AnsweredBapu's (and others) random thoughts for the day.

And this one shows that two hours have past without anyone else posting.
 

It clearly shows all of the time, all of the time.

good morning ..
 
I need two of those clocks mounted on a pair of specs :D

Our society is doomed..............

IDIOT SIGHTING

I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00
I said "May I have large bills, please"

She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."
When I got up off the floor I explained it to her....


IDIOT SIGHTING
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton,MS













IDIOT SIGHTING
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
He said, 'NO, it's not..' Four is larger than two.'

We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.
She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.'
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.


IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
-- >From Kansas City



IDIOT SIGHTING
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.


IDIOT SIGHTING
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS


IDIOT SIGHTING
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,'
our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.'
Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.


IDIOT SIGHTING
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff’s office, no less

Did I miss anything in the past 48hrs.?
 
Good Morning all you timekeepers!!

This just in...
 
Top scientists speculate that within the next four years, human intelligence will fall below that of plankton.  Upon further investigation, researchers discovered that this prediction had been made more than a decade ago.  When asked for a comment, a spokesplankter replied, "Just watch your TV and leave us alone."

wow NEW PAGE and ONLY ONE POST
 
has the forum software changed????

nope  spoke too soon
 

Good morning , if it still is.

Nothing at all, we've waiting for you your return.   
 
Everyone have an arse day!  

Good arse day to you as well Jan!
 
Monday, Monday.......intelligence????

Today will begin with an 80% chance of Good.  Early this morning, however, we are seeing a 60% chance of Work blowing in which will downgrade us to only a 20% chance of Okay.  There's an 8:00 AM coffee which should perk things up until that 9:00 meeting.  At that time, there's a 90% chance of Partly Bad.  Beware of Diverted Responsibility Storms throughout the morning.
 
There's a brief respite during the mid day, but absurd deadlines, backstabbing, blame and fingerpointing are expected over the course of the afternoon with an 80% chance of Horrible.  During the evening commute, there is a 5% chance of Not Bad, but road construction may suddenly downgrade to Mind-Blowingly Frustrating.
 
This evening, there is a 10% chance of Awesome, but that Honey-Do front we've been monitoring could move in at any moment.  If there are teenagers, there is a 95% chance of drama.  (Actual values may vary with gender...)
 
Late tonight, there is a 30% chance of Good, with a 5% chance of Night Terrors.
 
Overall, today is expected to be 20% - 40% better than another randomly selected date for which there are no quantifiable metrics. 
 
A statistician is a terrible thing to waste.  At least, they are 30% of the time.

Monday is my Friday, and a 3-day weekend ahead. Hooray!
I might open up SONAR and not record anything worthwhile.
Again.

There's a 5% chance of rain.......but, the FSF will still be underwater.

There is water at the bottom of the ocean.
 
Thanks for explaining, David Byrne.  I'm all scienced up now.

UbiquitousBubba
There is water at the bottom of the ocean.
 
Thanks for explaining, David Byrne.  I'm all scienced up now.

Well, I suppose it only happens once in a lifetime.
 
Anyone wrote a song by the title of "Burning down the FSF"??

Mesh

UbiquitousBubba
There is water at the bottom of the ocean.
 
Thanks for explaining, David Byrne.  I'm all scienced up now.

Well, I suppose it only happens once in a lifetime.
 
Anyone wrote a song by the title of "Burning down the FSF"??

One can only dream ...hope and change ...
 
the roof the roof the roof is on fire we don't need no water the the FSF burn !!!

Better that than "FSF Inferno."
 
I apologize for the results of this post.

musicman100

Mesh

UbiquitousBubba
There is water at the bottom of the ocean.
 
Thanks for explaining, David Byrne.  I'm all scienced up now.

Well, I suppose it only happens once in a lifetime.
 
Anyone wrote a song by the title of "Burning down the FSF"??

One can only dream ...hope and change ...
 
the roof the roof the roof is on fire we don't need no water the the FSF burn !!!

......wow, all these vapor trails is giving me a rush.

UbiquitousBubba
Better that than "FSF Inferno."
 
I apologize for the results of this post.

Is this your weakly apology??

Apologizing has become an automatic response.
 
"Would you like more coffee?"
"I'm sorry I drank the first mug too fast.  I should have sipped slowly for the first hour in order to avoid rushing you."
 
