I want one of those!

ORIGINAL: PTV



my my this is a long one

Yeah, it is Paul.

Mind you, in all fairness it stays pretty much on topic for about 98% of the posts - we let our hair down and talk about GT in the other 2% though!

To whom should the honour fall to start the next long one though Doc?


And how will we know it's going to be a long one?





Until it is.....?

ORIGINAL: Doc_Hollingsworth

Strummy,

I hearby nominate Bill to start the next rambling thread. Or we can just keep this one going till it hits a thousand!?

We could use this with a few different ideas [change Montezuma for Bill e.g.]:

ORIGINAL: SteveStrummerUK

I refer to this idea from the honourable Forum Physician:

ORIGINAL: DRHollingsworth

I think it would be entertaining to get us all online here after a few beers, bourbon, whatever the desired poison. Even Pete.

As I've mentioned before Doc - this is a great idea, but an idea I thought impractical because of the fact that we all live across the globe in different time zones.

Arranging a time when, FOR EXAMPLE, you stateside chaps, Montezuma down in Oz, me and James over here and, not to forget, of course, our eastern European peddler of fine guitars are all gathered around our crystal sets might prove a problem.

However Doc - and as you would have expected - I have solved this problem and in doing so will make both Petey and me billionaires and earn me yet another Nobel Prize in Physics. Incidentally, I have still heard nothing from the Prize Committee regarding my theories concerning the 'Only' Law of Thermodynamics.

Anyway, I intend to exploit the very scourge of our forum – latency – it will become our passport to worldwide fame and have your Microsofts and Apples running for their respective cheque books. before you can shake a stick at it.

First, I will need Pete to describe and demonstrate, in detail, his appalling and atrociously bad recording techniques using his PC system, or more importantly, its Realtek AC97 sound chip, in conjunction with GT3.

This little fellow will be the start of something big:



Once we get Pete recording, we start opening, one by one, all the other programs on his PC – I should imagine all those Sesame Street downloads, the ‘How to chew gum and walk at the same time for Dummies’, ‘Build your own forum and then be your own troll’ software and the permanent internet link to the Guinness book of World Records' ‘Most uses of the word Defragment in a single thread’ department should start eating up the CPU resources pretty quick.

As the rapidly increasing latency begins to go into meltdown, the Doc will step in with his probes and begin to fully analyze Pete’s system to gather the data to build a ‘Maximum Latency’ software model.

Once completed, forum members wishing to join in a pleasant evening’s banter should contact us directly to download as many copies of the Latency Increasing Modelling (Pete, With Realtek, Initially Started) Transducer, or LIMPWRIST for short, as they will require. The LIMPWRIST is formatted and downloaded in 1 hours latency per download units and is easily loaded in to the ‘virtual’ path of the internet signal in your PC.

This is the clever bit, so let me explain – if, for example, we all wish to converse at 8pm in our own local time we simply have to work out which one of us, on the day decided on, actually gets to 8pm first. Then the rest of us simply work out how many hours later our own local time 8pm will occur.

As an example, if our good friend Montezuma wants to join in, he, in Oz will be the first to reach 8pm so he will require zero downloads of the LIMPWRIST software.

Those of us in the UK, approximately 11 hours behind, will require 11 downloads of the LIMPWRIST, or ,more accurately – 11 Modem Undermining Gadgets, or MUGS for short. At the moment, the technology hasn’t advanced far enough to select your LIMPWRISTs in times shorter than one whole hour so for the near future we will be using complete MUGS.

Those from Americana will need accordingly more MUGS to realign your 8pm Forum Assimilation Transmission, or FAT for short.

There is, of course, one area of the USA that will need no FAT MUGS – the area around Pete’s hometown, where the aftershock and fallout of the Latency Orchestrated Blast Ordinance Nucleation, or LOB-ON for short – the area where the initial latency bomb went into Critical Unstable Mass [this is a horrifyingly premature case of CUM arising from an over-sensitive LOB-ON]

Due to an Anomaly In Realtek’s Human Experiment Abnormality Drive, or AIR-HEAD for short – the surrounding area has suffered a catastrophic incident of Super Latent Overload Backslide [SLOB] and has been chronologically returned to prehistory – it is currently ruled over by a rather belligerent Tyrannosaurus Rex called Nigel whose interest in software recording is small enough for him not to want join in the evening anyway.

Once 8pm arrives in Oz, all participants activate the MUGS installed and Montezuma has the honour of beginning the discussion. As all messages are ****ed and are ****ed by the optimum number of LIMPWRIST enabled MUGS once the FAT kicks in, the conversation should proceed smoothly and, even more satisfying, in a Real [Realtek Enabled Assisted Latency] time situation.

I look forward to receiving monetary interest and sponsorship in order to advance this project past the Planning Implementation Set-up Stages [or PISS, for short]

All donations, preferably in Latvian currency or LATS [this really is true!!], or Latency Assisted Trillionaire Strummy] should be wired directly to my account at the Bank Of Latency Legal Offices – Central Keepsafe Strongroom

Many thanks for your attention – I’ll speak to you all again last Thursday.

Stev e

Strummy,

You are lagging behind my friend. as of this post we have 71 posts to go. Now to bring back the relevant topic. I just saw the Dr. Who episode where the Dalek says "Elevate" or was it "levitate", and comes up the stairs. I read that the sound effects for the Tardis has been the same original sounds that were made back in 1963 by the BBC Radiophonic Workshop. Even Star Trek can't make such a claim!

Actually it was quite the lab of horrors. Some twit doctor at the BBC stated that it would be detrimental to the health of those working there to be employed in such an environment for more than 3 months at a shot. They had to beg, borrow and steal some of the equipment they had and did quite a bit of splicing.

By some of the pictures I have seen some of them were long haired "artists" rather than lab coats.

More like, It's an ocilator, it's an ocilator!

Strummy you're not supposed to drink wood alcohol. It's not good for you!

BM (Before Metallica)

No that would be these guys....

Well ofcourse. We are in an international, English speaking internet world!

Well I wasn't going to say that. It wouldn't have been politically correct for my colonist brethren. But since you mention it.....

On a side note,
3

Made it - now why are we all here?