Any good Redneck jokes?

Race based humor is not taboo.
 
HATEFUL race based humor (that generally isn't funny to begin with) is the problem.
 
"Punching down" is generally considered poor comedy by the the masters. That said I have more or less purged "redneck" comedy from my personal repertoire because poor rural white folks are indeed getting screwed almost as much as anyone else. Now we just need to convince them to stop voting for leopards to eat their faces.

Most humor pokes fun at a group or a subject. Someone thinks it's funny and usually someone else doesn't. This is the nature of humor. To use humor you "go out on a limb" so to speak. I try to be careful. Some people are just waiting to be offended.
I am from the south as well. I don't consider myself a redneck though. One reason I left the south is I didn't fit in ( You can make a joke about that and I won't ever be offended :) I think there is a difference between poking fun and insulting someone.
I have found there are yankee rednecks too.
 
Here goes- You know you're a redneck when.................................the amount you spent to fill up your gas tank exceeds the value of the car you filled. Was that funny?
 

I tried but my post was deleted.
 

You know your a Redneck if your Idea of a Pink Cadillac looks like this  .

 
Kenny

 

heard about it?!!
 
i KNOW that guy......
 
'cept he was from Jersey.

So what went down here. Disclaimer that me and son in law don’t have a single cell of prejudice against anything. Heart of the individual is all that matters. Has nothing to do with the skin covering or belief system. Me still struggling with the gay, transvestite, carved up genital groups, but at least I admit I got a problem that I hope to get beyond in this life. We got way more crosses to deal with than what‘s between our legs or the silicone load we are carrying through life.
 
So much want to name names and places to express outrage but will only harm the kid and his family.
 
Son in law guy almost walks on water as an architect and contractor. That good. He was hired on by a state wide health system that moved him ahead of all the internal applicants because of his skill level and his outlook on the responsibilities of a manager.
 
Didn’t keep him out of brimstone for severe racial discrimination, dereliction of duty, failure to meet maintenance deadlines, refusal to undergo mandatory cultural sensitivity training. The guy is in trouble. This is his side of the story. Nothing you or me can do about any of this but awareness a good thing because we are all victims of this mentality.
 
Second time in less than 2 years that a student has done a swan dive out the 5^th floor of the plush gay and lesbian dorm. Last guy was otherwise normal but complained he couldn’t fit in to ordinary society. Was transferred to the LGBTQ dorm and freaked out. Every other ethnic or spiritual group has a designer building but not the average kid trying to get a college degree.
 
My family guy had to go in and inspect the place for structural damage and said it was like going through the Rocky Horror Picture Show. No wonder the kid took his life.
 
The alternative dorm now is demanding that the walls and halls are painted specific shades of lavender and pink, and provisions for temporary placement while the fumes clear out. They are going through a cost analysis of how to set up motion detectors and ground air bags to be deployed if someone is hanging out a window. Next problem is with the bathrooms. Parents didn’t want the gender smear so the university proposed a gender neutral bathroom for the queers, keeping biological genders feeling safe in their private environment. This was not enough. The demand is now for each gender variation to have its own bathroom and the kid said they have just added another gender spinoff in the last week. They don’t have the manpower or space to create eight new bathrooms, but powers over their head told them to make it done and quick..
 
Across the street, the maintenance crew has another problem with a group in their designer dorm about to go thru a month long tradition. The crew had to order specific hand crafted drapes to cover the windows. Their bathroom was just remodeled to comply with an inside foot washing station. Now it seems that there is a further division between the rich and poor. They have now demanded an external foot washing station in public view that displays the rich elect that can pay to have others wash their feet. Cannot be in the communal bathroom. Seems like all hell is breaking loose when the group distributed leaflets to the Asian dorm offering minimum wage to 10 lucky recipients to come over and wash their feet in public. Defense was that people from the Philippines are only good for manual labor in their country. Got to say my Asian wife is serious pissed.
 
With all the turmoil, my son in law was sent to gender/race sensitivity training to get his white trash evil ways corrected. Got no reason to doubt that what he said went on is true.
 
Said that the program was attended mandatory with about 30 others. Within 2 minutes the crap erupted.
He was singled out and attacked by a 24 year old facilitator, new social studies degree and protected "minority" status. She pointed at him and said he was a middle aged white male. He owned a gun. He was a white bigot. He was one step removed from the Ku Klux Klan.
 
The kid was blown away, stood up and told her she had never met him, didn’t know anything about him, didn’t have to take the abuse and walked out. Three other managers walked out as well in protest.
 
Now he’s in trouble for not attending company mandated training. He pleaded his case in the disciplinary hearing. Said he wanted to blast her back asking how she got across the border. Response was that it was good he held his tongue or he would not be sitting before the inquiry. Asked what he should have done. Answer was nothing. Either the girl or the union would have taken them to the cleaners. He was part of the vanishing ethnic group with no rights or protection. Get real and live with it. Further punishment up to termination still pending.
 
So how does any of this make a fuk of difference…
 
While the team is trying to get embroidered flags and a plumbing project in place for the celebration group and negotiate color subtleties for the gay dorm, there are other minor issues.
 
One satellite site had the cafeteria heating system down all last winter. Kids bundled in blankets watching their own breath and freezing their asses off. Another off site has black fungus goo spitting out from their ice machine that are supposed to be purged and cleaned every 3 months but have not been serviced in 2 years.
 
My kid took matters into his own hands and took the entire team to the site and fixed the heating in one day. He was welcomed more than the second coming of Yaweh.
 
Big trouble though because he had gone outside the chain of command and not focused on the real issues. What shade of pink for the gay dorm. Officials said they were aware of the problems and they would have been eventually addressed by the level of priority.
 
Again, sorry for a long tirade. Just had to tell this story. Sad as to where we are at.
 
