Think before you post.

+1.....


 oh wait... 

"start a reasoned dialog" here? 

nah... forget it. 

TBH....:


I think most posters upstairs have been jerks irritating lately.

Not just the ones who seem to piss everyone else off.


Just saying...

It's probably the winter coming

I agree oops

+1

Mike it seems as if some were trying to say to you stay in the Coffee House like you shouldnt formulate an opinion upstairs. So basically once your in the Coffee House your in the Coffee house bound never to leave again unless your opinions are the same as those that inherently run the forums upstairs.

Stark reality of when you let the people take control

Well..one mistake I made was when one of the John's...I forget who now..started in on the 'winning vs losing' thing...he just seemed to pile on the enemy imagery something fierce...and I just asked why that imagery needed to be used...

I've generally tried to not upgrade until it had gone a couple of stages..why?

Because, in my experience, I usually got clobbered with all kinds of bugs right from the get go...and not just here...

mike_mccue


I think it's important to work towards self discipline by giving careful consideration of whether you actually want to be hurtful when you post a comment. I think that this may introduce opportunity for people to recognize something they may not wish to foster within their own personality. The first step is acknowledgment. 

Well, as usual, I got a novel here Mike. Some of it pertains to what you're talking about, some of it pertains to things related to the feelings that surround forums, the net and real life as well. I think you said it all above, but I'll give you my take for what it's worth. I've learned a few things from being on this forum for so long. The first thing is, anyone that is well liked, credible or respected around here...usually doesn't insult a soul FIRST. They may retaliate if they get insulted but I can't recall a time where I've seen someone I hold in high regard insult someone first or mouth off for the sake of being sarcastic.
 
*MOST* of the ones that insult others:
 
a. Like the entertainment factor of upsetting others and consider this just text on a screen that is meaningless.
 
b. Have never shared their music on here and choose to remain anonymous with their music to make you think they are better than they are while they share their infinte wisdom and take turns insulting the entire community.
 
c. Have shared their music on here and it usually sucks, they know this and are jealous of others.
 
d. Would never in a million years say the crap they say on here to a person's face.
 
e. Are depressed with their own lives, have failed in their lives...they might as well fail here too and take down the spirits of as many good people as possible.
 
You'll notice not one well-liked, constant helper or talented individual fits any of the above. None of them. They may get involved in a confrontation from time to time because they are targeted or someone else draws first blood, but you'll never see these people just go off on someone or insult them for no reason.
 
So the fix for it all? Consider the source that's insulting as well as his/her followers that add +1's etc. Most of them have nothing to offer here other than insults to others anyway. For example, lets just say, there is a fictitious guy on here that is extremely helpful at times and knows Sonar pretty well, but is also a complete Richard Cranium and lacks people skills. He'll save your butt in one post and rip you to shreds in another if someone poo'd in his Cheerios or it's his time of month.
 
I'd be willing to bet this fictitious guy I mentioned as "Richard"....everyone on this forum could come up with a name for. Some of us would have the same name listed, others would have their version of "Richard C". He's that obvious guy you're thinking about right now as you read this. And I'm also sure the Cake staff/mods are aware of him. Why they let him/them continue is beyond me. These people have definitely made this place more of a mess since they came and you can find them in a confrontation with someone at least once per week.
 
What we should do about people like that? Report the posts to the mods as a group. There are about 5 members on here that I have no time for that seem to take turns insulting people. When I see their posts, I don't even read them anymore because if I do, I'll definitely get involved and all hell will break loose. I'm thankful they stay away from my posts as well....so they must not like me and they must know I don't particularly care for them. Fine with me. :) But, we should make a pact to report any offensive or insulting posts to the mods. If they get enough majority complaints about this stuff, I'm sure they'll do something about it.

So to me, the first step is to remove these offenders from the site. They won't acknowledge anything or listen to your kind advice and they are most likely here for the entertainment of hurting others anyway. They shouldn't ruin it for you or anyone else. But if no one files complaints, and a mod doesn't see it, they'll go on antagonizing people.
 
Here's another thing to consider, Mike. Some people use this forum as an extended social life. Meaning, when they post, it's not just text on a screen...it's a part of their lives. That sounds really deep for a forum, I know. But I say that because I'm one of those people. I work so much, I don't have time for much socializing. So I hang on this forum, my forum and a few others. It's the only place for guys like me that work insane hours to be. I truly hope to help others with my experiences, not cause confrontations. I put my heart and soul into all the stuff I type because I want to make sure what I'm sharing is clear and in a language anyone can understand. And, I also hope that my text gives people an idea of who and what I am as it's all we have here. I'm passionate about the things I write about and I'm passionate about helping others and making friends. To me, this is part of my life and I don't have any regrets or ill will in saying that. I've met some incredible people on here that have become better friends to me than those I've known in the flesh for years. That says a lot about "text on a screen".
 
