AnsweredBapu's (and others) random thoughts for the day.

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguinson the ice in Antarctica ?
Where dothey go?

Wonder no more ! ! !
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualisticbird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.The penguin is very committedto its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.

The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:
















"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."

That's cold.

Just a quick FYI note to go along with MM's nature lesson: There are no miniture nuns living in the Antartic.  Just thought I'd let you all know.

Old55


That's cold.

As Ice ~Furriner

GUESS WHO???

Man, I'm so depressed.

Where are all the new train wreck freds upstairs (or even flushed down here)?

How do y'all expect me to get to 60K 70K 75K 100K?

bapu


Seems redundant, no?    

What's your point Bapu?


Oh, titttle change.

< 21K from a cool 'af million views.

bapu


< 21K from a cool 'af million views.

17116 / 479054  where did you study mathmatics???

Someone accused me of being away with the fairies just now...
 
They soon looked at me in a different light when I explained I was actually deep in the enchanted forest talking to a woodcutter.

musicman100

bapu


< 21K from a cool 'af million views.

17116 / 479054  where did you study mathmatics???

500000
479073-
=====
020927*

Which is < 21K, no?

JB,

How much wood could a wood cutter cut if a woodcutter was a fairy (who wears boots)?

bapu

musicman100

bapu


< 21K from a cool 'af million views.

17116 / 479054  where did you study mathmatics???

500000
479073-
=====
020927*

Which is < 21K, no?

Have I got my cymbals messed up?

I prefer to think of a pathetic sword as a butter knife.

Or as George Castanza would say "It just got out of the pool!!!!"

bapu


I prefer to think of a pathetic sword as a butter knife. 

I never thought of that. I searched for a suitable pathetic sword pic and they were all pretty damned good. Ah well.

See? One must think outside the box.

Si.

bapu

bapu

musicman100

bapu


< 21K from a cool 'af million views.

17116 / 479054  where did you study mathmatics???

500000
479073-
=====
020927*

Which is < 21K, no?

Have I got my cymbals messed up?

nein, I wuz on a different page, it went over my head....but I do have a name for my organ...

Man I am bored, lets go upstairs as malcontents and stir up discord and malign users  and daws and then run away.

Yes, lets you do that!! I am board too. We could planking up there.

J

musicman100


GUESS WHO???

 

 

 

no, not the band...

Daryk, is that you?  

jbow


Yes, lets you do that!! I am board too. We could planking up there.

J

I wood think we knead a ringleader, first

musicman100

jbow


Yes, lets you do that!! I am board too. We could planking up there.

J

I wood think we knead a ringleader, first

Bapu is kind of the ringmaster of this circus.  

Fiddlesticks!! Bapu does seem to be well bread.

jbow


Fiddlesticks!!

You can still be the ringleader for the raiding party.  

No, one cult leader is enough. All hail the Bapu

Meet the new boss
Same as the old boss

FSF seems to be lacking something just now.
 
Perhaps it needs a joke in it.
 
I'll see if I can find one to bring next time I come if I remember.
 
Jokes make me laugh.

How do you get a drummer off your porch?

Pay for the pizza...

old, I know

Newer joke:

Interview of a Married Man
 
Guys, here is very eye opening interview of a married man for the benefit of the unmarried ones, who may learn a few things...

Interview of a Married Man (for the benefit of the unmarried ones)

Reporter: So how is your married life?
The married man: First of all, "married life" is an oxymoron.

Reporter: But people say marriages are made in heaven?
The married man: Only if heaven is full of Chinese people.

Reporter: So yours was an arranged marriage, how was it?
The married man: Arrange marriage for a man is like Eid for a goat. They treat him like a prince, feed him with great foods, and dress him with bright colors and then.

Reporter: Hmmmm, so when did you realize that married life is dangerous?
The married man: I knew it from day one, marriage is danger, that's why the bride always wears RED.

Reporter: I've heard that arranged marriages last longer that the love ones? Is it true?
The married man: Love marriages, hahaha, mostly it goes like this:
We are made for each other.
We are mad for each other.
We are maid for each other.

Reporter: If it is that bad then how married people pass their time?
The married man: They watch a lot of TV. Wife watches "Punar-Vivah" and husband wants it for real.

Reporter: So, why you guys don't do any fun things, like playing games together?
The married man: Yes we do. Me and my wife, we are playing a game called "You to be blamed", very close game, right now she is leading by 1876 - 1.

Reporter: Okay, tell us, what kind of conversations you guys make while you're free?
The married man: She asks a lot of questions, every wife does, and as start answering their questions, they start questioning our answers.

Reporter: So any tips you wanna share?
The married man: Yep, quite a few:
(A) Don't waste your energy trying to make her laugh, she'll treat you like a clown anyway.
(B) Never reply to your wife's "I love you" text with an OKAY.
(C) Remember, a perfect husband is one who apologies every time his wife makes a mistake.
(D) And yes, take your wife on holidays to different places of the world, that will increase chances of her being lost.

A pastor is visiting at the nursing home. An elderly woman has a bowl of peanuts on the table. The pastor begins to eat a few as they talk. After visiting for a while he realizes that he has eaten all her peanuts. He apologizes profusely. The woman says, "Don't think of it... It is no problem ... all I can do is suck the chocolate off them anymore.

Patient: Doctor, doctor. I've come out in spots like cherries on a cake. Doctor: Ah, you must have analogy.

