space_cowboy
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The Punchline Thread
No jokes Just the punchlines. My contributions For transporting young gulls across state lions for immortal porpoises. Silly Rabbi, Kicks are for trids. Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes? Why the long face? No, I'm a frayed knot. What do you think I am, a radio? I don't think I can do that 68 more times. You?
post edited by space_cowboy - 2009/05/09 19:18:07
Some people call me Maurice SPLAT Pro lifetime, ADK 6 core 3.6Ghz with 32 GB RAM, SSD 1TB system drive, 3 3TB regular drives for samples, recordings and misc. Behringer X Touch, UAD Apollo Quad. 2 UAD2 Quads PCI (i think - inside the box whatever that is), Console 1. More guitars (40??) and synths (hard and soft) than talent. Zendrum!!!
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marcos69
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RE: The Punchline Thread
2009/05/09 19:18:53
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...and so she says, "might as well, the rooms already paid for!"
...we did doc, mouse saw the cheese, cat saw the mouse...now we have a whole new ballgame.
...well son, if you can't stand to lose you shouldn't be betting.
...my brotha thinks I'm tho thupid. When he thays "hey there's a horth in the baftub", I'll thay,"yeah I know".
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SteveStrummerUK
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RE: The Punchline Thread
2009/05/09 19:25:18
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"I'm Thor too but leth do it again" "To get to the other side" "So he gives her one" "But doesn't his suit fit him well" "If I fall out of the tree, shoot the dog" ORIGINAL: space_cowboy
No, I'm a frayed knot.
Oi - that's been done tonight mush, I have the pictures to prove it 
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Jonbouy
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RE: The Punchline Thread
2009/05/09 19:27:58
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She's wet and windy when she comes and when she's gone she's taken the car and the house.
"We can't do anything to change the world until capitalism crumbles. In the meantime we should all go shopping to console ourselves" - Banksy
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SteveStrummerUK
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RE: The Punchline Thread
2009/05/09 19:31:13
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"I just want a big enough dose to stop him pissing on his slippers"
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AndyW
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RE: The Punchline Thread
2009/05/09 19:36:11
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Well what did you think I asked for, a 12 inch pianist? Superman sure is a mean drunk. But she doesn't realize she won't live past tomorrow. Easy for you to say...YOU don't have to get up in the morning! "Sweet Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there, too!" So basically, it was just like California today except the women had real breasts and men didn't hold hands. "No, I'm your son's math teacher." Is this something I can fix myself or do I need to take it to a technician? And someone else answered "I don't know his name, but he is a dead ringer for his brother". ***** I just realized a lot of my joke collection is fairly risque... 
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Jessie Sammler
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RE: The Punchline Thread
2009/05/09 19:39:30
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"I wouldn't listen to him. That horse doesn't know anything about cars."
"Hey, pal, let the lady finish the anthem, okay?"
"Sure I'm fine; that's why I wear a breakaway weightlifting suit."
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SteveStrummerUK
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RE: The Punchline Thread
2009/05/09 19:41:12
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US President George W Bush immediately stated that this was clear and overwhelming evidence that Iraq did indeed possess weapons of maths instruction
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bapu
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RE: The Punchline Thread
2009/05/09 19:55:15
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What's the difference between a duck?
Uh oh. I messed up. That was actually the joke and the punchline.
Seriously, that was a joke a guy told me once.
Hilarious.
Well, you had to have been there.
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marcos69
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RE: The Punchline Thread
2009/05/09 20:04:15
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...and the bartender says, "what is this, some kind of joke?"
...your kinda mouthy for someone who can't fly.
...remember the Alamo!
...I'd have 5 apples and a dead friend.
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SteveStrummerUK
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RE: The Punchline Thread
2009/05/09 20:07:40
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So the doctor hands him the needle and says, "Suture self."
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Randy P
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RE: The Punchline Thread
2009/05/09 20:21:33
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I thought you'd be tougher than that Batman.
Thats what she said just before the bed broke.
Wood eye, wood eye!
Hot? No, it just doesn't take me long to look at a horseshoe.
That's not my finger.
and my all time favorite.
Watchin porn and eatin Cheetos!
http://www.soundclick.com/riprorenband
The music biz is a cruel and shallow money trench,a plastic hallway where thieves & pimps run free and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side. Hunter S. Thompson
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marcos69
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RE: The Punchline Thread
2009/05/09 20:22:19
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...And the doctor says "no, I'm mad at my neighbor.
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SteveStrummerUK
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RE: The Punchline Thread
2009/05/09 20:33:33
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slartabartfast
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RE: The Punchline Thread
2009/05/09 21:07:34
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No..not need to do that. Fall off by self.