Some have become friends, some have become best friends, some have become clients, some have become all of the above. All from "text on a screen that no one should take seriously" according to a few. Those that may be like me are going to be a bit more sensitive and offended a bit more easily because this is something that has become important to us. To the trouble makers...it's words...when the pc shuts down, the words go away, there are no human beings behind the text...it's just a forum. See, I can't and never will see it that way. I wish I could....I'd sleep a lot better at night...but, forums such as this as well as the people on them, have become part of my family and I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way. Some people have thick skin and let things roll off...others have less of a threshold for dealing with confrontation and do what they feel they need to do.
 
One other thing before I shut up...lol. I've learned in life that one of the worst things for me to handle is to allow someone to make me angry to where I turn and walk away, and then take my frustration out on someone I love that doesn't deserve it. Granted, it's much safer to go off on a loved one and then say your sorry for a few days and kiss up than it is not taking any crap from others and fighting back all the time. However, sometimes we are affected so bad by something (yes, even on a forum) you can take it out on a loved one and words can scar for life. I made up my mind that this will not happen to me anymore. If someone is going to go out of their way to upset me, that person will have to deal with my wrath in any way I see fit. They need to know they upset me and they either apologize, or we sort it out. Stuff like that bothers me that much man...yes, it's sickening and a flaw in my character, but I can't help how I feel. I tried the whole "live as Jesus does" thing with turning the other cheek. I really tried hard man. What I found out was....well, I'm not Jesus nor do I have His power, intelligence and strength to walk away from the dark side. Maybe someday, but not now.
 
I found myself bottling up frustration to the point of depression, sadness, anger and one day, that bottle explodes and then you are totally out of control because of everything all pent up that you pushed to the back of your mind that really never was solved or sorted out. This can make you a very different person. I'd rather blow off steam to some piece of crap that has gotten away with it with others who won't get away with it with me than take it out on someone I love with all my heart. Yeah, you gotta pick your battles at all times....even here on the forum, but there are people that are left to troll here that shouldn't even be allowed on this forum. We shouldn't have to "deal with them" or be put in a position to where they upset us. They just shouldn't be here.
 
Disclaimer: If anyone feels I'm insinuating that the above refers to "them", if the shoe fits...wear it with pride and put me on ignore. If you read into this enough to where you think "I wonder if he means me", you ARE a problem person and since you obviously know it to have thought about yourself in this situation, how about doing something about it...like trying to be a bit more human and treating others a bit more kind? There's no reason to be a "Richard Cranium". :)
 
-Danny

+1
I am not Richard am I?  I try to just be playful.  No harm ever intended.  

space_cowboy


+1
I am not Richard am I?  I try to just be playful.  No harm ever intended.  

I thought you were Ricky Ricardo.

If Bapu though before he posted.... what fun would there be in that?  

The number of new threads would diminish significantly  


and he'd likely be a "Bronze"  member ... not that post count matters

bapu


And some may think Danny is just another guitar slinger.

Yeah, all kidding aside, this forum is a big part of my life (+1's and all). I've met some truely wonderful people here. You all know who you are so I won't blow smoke up yer tailpipe. But I will say that even McQ makes me laugh.

You have a life?  

Things will never change until we all stop hiding behind the anonymity of the internet;
 
We do not know the person on the other end, so anything we say is ok.
 
I don't read this forum frequently so I could be wrong here, but it seems to me some of the people that complain most about the civility or lack there of, are in fact some of the worst offenders.
 
I won't mention names, but one well known forum member told me to 'get out of the country', for my anti-war beliefs. (I wonder if that would have been said if he knew I have two purple hearts fighting for this country)
 
We have to understand that words hurt; and if Jon's post of last night was an indication, people are truly impacted by what we say on this forum.
 
I hope we all keep this in mind.

space_cowboy

bapu


And some may think Danny is just another guitar slinger.

Yeah, all kidding aside, this forum is a big part of my life (+1's and all). I've met some truely wonderful people here. You all know who you are so I won't blow smoke up yer tailpipe. But I will say that even McQ makes me laugh.

You have a life?  

Yes
No
Maybe


I'll get back to you on that.

tom1

I won't mention names, but one well known forum member told me to 'get out of the country', for my anti-war beliefs.

Who was it!? I'll report him for you!

Mesh

Bapu's views on post count ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 
Bub:
Who was it!? I'll report him for you!
 
 
:)  
I've been anti-war since 1969; my own family members have told me to leave the country.