.  I'm still very open to suggestions, but I think I'm going in the right direction.  Thanks again for all your coproduction.

The new version can be found here: http://www.soundclick.com/player/single_player.cfm?songid=11713725&q=hi&newref=1
post edited by Lynn - 2012/06/22 15:23:40

All the best,
Lynn

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    ABull
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    Re:Just In Time - New original song 2012/06/20 18:22:37 (permalink)
    Hey Lynn,  I like your vocal a lot (good resonant sound) and the guitar lines.  I do think that the drums are about buried - they really need to be punched up.  I like the way the song shifts into the bridge section -- again, though, the drums need to help that transition.  Also, I thought it'd be good to have a second voice - harmony - singing on that section - and at other times during the song.  Unusual structure - it just needs some filling out and punching up :)
     
    Well done.
     
    Allan
     
    #2
    daryl1968
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    Re:Just In Time - New original song 2012/06/20 18:27:44 (permalink)
    Hey Lynn. Solid song and great vocal as usual. As Allan says, could do with re-mixing. I know what it's like when you've been writing/tracking the same song for a while - leave it alone for a week or so and go back with fresh ears.
    #3
    Janet
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    Re:Just In Time - New original song 2012/06/20 18:51:27 (permalink)
    Good song and great vocals!  If I were being real picky, I would say I'm not real fond of the synth on the right.  It's pretty prominent throughout the song.  But that's just me...everyone else may love it. :)  

    But it's a good song and you can sing...and that's half the battle IMO. :)
    #4
    THE NIGHT FOX
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    Re:Just In Time - New original song 2012/06/20 21:42:46 (permalink)

    Hi Lynn sounds like your off to a great start with that 70's type feel to it maybe even some early 80's .
    The mix didn't sound right to me and some of the lyrics , maybe its just me .
    Anyway I like where this is going , can't wait to hear it when its finished .

    James
    #5
    ruralrocker2010
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    Re:Just In Time - New original song 2012/06/20 22:17:10 (permalink)
    What if you dropped the synth to an acoustic guitar?

    The vocal sells it. It's REALLY great.

    The synth makes the mix a little too busy since it sustains throughout the vocal. If you want to keep the synth try to figure out a way to use it as accent on the turn arounds.

    Intro, accents, lead break, bridge break, but otherwise back it off.

    That's my thought. Did I say that I like the vocal? Yeah, that's cuz I do.

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    #6
    Old55
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    Re:Just In Time - New original song 2012/06/20 22:55:15 (permalink)
    I like the song.  I wouldn't change too much.  

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    #7
    The Band19
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    Re:Just In Time - New original song 2012/06/20 23:28:17 (permalink)
    Nice... I spend 2 weeks on my friggen tempo map!

    I listened on my buds, and cranked it down, because you have loud mixes (like most folks)

    One thing I notice? Listening at low volume, the drums sit "way back" in the mix? Like too far..
     
    I don't know about the Pain/Rain verse? It seems a little cheesy.

    I like the song, your music gives me a Steve Miller vibe.
    post edited by The Band19 - 2012/06/20 23:30:06
    #8
    theguitarplayer
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    Re:Just In Time - New original song 2012/06/21 00:37:14 (permalink)
    Very nicely done and it has a really nice beat and movement to it. The vocals were right on and an excellent jam you got going there. Enjoyed. Blessings, John

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    #9
    ABeautifulVirus
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    Re:Just In Time - New original song 2012/06/21 00:44:18 (permalink)
    it's awesome.  has this Steely Dan/Yes feel.  are you playing a Rhodes Mark I or emulator.
    #10
    Cactus Music
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    Re:Just In Time - New original song 2012/06/21 11:54:45 (permalink)
    Yes I really like the general vibe of the song.Good arrangement, love the EP. Guitar could be a little more aggressive. Bass sounds good. Vocals very well done, might be a bit to much chorusing in a few spots? Delay?? But the drums are really not up to the rest of the "band". They sound very "band in a box" or "Auto Accompaniment" to me. The fills are the dead giveaway. The kick seems OK in volume but try a different patch. The cymbals also sound artificial,swishy, try some other samples and then yes turn up the drums.