See, a few jokes and the joint is jumping again.

Two crows are sitting on the handles of a basket of corn, eating the corn. One flies away to the east and drops dead. One flies away to the west and drops dead.

Whant is the moral of the story?









Never fly off the handle after eating corn.

(Credits to bedtime stories on WLS: Art Roberts)

An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "woman without her man is nothing". The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly.

The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."

The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."

What's the definition of a pessimist?
 
A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.

One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head.
 
The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust.
The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer, and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened.
The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer, and started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BAS**RD!!!!"

I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday.
Tell you what – never again!”

 A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says, “Ugh! That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.” 
 
The woman stalks off to the rear of the bus and sits down. She turns to the man sitting next to her and says, “The driver just insulted me!”
 
The man says, “You go and give him a telling off. I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

Old Lady: Do you always play by ear?
Street Musician: Yes, lady, 'ere or 'ereabouts.

A very rich lawyer is approached by the United Way. The man from the United Way is concerned that the lawyer made over $1,000,000.00 last year but didn't donate even a cent to a charity.
 
"First of all", says the lawyer, "my mother is sick and dying in the hospital, and it's not covered by healthcare. Second, I had five kids through three divorced marriages. Third, my sister's husband suddenly died and she has no one to support her four children..."
 
  "I'm terribly sorry", says the United Way man, "I feel bad about asking for money."
  The Lawyer responds, "Yeah, well if I'm not giving them any money, why should I give you any?"

The phone rings at Federal Drug Enforcement Agency headquarters. "Hello?" "Hello, is this the Federal Drug Enforcement Agency?" "Yes. What can we do for you?" "I'm calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding cocaine in his firewood." "Thank you, this will be noted." Next day, the Drug Enforcement agents come over to Tom's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no cocaine, swear at Tom and leave. The phone rings at Tom's house. "Hey, Tom! Did the Federal Drug Enforcement guys come by?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood for you?" "Yeah, they did." "Okay, now it's YOUR turn to call. I need my garden plowed."

jbow


A very rich lawyer is approached by the United Way. The man from the United Way is concerned that the lawyer made over $1,000,000.00 last year but didn't donate even a cent to a charity.
 
"First of all", says the lawyer, "my mother is sick and dying in the hospital, and it's not covered by healthcare. Second, I had five kids through three divorced marriages. Third, my sister's husband suddenly died and she has no one to support her four children..."
 
  "I'm terribly sorry", says the United Way man, "I feel bad about asking for money."
  The Lawyer responds, "Yeah, well if I'm not giving them any money, why should I give you any?"

Chort

An elderly woman went into the doctor`s office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied: "I`d like to have some birth-control pills."
Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said: "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you`re 72 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?"
The woman responded: "They help me sleep."
The doctor thought some more and continued: "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?"
The woman said: "I put them in my granddaughter`s orange juice every morning and I sleep better at night!"

A couple of chortles there, Jbow.  Well done.  

jbow


Fiddlesticks!! Bapu does seem to be well bread.

Ya, he's the toast of the town Coffee House!

I thought I was well dreaded

bapu


I thought I was well dreaded

That's a lock.  

Old55

bapu


I thought I was well dreaded

That's a lock.  

Pick a lock?

Looks like Julien is like


He's got a million of 'em

bapu

Old55

bapu


I thought I was well dreaded

That's a lock.  

Pick a lock?

Dread lock.  

Old55

bapu

Old55

bapu


I thought I was well dreaded

That's a lock.  

Pick a lock?

Dread lock.  

Yeah, I got it, I was just playing that quaint likkle fred game... Mighty Lee Moon

My pathetic contribution:

From http://thesaurus.com/browse/pathetic?s=t

pathetic  
Main Entry: pathetic  [puh-thet-ik] Show IPA
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: sad, affecting

Synonyms: commiserable, deplorable, distressing, feeble, heartbreaking, heartrending, inadequate, lamentable, meager, melting, miserable, moving, paltry, petty, piteous, pitiable, pitiful, plaintive, poignant, poor, puny, rueful, sorry*, tender, touching, useless, woeful, worthless, wretched

* = informal/non-formal usage

Example sentences:
Wow the whining by all the nerds on here is sad, pathetic and funny. 

Although it is horrifying, it is also pathetic . 

These encounters are so pathetic and absurd that they suggest-and turn out to presage-the futility of the entire operation. 
 

Sorry, but I have nothing to add.

drewfx1


My pathetic contribution:

From http://thesaurus.com/browse/pathetic?s=t

pathetic  
Main Entry: pathetic  [puh-thet-ik] Show IPA
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: sad, affecting

Synonyms: commiserable, deplorable, distressing, feeble, heartbreaking, heartrending, inadequate, lamentable, meager, melting, miserable, moving, paltry, petty, piteous, pitiable, pitiful, plaintive, poignant, poor, puny, rueful, sorry*, tender, touching, useless, woeful, worthless, wretched

* = informal/non-formal usage

Example sentences:
Wow the whining by all the nerds on here is sad, pathetic and funny. 

Although it is horrifying, it is also pathetic . 

These encounters are so pathetic and absurd that they suggest-and turn out to presage-the futility of the entire operation. 

Sorry, but I have nothing to add.

That's a bunch of pathetic words drewfx1. Fanks.

drewfx1

    ^Coffee House^          ^Bapu^