Moving On - a new original song

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daryl1968
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2016/09/14 20:15:08 (permalink)

Moving On - a new original song

Hi folks
Here's a new song about my impending move back to the UK - as you can probably tell I have mixed feelings about it.
(We did the UK to USA migration 10 years ago and it's bloody hard work) 
Anyway, nits and crits welcome.
 
https://soundcloud.com/sk.lueproductions/moving-on
 
Moving on
Written and performed by Staypress
V1
There's a day that I've been waiting for a long long time
...and when it comes along it's enough to blow my mind
I've been thinking about the things I'll miss and the things I won't
I've been thinking about the things I love and the things I don't
Prechorus
I've done this before
It feels like a chore
i'm set in my ways
Got used to my days but I'm still moving
Chorus
Moving on
V2
Packed my bags and my brain checked out a while ago
For sale sign's up and I'm not sure I want to go
Prechorus
Chorus
Middle bit
I've just got used to everyone on my street
My neighbour clears my snow
Nicer people you couldn't wish to meet
I'm really sad to go - I'm still.....
Chorus to end
 
 
#1

91 Replies Related Threads

    bapu
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    Re: Moving On - a new original song 2016/09/14 23:13:22 (permalink)
    That the lubbliest, jubbliest and bubbliest choon of yers yet mate.
     
    Too bad about the bass, though. 
    #2
    dcumpian
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    Re: Moving On - a new original song 2016/09/15 08:37:59 (permalink)
    Daryl, this really is a fantastic tune and mix. The mix supports the song incredibly well. Very detailed arrangement as well, with lots of "bling" that add weight to the song. Great job on this!
     
    Regards,
    Dan
     

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    #3
    philz
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    Re: Moving On - a new original song 2016/09/15 09:42:00 (permalink)
    Terrific little tune there, Daryl.  It just fits the mood so, so well.  Sparkling production work as usual.
    #4
    Wookiee
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    Re: Moving On - a new original song 2016/09/15 13:37:27 (permalink)
    All what they said, very nice Daryl



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    #5
    eph221
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    Re: Moving On - a new original song 2016/09/15 13:50:02 (permalink)
    that
    #6
    Jesse Screed
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    Re: Moving On - a new original song 2016/09/15 14:32:24 (permalink)
    happy feelings
     
    mega ditto to what everyone else said.
     
    Jesse Q. Screed
    #7
    bapu
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    Re: Moving On - a new original song 2016/09/15 16:09:59 (permalink)
    I reay like my voice on this huan.
    #8
    daryl1968
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    Re: Moving On - a new original song 2016/09/15 19:47:52 (permalink)
    bapu
    That the lubbliest, jubbliest and bubbliest choon of yers yet mate.
     
    Too bad about the bass, though. 


    Thanks mate.
    Sorry about that, I couldn't afford your fee this time.
    #9
    emeraldsoul
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    Re: Moving On - a new original song 2016/09/15 20:29:01 (permalink)
    I bet Einstein would have liked this when he left.
     
    Really cool all the way through! Dan summed it up nicely.
     
    I'd vote for a fade out ending.
     
     
    -Tom
    post edited by emeraldsoul - 2016/09/15 20:51:29

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    #10
    Mesh
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    Re: Moving On - a new original song 2016/09/15 21:13:55 (permalink)
    Absolutely wonderful song, lyrics and mix mate!! It translated really well on headphones as well as my monitors (my little girl enjoyed dancing to this......2x). The Bass was very pleasant and prominent on this one......nice!!! Bapu just knows the right amount needed.......just fabulous!! 

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    jmasno5
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    Re: Moving On - a new original song 2016/09/15 21:48:39 (permalink)
    As always, nice job, Daryl!  Sorry about the exit and into the Brexit but I hope you continue to be nearby in the forum.  Ugh!  Setting up a studio in a new room.  Days, weeks, months, before you get use to the sound (unless you mix on headphones)  you'll be needing us to tweak your tunes:)
    post edited by jmasno5 - 2016/09/15 22:10:15

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    synkrotron
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    Re: Moving On - a new original song 2016/09/16 08:06:49 (permalink)
    Hi Daryl,
     
    Another great little original ditty from the Staypress camp
     
    cheers
     
    andy

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    jamesg1213
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    Re: Moving On - a new original song 2016/09/16 08:32:30 (permalink)
    Excellent song Daryl, perfect slice of pop. Why are you coming back, if that's not a difficult question to answer on a forum?

     
    Jyemz
     
     
     



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    Walt Collins
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    Re: Moving On - a new original song 2016/09/16 11:05:34 (permalink)
    Great pop song, perfect execution, brilliant mix, as always!
     
    Sorry to hear you're leaving though... we've been traveling through western NY lately on the way to Erie PA, and thought we might catch you and the Mrs. for a drink or a bite at some point.  Oh well!

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    #15
    Unknowen
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    Re: Moving On - a new original song 2016/09/16 13:05:14 (permalink)
    I listened to many of your songs earlier this morning and a couple weeks ago.  Rocky poppy, rock... with a twist of Wanka....
    Your style is Really Cool!
     
    I'm kind of staying away from the "mix critic thing"... :)
     
    Peace!

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    #16
    daryl1968
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    Re: Moving On - a new original song 2016/09/16 15:29:58 (permalink)
    dcumpian
    Daryl, this really is a fantastic tune and mix. The mix supports the song incredibly well. Very detailed arrangement as well, with lots of "bling" that add weight to the song. Great job on this!
     