John
 
 
 

Yeah, maybe snowflakes

Why can't they just give the kids paint and let them paint the halls whatever color they want?
 
The great PNW is an interesting and nearly equal mix of progressives and conservatives, of rednecks and liberals. It requires being bi-lingual and very tolerant. One must be able to hold John Oliver and Rush Limbaugh concurrently in one's mind without it wracking asunder.
 
Good luck and best wishes in you son in-law's correctness fiasco.
 
-Tom
 
 
 

Guys,
Thanks for the support and took the liberty of telling him the community here has sent good wishes and concerns his way. He said to thank everyone.
John

JohnKenn
So what went down here. Disclaimer that me and son in law don’t have a single cell of prejudice against anything. Heart of the individual is all that matters. Has nothing to do with the skin covering or belief system. Me still struggling with the gay, transvestite, carved up genital groups, but at least I admit I got a problem that I hope to get beyond in this life. We got way more crosses to deal with than what‘s between our legs or the silicone load we are carrying through life.
 
So much want to name names and places to express outrage but will only harm the kid and his family.
 
Son in law guy almost walks on water as an architect and contractor. That good. He was hired on by a state wide health system that moved him ahead of all the internal applicants because of his skill level and his outlook on the responsibilities of a manager.
 
Didn’t keep him out of brimstone for severe racial discrimination, dereliction of duty, failure to meet maintenance deadlines, refusal to undergo mandatory cultural sensitivity training. The guy is in trouble. This is his side of the story. Nothing you or me can do about any of this but awareness a good thing because we are all victims of this mentality.
 
Second time in less than 2 years that a student has done a swan dive out the 5^th floor of the plush gay and lesbian dorm. Last guy was otherwise normal but complained he couldn’t fit in to ordinary society. Was transferred to the LGBTQ dorm and freaked out. Every other ethnic or spiritual group has a designer building but not the average kid trying to get a college degree.
 
My family guy had to go in and inspect the place for structural damage and said it was like going through the Rocky Horror Picture Show. No wonder the kid took his life.
 
The alternative dorm now is demanding that the walls and halls are painted specific shades of lavender and pink, and provisions for temporary placement while the fumes clear out. They are going through a cost analysis of how to set up motion detectors and ground air bags to be deployed if someone is hanging out a window. Next problem is with the bathrooms. Parents didn’t want the gender smear so the university proposed a gender neutral bathroom for the queers, keeping biological genders feeling safe in their private environment. This was not enough. The demand is now for each gender variation to have its own bathroom and the kid said they have just added another gender spinoff in the last week. They don’t have the manpower or space to create eight new bathrooms, but powers over their head told them to make it done and quick..
 
Across the street, the maintenance crew has another problem with a group in their designer dorm about to go thru a month long tradition. The crew had to order specific hand crafted drapes to cover the windows. Their bathroom was just remodeled to comply with an inside foot washing station. Now it seems that there is a further division between the rich and poor. They have now demanded an external foot washing station in public view that displays the rich elect that can pay to have others wash their feet. Cannot be in the communal bathroom. Seems like all hell is breaking loose when the group distributed leaflets to the Asian dorm offering minimum wage to 10 lucky recipients to come over and wash their feet in public. Defense was that people from the Philippines are only good for manual labor in their country. Got to say my Asian wife is serious pissed.
 
With all the turmoil, my son in law was sent to gender/race sensitivity training to get his white trash evil ways corrected. Got no reason to doubt that what he said went on is true.
 
Said that the program was attended mandatory with about 30 others. Within 2 minutes the crap erupted.
He was singled out and attacked by a 24 year old facilitator, new social studies degree and protected "minority" status. She pointed at him and said he was a middle aged white male. He owned a gun. He was a white bigot. He was one step removed from the Ku Klux Klan.
 
The kid was blown away, stood up and told her she had never met him, didn’t know anything about him, didn’t have to take the abuse and walked out. Three other managers walked out as well in protest.
 
Now he’s in trouble for not attending company mandated training. He pleaded his case in the disciplinary hearing. Said he wanted to blast her back asking how she got across the border. Response was that it was good he held his tongue or he would not be sitting before the inquiry. Asked what he should have done. Answer was nothing. Either the girl or the union would have taken them to the cleaners. He was part of the vanishing ethnic group with no rights or protection. Get real and live with it. Further punishment up to termination still pending.
 
So how does any of this make a fuk of difference…
 
While the team is trying to get embroidered flags and a plumbing project in place for the celebration group and negotiate color subtleties for the gay dorm, there are other minor issues.
 
One satellite site had the cafeteria heating system down all last winter. Kids bundled in blankets watching their own breath and freezing their asses off. Another off site has black fungus goo spitting out from their ice machine that are supposed to be purged and cleaned every 3 months but have not been serviced in 2 years.
 
My kid took matters into his own hands and took the entire team to the site and fixed the heating in one day. He was welcomed more than the second coming of Yaweh.
 
Big trouble though because he had gone outside the chain of command and not focused on the real issues. What shade of pink for the gay dorm. Officials said they were aware of the problems and they would have been eventually addressed by the level of priority.
 
Again, sorry for a long tirade. Just had to tell this story. Sad as to where we are at.
 
John
 
 
 

Boo hoo. Sorry (not sorry) we have moved on from slapping waitress on the behind and treating non whites like second class citizens. "how she got across the border"?  wow,  just wow.  Angry about being stereo typed,  but then goes ahead and does the same. that's the real problem.  the hypocrisy. 

Okay. This is just getting dumb.

Dude, you used a false pretense (redneck jokes which is kind of inappropriate here as it is) to use one sided anecdotes that sound at the least hyperbolized to go on a tired old anti-"PC" rant.
 
Just stop because this is not the place for it.
 
kthxbye