tcm123
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RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
December 14, 08 12:08 AM
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how do you know when the stage is level?
you're drummer is drooling from both sides of his mouth
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CoteRotie
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RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
December 14, 08 5:36 PM
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How do you get a drummer off of your front porch?
Pay for the pizza.
Wait, wait, what key is it in? GA-X58A-UD3 motherboard Intel i7 950 CPU w/12 G RAM ATI Radeon 4350 graphics 3 cats 1 crazydog Lynx AES16/Aurora 8 SCA N72 J99 & A12 pres. Adam A7 Monitors Win 10 SONAR Platinum 64 bit
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ericyeoman
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RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
December 14, 08 7:08 PM
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gunk
post edited by ericyeoman - January 25, 09 8:03 PM
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Mooch4056
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RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
December 14, 08 8:13 PM
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From Now On Call Me Conquistador!
Donate to the cure Bapu Foundation Email: mooch4056@gmail.com for more info
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DaneStewart
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RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
December 14, 08 8:37 PM
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ORIGINAL: ericyeoman
How do you know when a drummer is knocking at your door?
Because the knocking speeds up.
Oooooooh....owwwwch.....eeeeeeek.....
To thine own self be true. ~TheDane
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CTek
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RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
December 14, 08 8:48 PM
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I wish I knew a good drummer. MIDI drums suck.
Good drummers are fantastic. Imagine the Police with midi drums.
My Songs Sonar 7 | EZ Drums | Pod Farm| Dell Optiplex GX 270 with 1G | XP Home | Mackie 1202 mixer | Adam A7s | AKGC414 B-ULS | Shure SM-58
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montezuma
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RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
December 14, 08 9:01 PM
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What did the American drummer say to the British drummer?
Nothing!! They are so dumb they can't speak!!!
Ahhhhhahahahahaha!
Drummer jokes are so funny
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Glennbo 
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RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
December 14, 08 9:07 PM
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Elson
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RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
December 14, 08 9:46 PM
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ORIGINAL: 35mm
So the other band members are winding the drummer up, saying he just hits things and doesn't actually know the first thing about playing real melodic musical instruments. He gets quietly upset by this, and goes home after rehearsal with it still playing on his mind. He decides to prove them all wrong, and as he's lying in bed he vows to take up playing not just one, but two melodic instruments the very next day. He gets up early and walks into the music shop, catches the shopkeeper's eye, and says, "Right mate, I'll buy that red trumpet over there, and that piano accordion on the wall too." The shopkeeper looks at the guy with a slightly puzzled expression on his face, rubs his chin for a moment, and then says, "Hmmm, well I'll sell you the fire extinguisher, but there's no way you're having that radiator!"
HAHAHA ROTFL! Though to be fair, the best and most intelligent drummers (yes they do exist...a few of them) are the ones who can play other instruments and can write songs...The rest just like to show off and play fills at the most random moments instead of sticking to the f'ing beat and supporting the damn song.
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daveny5
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RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
December 14, 08 10:56 PM
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I wish I knew a good drummer. MIDI drums suck. Use drum loops. They sound and feel better than MIDI drum tracks, IMHO.
post edited by daveny5 - December 14, 08 10:59 PM
Dave Computer: Intel i7, ASROCK H170M, 16GB/5TB+, Windows 10 Pro 64-bit, Sonar Platinum, TASCAM US-16x08, Cakewalk UM-3G MIDI I/F Instruments: SL-880 Keyboard controller, Korg 05R/W, Korg N1R, KORG Wavestation EX Axes: Fender Stratocaster, Line6 Variax 300, Ovation Acoustic, Takamine Nylon Acoustic, Behringer GX212 amp, Shure SM-58 mic, Rode NT1 condenser mic. Outboard: Mackie 1402-VLZ mixer, TC Helicon VoiceLive 2, Digitech Vocalist WS EX, PODXTLive, various stompboxes and stuff. Controllers: Korg nanoKONTROL, Wacom Bamboo Touchpad
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rbecker
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RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
December 14, 08 11:27 PM
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Man....Thinking back to my garage band days, our drummer was the only one who actually made any money in all the years we played out. He started and ended with the same set of Ludwigs, while the rest of us spent all our earning$ +++ on guitars and keyboards and various effects. I think he bought a vibraslap somewhere along the way.