    Regards,
    Dan
     


    Thanks so much Dan my mate.
    #17
    yorolpal
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    Re: Moving On - a new original song 2016/09/16 16:20:21 (permalink)
    I just about love your sound near to death.  It picks me up when I'm down.  Turns my frown upside down. Heck I'm happy as a clown...over the moon, after hearing one of your tunes.  Keep em coming.  And don't go writing anything macabre, depressing or cringe inducing.  That's my job:-)
    post edited by yorolpal - 2016/09/16 23:31:29

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    jamesyoyo
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    Re: Moving On - a new original song 2016/09/16 16:35:52 (permalink)
    +1 to the happy
     
    we'll miss you here in NY, but UK is much cooler than Rochester!
    #19
    daryl1968
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    Re: Moving On - a new original song 2016/09/16 17:47:56 (permalink)
    philz
    Terrific little tune there, Daryl.  It just fits the mood so, so well.  Sparkling production work as usual.




    Cheers mate - very kind of you :)
    #20
    daryl1968
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    Re: Moving On - a new original song 2016/09/17 08:44:55 (permalink)
    Wookiee
    All what they said, very nice Daryl




    Thank you Wookster
    #21
    mgh
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    Re: Moving On - a new original song 2016/09/17 17:40:32 (permalink)
    Great stuff. is it wrong that I have kids TV in my head for the chorus - Roobard and Custard, Grange Hill?!

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    Cookie Jarvis
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    Re: Moving On - a new original song 2016/09/17 22:00:38 (permalink)
    Well done...congratulations and condolences at the same time( on the move that is  )!
     
    Bill

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    Larry Jones
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    Re: Moving On - a new original song 2016/09/17 23:26:43 (permalink)
    Bittersweet, emphasis on sweet! (Perfect mix, too.)

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    daryl1968
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    Re: Moving On - a new original song 2016/09/18 18:52:08 (permalink)
    eph221
    that


    This?
    #25
    daryl1968
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    Re: Moving On - a new original song 2016/09/19 13:02:52 (permalink)
    Jesse Screed
    happy feelings
     
    mega ditto to what everyone else said.
     
    Jesse Q. Screed


    Thanks Jesse
    #26
    Jesse Screed
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    Re: Moving On - a new original song 2016/09/19 14:42:18 (permalink)
    I still can't believe how much you sound like Aberfeldy.  I know that it is not always good to compare people to others, but you really do, and I mean that as a compliment.  I wish I could write and produce music this happy, clean, and polished.
     
    again,
     
    Jesse Q. Screed
    #27
    daryl1968
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    Re: Moving On - a new original song 2016/09/20 07:16:50 (permalink)
    bapu
    I reay like my voice on this huan.


    You did a great job on it little feller
    #28
    bitflipper
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    Re: Moving On - a new original song 2016/09/20 08:24:57 (permalink)
    I've finally got my studio back together after a four-month hiatus. Yesterday the last piece arrived: my new Emovita Stealth 8 reference monitors. I've spent most of the night listening to my favorite records on them to become familiar with their sound. Much to my delight, because they are extraordinarily flat and grossly overpowered they simply don't impose any color of their own. Consequently, all of my usual references sound spectacularly good.
     
    Why am I telling you this? Because this morning I decided to turn to the Songs forum for new material to run through these amazing speakers, and Moving On was my first selection. I just had to share this observation: your production sounds every bit as good as the quality commercial mixes I've been listening to all these hours. Spectral balance, clarity, punch, panoramic cohesion, expertly sandwiched reverb - all outstanding. (Point of reference: immediately before listening to this, I'd just finished Alison Krauss' New Favorite, one of the best-made records in my reference collection.)
     
    Whatever you're doing, keep doing it. Hope you manage an equally good recording environment after your move. Don't forget to double-check all your voltage settings before turning anything on!


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    #29
    thedukewestern
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    Re: Moving On - a new original song 2016/09/20 12:26:54 (permalink)
    That's great!
     
    My only "corrective" critique is in the vocal treatment....   there's a slight touch of .. and I mean just a touch...of presence in the lead vocal that could come off as harsh on some systems.  I'm gonna guesstamate  2.5 to 5 k - somewhere in there.  I wouldn't cut it because its really appropriate - I would search for a multiband solution to pull those back when they pop out - and then in turn get a db or 2 more in lead vocal level so all your perfect the lyrics are totally audible! 
     
    for example - say your song gets in a movie - and we watch it on our flatscreen with crappy speakers... that tend to be very harsh - it will really accentuate this area.. firing sibilance into any innocent bystander within earshot
     
    A "creative" critique in the vocal would be to add a dash of pre-delayed verb around the lead vocal as its a little dry ... which.. I do like... but occasionally its slightly uncomfortable...    Also - those amazing background vocals... I would look into treating some of the passages differently than the lead vocal as your perfect song progresses.
     
    For example:  There's a a harmony vocal in your verse, I think it blends very well.  Then - at 46 seconds, there a minor key change and there's a different snare sound that's got less high end and a really cool verb trail - I would attempt to change the harmony vocal somehow at this point  to tell the listener even further that the journey is "moving on"... and then the chorus (55 seconds) I would open up the harmony vocals even further.  Sometimes when I track vocals, Ill wind up with 3 or four tracks that contain everything.. leads and harmonies.  Then - Ill go through and distribute the vocals to different tracks via the song structure.. say "ramp bgv".. "chorus bgv"  or at 2:23 "I'm Still" -  Id try to do something cool with that.
     
    I think its an awesome song!!  Great job!

    Be the first one who thinks that you can
     
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