"Are these your eels?"
"I'm sorry.  I thought you wanted a water bed with a built in massage function."
 
"Are you insane?"
"I'm sorry.  I thought I was clear about that."
 
"Do you know how fast you were going?"
"I'm sorry, but if you don't know, then I don't think I should have to tell you."
 
"Are you always this stupid?"
"I'm sorry.  You caught me at one of my more lucid moments.  It probably won't happen again."

I'm sorry.
 
This fred seems to be forever stuck in a post count of 23K.
 
 

bapu
I'm sorry.
 
This fred seems to be forever stuck in a post count of 23K.
 
 

ill be happy to add one to the vapidness....

In the interest of TOS compliance regarding posts which serve no purpose other than to bump a fred or appear to increase post count, this post includes a vague/obscure reference to music and/or a musician.
 
Aldo Nova.
 
You're welcome.

Tiny Tim

Weird Al
 

Lawrence Welk
 

David Lee Roth
 

Jon Anderson
(OK, I'm really sorry about this one) 
 

Mars Bonfire
 

Milli Vanilli
 

The Monkees
 

William Shatner
 

Wow! This FSF is really a thinking man's (bad) dream.
 
Or is it just a fig newton of my imagination........or just a fantasy?

Hey Baps, how did you manage to post soooo many posts in such a short period of time?

Hey!!
I can post....uhm posts in less than the 2 min waiting period too!!
 
But, I don't have anything to say tho.....

+1
 

+2
 

+3
 

+4
 

+5
 

The top DAWG position in post count is now an open field.

After the preceding posts we can no longer say that bapu's posts don't count.

Mesh, have you read the FSF?
 
I'm serious.  Reading the FSF can have any number of side effects.  The delusion that somone must have something to say before posting is a rare one, though.
 
If you are reading it now, stop at once!  If you aren't, then whatever I say here appears rather pointless and pathetic.  In that case, please continue to avoid reading the FSF.
 
Of course, if you read that last bit, you haven't really grasped the concept of not reading the FSF and you may be in a delusional state (such as Nebraska.)  In that case, you may have imagined you read this post.  If so, you may not have read it, and you're okay.
 
(At least, you can continue thinking you are.)
 
(FNORD)

I thought I saw a Leopard change its spots today.  Sadly though it was just an Armadillo posing as a Chameleon.
 
That's the last time I take any notice of him crying wolf.

There is no reason for reading the FSF since Google has already done it.
 
For instance, I googled "fsf arse site:forum.cakewalk.com" and got 3,410 results which represents 1 arse for every 6.7768328445747800586510263929619 posts. 
 
But given all the arses around here I'd expect that number to rise.

Google likes Monkeys.

Jonbouy
Google likes Monkeys.

And kittens too

musicman100
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

Duh.  She forgot to hit the "On" switch.  Simples.

By the way, hamsters are not made of ham.  I accused the guy at the pet store of false advertising and now I'm not allowed inside.  Apparently, they frown on nibbling before buying.
 
 

UbiquitousBubba
By the way, hamsters are not made of ham.  I accused the guy at the pet store of false advertising and now I'm not allowed inside.  Apparently, they frown on nibbling before buying.
 
 

Oh oh....now you did it.......Crigb is gonna post pics.....

Actually, most applicable pics were disgusting so I went with this one instead.
 

craigb
Actually, most applicable pics were disgusting so I went with this one instead.
 

Thank you Craigb. Your thoughtfulness is much appreciated.

UbiquitousBubba
By the way, hamsters are not made of ham.  I accused the guy at the pet store of false advertising and now I'm not allowed inside.  Apparently, they frown on nibbling before buying.
 
 

Maybe Richard Gere wasn't...oh, never mind.

And, just to finish my "time" theme from last night...  I offer the "UbiquitousBubba" line of clocks.  Suitable for the classy time traveler out there.
 

They can't be real clocks.  Where's Mickey Mouse?  I can't tell time without his hands to guide me.  

I don't think I can keep up this conversation with myselves.  
 

Old55
I don't think I can keep up this conversation with myselves.  
 

Of course, you can. It's somewhat of a requirement in the FSF.........
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
just ask the most prolific Fred poster.  
 

Mr Gorbachav
 
TEAR DOWN THIS FSF!!!!!!!