Kalle Rantaaho


I curse the tasks to be done or the lack of time. Either I curse the duties, having to fix this or that, mowing the lawn, making firewood, changing door knobs, or the fact that there's really not enough free time to really start something that requires more than one or two hours. If I want to do something in my free time I have to schedule it as tightly as any job (otherwise I just sleep), so it does not feel like free time.
I can't remember feeling easy and relaxed, I really can't. It's not fun. I'm lowsy at living (could I say "I'm a stinking liver"?? :o) meaning I stink at living.....

That kinda sounds like me a few years back. A lot! lol And even now - just had a similar "episode" 2 hours ago.


I used to say that all the time - I'm no good at living. It never completely vanishes, but you can make things a bit smoother. 

Chinese martial arts helped me regain some control - the negative emotions are still all there, but I can at least keep them at a distance most of the time and enjoy life instead of just putting up w/ it... 


Not necessarily a solution for everyone, and not trying to find one for you, or implying that you need one, but, fwiw, if you hate it, don't lose hope of it ever improving.