I'm posting this for the archives, in case it helps anyone, in future.
I finally found a really solid solution to my desire for a real-time, ITB, mix-into mastering chain, with Sonar X2. Quick recap: The mastering chain is too demanding -- Audio drops outs like crazy. My computer can't be faster, it's a liquid-cooled Ivy Bridge. I can't use a separate computer as I can't afford buying a second ilok licence for all my waves plugins, etc. The computer is fast enough, but Sonar won't break up that mastering chain across more than one core.
This solution was inspired after trying the Studio One V2 demo (nice DAW, btw) and noticing that it, too, was putting the entire serial, stereo bus effects on only one core (and getting audio drop-outs) exactly like X2. Sonar seems to even be a little better performing than Studio One, in this regard.
My solution: I use Sonar's "external fx" out to go into Reaper (running in live, record-enabled monitoring mode only). Reaper just acts as a dumb VST rack. Then, out of Reaper back into Sonar -- for just the mastering chain portion.
Bam. That's it.
Reaper has settings to limit which cores it uses, so I set it to use the last four (Sonar can then hog the first four all it wants). Reaper's audio engine will spread the mastering across its four allocated cores, so there is plenty of horse-power there for the "external" effect.
To avoid buying another audio interface, I found a way to "hack" the one I have by creating an all-digital loopback on it. I just took two cables for my MOTU 896HD (Virtual Audio Cables were not working well) -- an optical cable, looped from the ADAT 1/2 out to the ADAT 1/2 in (a closed loop). Then I did the same on the AES/EBU 1/2 digital out/in. Pretty sneaky, ey? So, it's Sonar ADAT port out, to Reaper's ADAT port in, then Reaper AES/EBU out, to Sonar AES/EBU in -- the Sonar external effect module completes the connection.
It works so slick. Nothing important is lost via the 24 bit digital connection, so I can do a commercial-grade Ozone dither at the end of the chain (in Reaper) and what comes back into Sonar it's not altered in any way (no clipping overs, etc.)
If you didn't have an audio interface that you could do this sort of loopback workaround, you could just buy another audio interface with a digital connection (like ADAT lightpipe that most have) that's compatible with the digital connection of your primary interface.
Basically, this is a way unlock the full potential of today's really fast computers and keep it all in one box. I think mastering is the main use-case for this, but perhaps there are other uses.
Anyway, I'm very happy with this solution. Everything is working more smoothly now, as it's taking that burden of my main DAW.
Cheers.