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    jamesg1213
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    Re:Just In Time - New original song 2012/06/21 12:34:43 (permalink)
    Nice song Lynn. A few suggestions for the mix - or, things I might do, if it was me - knock back the elec piano in the right channel and move it nearer the centre, likewise the elec gtr, in the left, the two instruments seem way too far spread to me. Push those drums right up. Move the guitar solo front and centre when it comes in. Vocal sound great, nice performance.

     
    Jyemz
     
     
     



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    #12
    bapu
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    Re:Just In Time - New original song 2012/06/21 13:09:12 (permalink)
    Lynn,

    The tones of the guitar and the EP are too similar. The EP is too "much". Drums are lost. Songs needs some high end (real piano maybe?). 

    Vox and bass sound great.

    The song vibe is good.
    #13
    Wookiee
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    Re:Just In Time - New original song 2012/06/21 13:22:52 (permalink)
    jamesg1213


    Nice song Lynn. A few suggestions for the mix - or, things I might do, if it was me - knock back the elec piano in the right channel and move it nearer the centre, likewise the elec gtr, in the left, the two instruments seem way too far spread to me. Push those drums right up. Move the guitar solo front and centre when it comes in. Vocal sound great, nice performance.

    +1 just what I was thinking as I sit listening to it.


    Thanks for sharing.

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    #14
    spacealf
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    Re:Just In Time - New original song 2012/06/21 13:26:45 (permalink)
    yes, it needs remixing. I just wonder at the long intrumental beginning of the middle part and then only two lines of singing at the end. Perhaps that part should be longer if only repeating those two lines of singing again or three. I think it is the A and D part. I like to hear a fuller electric piano in it also tucked under the other parts, too loud it seems now. What others have mentioned also I suppose.

     
     
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    paulo
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    Re:Just In Time - New original song 2012/06/21 18:16:27 (permalink)
    The song/arrangement is good, but not your best work mix-wise, where you usually show us all up. Drums sound weak/buried to the extent that I'm wondering if something went wrong with the export. Maybe that's how you wanted it, but it's not sounding good to my ears. Also sounds a bit too wide at the expense of the middle if that makes sense. Vocals sound great as always - might have to pick your brains about your methods for mixing them some time.
    #16
    Scottytunes
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    Re:Just In Time - New original song 2012/06/21 20:57:47 (permalink)
    I love the vox on this!

    I just have one suggestion....


    Please do lots more like this!

    String Jammer
    #17
    geeare1
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    Re:Just In Time - New original song 2012/06/21 21:06:07 (permalink)
    Hi Lynn,

    I like the song and love your vocal but I agree with previous posters about the drums. With a few tweaks you'll have a real gem!

    -gr

    'There's two kinds of music: good and bad. I like both.' - Duke Ellington

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    #18
    Lynn
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    Re:Just In Time - New original song 2012/06/21 21:53:58 (permalink)
    I don't have much time, but I want to say hi and thanks to all who are participating in the evolution of this song.  I hear you about the drums and am working on a new mix that'll be ready soon.  I am rethinking some other parts, as well, and I may add a harmony vocal.  I will turn down the electric piano in the right channel in order to get a better overall balance.  All your suggestions are helping me because I was not seeing the forest for the trees.  I will return as soon as possible.

    All the best,
    Lynn

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    foxwolfen
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    Re:Just In Time - New original song 2012/06/21 23:25:27 (permalink)
    Great work Lynn. I am finding the e-piano a bit present and would dial it back a bit, but otherwise... not much to crit. 