He laughed at our drummer jokes all the way to the bank, the fox!
RJB -Vernon Corv "There are 10 types of people in the world...Those who understand binary and those who don't." My Songs --- Sonar Platinum HD: ST2000DM 001-1ER164 7200RPM Intel(R) Core(TM) i7-2600 CPU @3.40 Ghz RAM:12.0 GB Memory:2 drives 1 Terabyte each Windows 10 Video: NVIDA GeForce GTX 550 Ti Audio: Focusrite Scarlett 2i4
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buckybeen
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RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
December 15, 08 0:06 PM
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My favorite musician joke remains:
What's the difference between a keyboard and a coffin?
The coffin has the corpse on the inside.
"I think you've got something there. I'll wait outside until you clean it up."
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daveny5
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RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
December 15, 08 9:00 AM
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My favorite musician joke remains:
What's the difference between a keyboard and a coffin?
The coffin has the corpse on the inside. Must have lost something in the translation because I don't think this is funny at all. What's the difference between a porcupine and a Porche? On a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside. 
Dave Computer: Intel i7, ASROCK H170M, 16GB/5TB+, Windows 10 Pro 64-bit, Sonar Platinum, TASCAM US-16x08, Cakewalk UM-3G MIDI I/F Instruments: SL-880 Keyboard controller, Korg 05R/W, Korg N1R, KORG Wavestation EX Axes: Fender Stratocaster, Line6 Variax 300, Ovation Acoustic, Takamine Nylon Acoustic, Behringer GX212 amp, Shure SM-58 mic, Rode NT1 condenser mic. Outboard: Mackie 1402-VLZ mixer, TC Helicon VoiceLive 2, Digitech Vocalist WS EX, PODXTLive, various stompboxes and stuff. Controllers: Korg nanoKONTROL, Wacom Bamboo Touchpad
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strikinglyhandsome1
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RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
December 15, 08 9:21 AM
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./.
post edited by strikinglyhandsome1 - December 15, 08 9:22 AM
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Saintom
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RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
December 15, 08 9:54 AM
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Must have lost something in the translation because I don't think this is funny at all.
I think it might be that observation humor (kinda like Seinfeld) most of the time a keyboard player is on stage they just sit and concentrate on playing the instrument at hand, this translates to no being very animated when one is playing keys, and anyone who has been to a funeral knows the one in the coffin doesn't move very much, just like a keyboard player does not jump around as much as lets say a lead singer or guitar player, some bass players do move around quite a bit (Flea and Bootsie come to mind, although John Entwistle did not have much action on the stage, so his stage manners could have also been the punch line to this joke) Also comparing a live player to a dead person is funny in some circles just because comparing two thing that don't go together is a great thing to create humorous situation that don't normally happen in life. A good example would be the Spam bit by Monty Python, see they were making fun of Spam but Spam was invented so the army could eat ham in a can with spices. HTH Tom
Sometimes we see the light, Sometimes we stare at the light, and wonder why it is so bright...
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candlesayshi
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RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
December 15, 08 10:04 AM
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ORIGINAL: ericyeoman
How do you know when a drummer is knocking at your door?
Because the knocking keeps speeding up, and he doesn't know when to come in.
Fxt.
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35mm
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RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
December 15, 08 9:07 PM
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I have to admit that the joke I started this thread off with, was told to me by a drummer! lol
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Clydewinder
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RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
December 15, 08 10:26 PM
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What does the average drummer get on his IQ test?
... Drool.
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tls11823
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RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
December 16, 08 10:52 PM
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All I know is that Hearos offers both "ear plugs for musicians" and "ear plugs for drummers".
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SteveStrummerUK
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RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
December 19, 08 3:55 PM
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What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine? You only have to punch the information into a drum machine once 
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xohol
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RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
December 19, 08 4:34 PM
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what do you call a drummer w/ half a brain?
