Bub



You are judgmental. You're not as nice as you think you are. This forum doesn't need you to survive. It will go on long after you're gone.

There's no truer saying Bub, than 'actions speak louder than words'. It's easy to sit and type your opinions about someone, but Reece's actions, on and off this forum, speak for themselves.

'Nice' doesn't come into it. Reece walks the walk.

James

Ok.  So, in summary, we're judgemental folk who, by virtue of our humanity, fail to live up to the standards of others in a public forum.  Fair enough.

I'm an opinionated person.  I like who and what I like and I don't like who and what I don't like.  No apologies for that.  If I don't agree with someone, I can respect them and disagree.  If I don't like them for whatever reason, I can ignore them.  If necessary, I can block them.  (I'm sure that some have blocked me, and I'm okay with that.)

If someone fails to live up to my idea of who or what I think they should be, I have to ask myself if the problem lies in my perception or in their character.  I do believe that people act and speak according to their character (good and bad).  Most of the time, the problem is that someone's character is different from what I had thought it was.

As long as humans are allowed to interact in a public venue, there will be problems.  We carry our disease with us wherever we go.  Some things, we can overlook for a time.  Sometimes, there's one little thing that tips the scale too far, and we react.  Sometimes, we perceive an insult or injustice against another person and we step in (even if we were not directly involved) to attempt to defend that person.

In these forums, there have been some very unkind, harsh, and mean-spirited things said about some very good natured people.  Those who have been recipients of some of these attacks are understandably wary of a repeat performance.  It's understandable that those who did not witness the ugliness may not fully appreciate the reasons why someone might have their guard up.  In the Coffee House, it may seem like all is nonsense and lighthearted fun, but that's because a number of folks have decided that they're going to try to build a place where we can get past some of these differences. 

I don't think that anyone is trying to put someone up on a pedestal here.  I'm not saying anyone here is perfect, even if they play an Am perfectly.  That being said, there are a lot of folks here I like a great deal, even though I have never met them (and probably never will).  I respect many people here on this forum and I value their opinions, even (especially) when they differ from mine.  Whether or not I agree with them in every post, I think of several of them as friends.

While I would like for everyone here to have fun and get along, I know that we won't.  Human nature being what it is, we are predisposed to conflict.  I would like to think that each of us will choose to overlook some of the little things and continue to build our community.  I would like to think that we would choose to accept one another as we are rather than as we initially perceived each other to be.  Maybe we will someday.  I hope so.

For the record my intentions were never meant to attempt to bring Beagle down to size, expose him or anything of that nature. I simply don't like the comment and I reacted and of course ,subsequently responded in defense. I'm far from perfect myself and do not look for jousting matches out here.  Aside from life's responsibilities I'm a very easy going carefree person. I really think there is a lot of unnecessary drama out here at times but sometimes I forget that some things I think are trivial may be important to another and when reminded I'm pretty rational and respectful.

 

mike_mccue


+1 to bubba... he's good people too.

+2 to Mike McCue he's an elitist good people, two.

Bapu, you're making me hungry.  Really.

SteveStrummerUK

Bub

Beagle

you know rhyno, I'm over it.  I'm tired of defending my words when I have no reason to have to defend them to you.  You think I should be "smarter than that."  well, I hope this post leaves me at the standard you have set for me.

I think I am the one who needs a break from the forum because I can't seem to say anything right lately for other people's expectations.

have a good day.

EDIT:  one last thing, rhyno, where were you and your standards when a lot of people in the coffee house were jumping on the "bash 10Ten" thread?  or am I the only one you have a "standards" problem with?

Hi Reece,

I've been reading these posts here the last few days but not saying anything. My internet service is toast again for the moment and it takes a good minute for each page to load. It's maddening. Seems to be better today so I wanted to chime in on this.

I don't know how to put this politically correct, so I'm just going to blurt it out ...

You are judgmental. You're not as nice as you think you are. This forum doesn't need you to survive. It will go on long after you're gone.

And guess what  ... that applies to everybody here ... Danny, Bapu, Cj, me, you, Brandon, Seth, Jonbouy ... (Those names were randomly picked off the top of my head and have no special or hidden meaning.)