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    #20
    notnat
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    Re:Just In Time - New original song 2012/06/22 08:38:33 (permalink)
    I love your vocal on this... you have a very soulful voice... the drums do need to come way up... should be interesting hearing how this one develops... 
    #21
    Lynn
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    Re:Just In Time - New original song 2012/06/22 15:31:45 (permalink)
    To Shad and Frank, thank you for your nice comments.  I just wanted to alert you all that I put up a new version of my song just minutes ago.  I took many of your suggestions, and I'm still open minded.  You've all been a big help to me.
    foxwolfen


    Great work Lynn. I am finding the e-piano a bit present and would dial it back a bit, but otherwise... not much to crit. 


    notnat


    I love your vocal on this... you have a very soulful voice... the drums do need to come way up... should be interesting hearing how this one develops... 



    All the best,
    Lynn

    my songs
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    timidi
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    Re:Just In Time - New original song 2012/06/22 20:21:10 (permalink)
    Lynn. Nice work man. I like the production in that it's dry and separated very nicely in a sort of George Martin kind of way. I do think it's not done though:) Great vocs.

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    #23
    Lynn
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    Re:Just In Time - New original song 2012/06/22 21:08:26 (permalink)
    Thank you for the kind words, Tim.  I guess I've listened to more George Martin productions than anyone else's.  I'm thinking it might need a bit more baking, as well.
    timidi


    Lynn. Nice work man. I like the production in that it's dry and separated very nicely in a sort of George Martin kind of way. I do think it's not done though:) Great vocs.



    All the best,
    Lynn

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    drumstixkev
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    Re:Just In Time - New original song 2012/06/22 21:56:12 (permalink)
    Hey Lynn
    GREAT tune very well written. Man, can you sing! Your vocal and harmonies are just perfect.  I'm also getting the Steely Dan vibe. I'm another vote on the drums being the weakeast link of this piece.  IMO the snare hits are a bit busy at times.  Love your music and looking forward to see what you make of this piece.  KUDOS!


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    ABull
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    Re:Just In Time - New original song - REMIXED 6/22 2012/06/23 11:03:01 (permalink)
    Hey Lynn,
     
    I liked the edits - the drums sound punchier (though some of the transitions between verse/bridge need tweaking in the timing or something) -- the use of the synth is very nice and adds a dimension to the song -- the bass is interesting -- vocals are quite good.  The second bridge section is very good - good mix and sounds on it.  Like the vibe (is it okay to pull out that old hippie word?) of the song.
     
    Ya done good :)
     
    Allan
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    jamesyoyo
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    Re:Just In Time - New original song - REMIXED 6/22 2012/06/23 11:10:40 (permalink)
    It is never a great idea to widen the kick. It is definitely side heavy. Instead, try a send of your drums to a new buss, then apply a HPF up to about 200-350hz depending on taste, and then widen there.

    So then you get some width without upsetting the fundamentals of the beat that drive the song.

    Like the song. Vocals could use some more expression here and there, some character.
    #27
    notnat
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    Re:Just In Time - New original song - REMIXED 6/22 2012/06/23 12:44:10 (permalink)
    Vast improvement Lynn... what a cool song!
    The drums are better... regarding the kick, I agree with JY generally, but in this case, it sounds ok here...  personally, I would like to hear a little more snare... Very cool production...
    post edited by notnat - 2012/06/24 10:45:10
    #28
    mgh
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    Re:Just In Time - New original song - REMIXED 6/22 2012/06/23 17:05:49 (permalink)
    great song as usual from you...drums sound a touch too wide and unnatural to me, but it's an effect so if you like it...loving the guitar/organ interplay. harmony vox are excellent.

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    Bob Oister
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    Re:Just In Time - New original song - REMIXED 6/22 2012/06/24 05:02:55 (permalink)
    Hey, Lynn,
     
    I missed the first mix on this, but I think this sounds fantastic!
     
    Outstanding songwriting, phenomenal vocals, great playing and a pro sounding mix all the way.  I really love the Rhodes panned to the right and the tasty guitar licks playing in the left channel, and the little synth flourishes and mix effects add cool elements of interest that move the song along nicely.
     
    Very cool vibe, sort of like Atlanta Rhythm Section meets Steely Dan with a nice clean, modern sounding mix.
     
    Great production, Lynn!
    Bob
    #30
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