Gifted!
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godino
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RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
December 19, 08 5:21 PM
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Hey why are you just having a go at drummers What about Accordian players An accordian player gets drunk one night and leaves his accordian on the back seat of his car in a rough area. when he gets to the car next morning - sure enough the back window has been broken, and there on the back seat is another accordian.
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cryophonik
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RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
December 19, 08 5:44 PM
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ORIGINAL: ronniebuss2
Q. What do you call the losers that hang around with musicians?
A. Drummers.
...or DJs 
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markno999
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RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
December 19, 08 8:03 PM
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So I sent some of these quite humorous drummer jokes to a drummer friend of mine that I work with everyday. He sent this message in return:
Q - What's black and blue and laying in a ditch?
A - A guitarist who's told too many drummer jokes.
I guess drummer's don't have a sense of humor.........
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Jonbouy
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RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
May 17, 10 3:46 AM
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I asked my Mother if I could be a drummer when I grow up.
She said, "You can't do both!".
"We can't do anything to change the world until capitalism crumbles. In the meantime we should all go shopping to console ourselves" - Banksy
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SeveredVesper
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RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
May 17, 10 5:32 AM
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Q - What's black and blue and laying in a ditch?
Drummer: What?
A - A guitarist who's told too many drummer jokes.
Drummer: (Facing away, concentrating on picking his nose with his pointing finger)
What? Oh sorry. Can't listen well if you can't breathe well right?
(Taps his pointing finger to his head)
We gotta use our head sometimes to figure out things, you know?
So..., What was that again? I can hear clearly now with my nose all cleared up
Check out my band's song on YouTube!
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SeveredVesper
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RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
May 17, 10 5:37 AM
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I don't know how these drummer jokes started, but back in the day, we're really most drummers dumdums in cliche? I never found any drummer as stupid or something. Never experienced one.
Check out my band's song on YouTube!
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SeveredVesper
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RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
May 17, 10 5:39 AM
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cryophonik
ORIGINAL: ronniebuss2
Q. What do you call the losers that hang around with musicians?
A. Drummers.
...or DJs
The poseurs ofcourse.
Check out my band's song on YouTube!
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bapu
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RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
May 17, 10 10:56 AM
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Jonbouy
I asked my Mother if I could be a drummer when I grow up.
She said, "You can't do both!".
Even if you could do both, they would have to be done in good time.
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Moshkiae
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Re: RE: WARNING! - may upset drummers
May 17, 10 6:44 PM
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Hi,
Actually I sometimes think that the comment at the top has merit, even though many here will probably disagree with me and not like this reply!
You only have to listen a few times to Jaki Liebzeit, or Mani Neumeier, or a Pierre Moerlin and then sit back a little ... and go ... yeah ... the majority of drummers can not get off the 4th beat thing with their snare drum!
See if you can sit through Bel Air by Can .. and concentrate strictly on the drums ... so you can have an idea what "adding" to the music really means ... or the side 2 of "Soon Over Babbalooma" leading into the song Quantuum Physics ... the only problem being that 99 out of 100 of folks here are going to complaint about my comments instead of checking out the examples!
There is a lot more to music than keeping time. And the good ones did way more than just keep time. But with the state of the music today, so controlled by DAW's and stuff, it's really hard to find a drummer that can do something special to the music ... almost all of them are strict time keepers ... and they can only do their flaring bits during 4 beats every 7000000000000.wqe;fojsgljsd343414 beats because ... they do not know anything else and have not heard anything else.
The really good drummers don't have to advertise the 4th beat and they spend their time blending the music and the drums into the music ... the rest ... 90% of their work is keeping time! ... you know how much talent that takes? Yeah ... metronomes go for 20 bux! and they don't talk back!
It's probably good that he/she went after all those items ... gonna need them to color the music some since the person demanding it is not intelligent enough to help define the color ... just **** about it!
As a wise Guy once stated from his holy chapala ... none of the hits, none of the time ... prevents you from becoming just another turkey in the middle of all the other turkeys!
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