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yorolpal
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RE: The Punchline Thread
2009/05/09 21:29:19
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yorolpal
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RE: The Punchline Thread
2009/05/09 21:31:24
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yorolpal
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RE: The Punchline Thread
2009/05/09 21:33:31
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jinga8
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RE: The Punchline Thread
2009/05/09 21:35:42
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That's what they said on the Sonar Forum... Then you haven't been to the Coffee House lately, buddy... Not if you posted it on the Project5 forum, mate! Well, be that as it may, its not like this is the Songs forum, doc! A goat? I was under the impression it was the V-Studio 700 forum!!! 
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RobertB
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RE: The Punchline Thread
2009/05/09 23:21:29
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And the sadist said, "No".
The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
There are more geese on that side.
My Soundclick Page SONAR Professional, X3eStudio,W7 64bit, AMD Athlon IIx4 2.8Ghz, 4GB RAM, 64bit, AKAI EIE Pro, Nektar Impact LX61,Alesis DM6,Alesis ControlPad,Yamaha MG10/2,Alesis M1Mk2 monitors,Samson Servo300,assorted guitars,Lava Lamp Shimozu-Kushiari or Bob
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space_cowboy
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RE: The Punchline Thread
2009/05/09 23:26:29
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ORIGINAL: yorolpal
The Aristocrats!!
Good one my ol pal! Running down my leg I thought I'd never get that taste out of my mouth Man these nails just wont dry Welcome to Jamaica Have A Nice Day Got you now matey Off to the constable with ya. I'll keep an eye out for you. Chickens, wooo!
Some people call me Maurice SPLAT Pro lifetime, ADK 6 core 3.6Ghz with 32 GB RAM, SSD 1TB system drive, 3 3TB regular drives for samples, recordings and misc. Behringer X Touch, UAD Apollo Quad. 2 UAD2 Quads PCI (i think - inside the box whatever that is), Console 1. More guitars (40??) and synths (hard and soft) than talent. Zendrum!!!
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Oaf_Topik
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RE: The Punchline Thread
2009/05/09 23:32:24
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...that was a great boat ride, but I thought they fixed that with the 8.31 update...
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space_cowboy
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RE: The Punchline Thread
2009/05/09 23:33:16
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789
I like the ones with the gooey centers
They circle Uranus and wipe out Klingons
Move over, I have to gargle.
The third one fainted
A Mortar Forker
Orange you glad I didnt say banana?
Recked up? Darned near killed'em.
Some people call me Maurice SPLAT Pro lifetime, ADK 6 core 3.6Ghz with 32 GB RAM, SSD 1TB system drive, 3 3TB regular drives for samples, recordings and misc. Behringer X Touch, UAD Apollo Quad. 2 UAD2 Quads PCI (i think - inside the box whatever that is), Console 1. More guitars (40??) and synths (hard and soft) than talent. Zendrum!!!
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drumstixkev
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RE: The Punchline Thread
2009/05/09 23:40:05
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Watch out for the hole in the ice!
Know it, I wrote it!
He said give him your underpants!
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bitflipper
01100010 01101001 01110100 01100110 01101100 01101
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RE: The Punchline Thread
2009/05/10 00:46:44
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Denephew. Got any fish? Some people just can't tell a joke. Britney Spears.
post edited by bitflipper - 2009/05/10 00:56:55
 All else is in doubt, so this is the truth I cling to. My Stuff
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mumpcake
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RE: The Punchline Thread
2009/05/10 00:47:37
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Oh, no, not another breathalyzer.
Duh, big red truck!
It had to be a tragedy because it was no big loss and definitely no accident.
That's what I've been telling you, there's no f--- in broccoli!
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Jessie Sammler
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RE: The Punchline Thread
2009/05/10 01:22:01
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She's only wearing one sock.
It was his aunt's estrogen cream.
The farmer looks at him and says, "I already told ya, buddy, I got three daughters."
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savageopera
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RE: The Punchline Thread
2009/05/10 02:12:52
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Then someone knocked on the door and she tried to kick it under the bed.
Sonar Artist, HP Laptop, AMD A8700 , 1T+250g, M-Audio Fast Track Ultra ,Roland 88 Hammer action, Roland AX-1, M-audio 88es, Arturia minilabII......When I was young I wanted to become a mad scientist. I achieved everything except the "scientist" part.... http://www.soundclick.com/savageopera
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keith
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RE: The Punchline Thread
2009/05/10 03:00:36
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That appears to be the backstroke, sir.
I said <censored>, not wreck my election!!! (from an old Gary Hart joke)
The tattoo read "Joe's Bar and Grill in Albuquerque, New Mexico"!
And of course: Because 7 ate 9!
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keith
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RE: The Punchline Thread
2009/05/10 03:24:27
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Not really a punchline, but a George Carlin classic: Do you realize that somewhere in the world is the world's worst doctor? And somebody has an appointment with him tomorrow?! 
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