craigb
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Re:musician jokes
2012/08/20 12:21:44
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(My usual one - but it hasn't been posted in this thread yet, so...)
Did you hear about the bass player who locked his keys in the car? It took over an hour to get the drummer out.
Time for all of you to head over to Beyond My DAW!
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dmbaer
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Re:musician jokes
2012/08/20 16:32:44
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Two tenors walked into a diner. First tenor: "Do you want to get a table?". Second tenor: "Nah, I'm more of a counter tenor."
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Ham N Egz
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Re:musician jokes
2012/08/20 17:48:04
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didnt we dew this in another thread somewhere in the olden daze???
I know, cause somebody stole my jokes....
Green Acres is the place to be I dont twitter, facebook, snapchat, instagram,linkedin,tumble,pinterest,flick, blah blah,lets have an old fashioned conversation!
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paulo
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Re:musician jokes
2012/08/20 18:09:41
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How do you turn a duck into a singer ?
Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers.
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paulo
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Re:musician jokes
2012/08/20 18:34:19
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a drummers arm?
A tattoo.
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Linear Phase
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Re:musician jokes
2012/08/20 18:35:26
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What do you get, when you drop a piano down a mine?
A flat minor
too many lasers...  Sonar = audio editing ninja of a music software!
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paulo
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Re:musician jokes
2012/08/20 18:36:36
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a bassist?
The vacuum cleaner has to be plugged in to suck.
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Randy P
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Re:musician jokes
2012/08/20 18:59:08
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What's something a musician will never hear?
Bar Owner: Gee, you guys sound great, but could you turn it up?
Randy
http://www.soundclick.com/riprorenband
The music biz is a cruel and shallow money trench,a plastic hallway where thieves & pimps run free and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side. Hunter S. Thompson
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Jonbouy
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Re:musician jokes
2012/08/20 19:04:51
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There are no musician jokes.
All of them are true.
"We can't do anything to change the world until capitalism crumbles. In the meantime we should all go shopping to console ourselves" - Banksy
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Guitarhacker
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Re:musician jokes
2012/08/20 19:05:58
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musicman100
didnt we dew this in another thread somewhere in the olden daze???
I know, cause somebody stole my jokes....
yes, in fact, we did. But these days as I get older and older, the memory is shorter and shorter so these jokes, while vaguely familiar, are practically brand new.
My website & music: www.herbhartley.com MC4/5/6/X1e.c, on a Custom DAW Focusrite Firewire Saffire Interface BMI/NSAI "Just as the blade chooses the warrior, so too, the song chooses the writer "
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Randy P
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Re:musician jokes
2012/08/20 21:10:55
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After Jon Lord passed recently he found himself walking around in the clouds. After a little while, he heard the unmistakable sound of one saying "check....check......check" into a microphone. He followed the sound thru the clouds, and found himself on a huge stage.
Looking around, he started seeing faces he recognized. There was John Entwistle tuning up a bass guitar. Janis Joplin and Amy Winehouse are doing vocal warmups together. On the other side of the stage, Randy Rhodes, Robert Johnson and Jimi Hendrix are tuning up and trading blues licks.
Stunned by the scene, he finally noticed a skinny pale faced Brian Jones standing next to him. Brian says "there's a nice vintage B3 plugged into a classic Leslie all ready for you Jon". Jon turned to Brian with a tear in his eye and says "so this is rock n roll heaven?". Brian, obviously high on something, mumbles "not exactly.
Right then Karen Carpenter walks in and sits down at the drums and says "Ok.....Close To You....1...2...3
Randy
http://www.soundclick.com/riprorenband
The music biz is a cruel and shallow money trench,a plastic hallway where thieves & pimps run free and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side. Hunter S. Thompson
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Beagle
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Re:musician jokes
2012/08/20 22:48:01
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AT
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Re:musician jokes
2012/08/20 23:29:28
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I've got one close to Randy's but can't be repeated on a family forum.
https://soundcloud.com/a-pleasure-dome
http://www.bnoir-film.com/ there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. 24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
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Psalmist35
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Re:musician jokes
2012/08/21 12:34:02
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Q.) What's the difference between a dead skunk on the side of the road and a dead Euphonium player on the side of the road?
A.) The skunk was on his way to a gig!
George Foreman Grill; Ginsu knifes; Clapper; Home Grown Intel i7 -6700K 16G Ram; Sonar Platinum; MOTU 896HD; Tascam US2400;
My Music
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craigb
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Re:musician jokes
2012/08/21 12:50:07
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eu·pho·ni·um /yuˈfoʊniəm/ [yoo-foh-nee-uhm]
noun
a brass musical instrument similar to the baritone tuba but somewhat smaller, with a wider bore and mellower tone, and often having a second bell.
For others that might have been curious.
post edited by craigb - 2012/08/21 12:51:10
Time for all of you to head over to Beyond My DAW!
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Marcus Curtis
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Re:musician jokes
2012/08/22 02:02:29
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Q. What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?
A. A Drummer.
Here is one thing you will never hear a drummer say. “Hey guys let’s do one of my songs”
Q. What is black and blue and lying in a ditch?
A. A guitar player that told too many drummer jokes.
Q. What do you call a trombone player with a business card?
A. an optimist
http://www.marcuscurtismusic.com/ Windows 10 ultimate, Sonar Platinum, AMD Phenom 2 x6 1075T processor 3.00 GHz, (6 cores) 8 gigs of Ram, Audio interfaces=VS-100, Pod X3 live pro, Boss GT-100, Boss GP10 Midi Controllers=Edirol PCR 800, roland GR-55. Ozone 7, Podfarm, Th2 Full Version, Melda, True Pianos Full Version, and a whole bunch of free VST plugins which can be found through my site.
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Psalmist35
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Re:musician jokes
2012/08/23 15:47:57
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Q.) What do a drum solo and an orgasim have in common?
A.) You know it's gonna happen and there's nothing you can do to stop it!
George Foreman Grill; Ginsu knifes; Clapper; Home Grown Intel i7 -6700K 16G Ram; Sonar Platinum; MOTU 896HD; Tascam US2400;
My Music
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