What happens is, people get too emotionally attached and start thinking they have a right to say who belongs in a public place or not and I think you're kind of in that place right now. What I find strange is you actually defend some by not saying anything at all when you know you should, and then put others in their place for no reason. You've put me in my place a few times about things you weren't even involved in and it bothers me because we've never had any words between us that I can recall. It comes off like you are trying to gang up on someone with your pals to get rid of them when you treat folks like that.

Yeah, you're golden hearted like Katie said, but it seems you pick and choose. It's ok, you're human, just like the rest of us, but remember we all have feelings even thought it's just words on a screen.

Anyway, I said what I wanted. I harbor no ill feelings toward anyone here. I better send this before my ISP kicks me again and I lose what I've typed. It's 65 degree's out and not so windy today so I'm gonna get going. I got a 600 foot long hedgerow of ice damaged Lilac shrubs I have to go prune. Gonna be sore tonight.

Bub.

 
Bub, interesting stuff. I'm not taking sides here but we're all judgemental - it's human nature.
 
How we act on the judgements we make is a personal thing, and defines us to a certain extent.
 
I do think Reece says what he says and does what he does because he feels it is for the good of the community. And it is a community, just because we're all the end of some backwater of the internet doesn't make it any different.
 
I'm very judgemental and quite often a complete idiot - speak first, think later. Sometimes I need someone to tell me I'm acting like a jerk - in the past guys such as Beag, Jon, Ed and Shad have been there to nudge me in the right direction.
 
How we deal with this 'friendly' advice also defines us as human beings. One can ignore it and continue with one's actions, or one can accept that it's meant in the correct spirit and do something about it.
 
I've done everything from changing or even removing posts to apologising to someone I may have upset - either by e-mail or PM, or if I've really overdone it, I'll apologise here in public.
 
There are all sorts of folk in 'real' life, and this variety is represented here - even 'amplified' by the very nature of the 'net - and I believe that, considering the light touch approach by the moderators here, we maybe all need the likes of the guys I mention to remind us this is supposed to be a family-friendly place.
 
I consider a lot of folk in here as friends - some maybe just pleasant acquaintances, and others for whom I'd move heaven and earth to help if I could. And friends look after each other - that's how I see it.

Nice post Steve.

The point I was trying to make was, nobody is perfect, and this place would continue if any one of us were gone. I edited a few things in my original post for clarity and now re-reading it, I see my edits didn't come out as well as I would have liked and can be taken different ways (which always 100% without fail happens here), but I'm not going to worry about it. We're all human and nobody is perfect.

This place is very cliquey and there's an established group of friendships here and they defend each other to a fault. And that's ok ... that's life. But when you start trying to tell people what they can and can't say in a public forum and threaten to leave over it if things don't go your way, then I say, don't let the screen door hit you where the good Lord split you brother ...

On a side note,

I used to play Wow for probably 4 or 5 years and made a lot of really good online friends.  A coupe of years ago, we all got together and went to Vegas for a week.

It can be kind of weird actually meeting the people, but really it was a blast.

Anyway, my point being that you never know where these internet friendships can take you (I know several people that also hooked up, and one marriage from playing Wow)

Wow!   (this was supposed to be a comment to Mathew)  :) 

Bub

 Been together for 11 years and very happy. 

Can we ask her?

Let's watch a comedy so the feeling of disgust can wear off.

Who luvs ya bapu?

I luvs ya.

Bring Beagle with ya.

mike_mccue


Let's watch a comedy so the feeling of disgust can wear off.

Who luvs ya bapu?

I luvs ya.

Bring Beagle with ya.

I got fresh becan in the car. Beagle will be there.

mike_mccue


Let's watch a comedy so the feeling of disgust can wear off.
Mike you seem like a decent guy, but that's a shallow comment to leave at this point in this thread.

Oh and why don't you spend a minute and learn how to post and respond to a quote. Hint, try the "Outdent" button.

I actually find it easier to do the html myself  [ quote ]  [ /quote ]   without the spaces

Mike did it really slow down or did you speed up?

hi guys.

first off, thank you to all of you who were "defending me" and lifting me up.  I appreciate it.

2nd - rhyno - I said I was thru discussing this with you and I am, but I feel I owe you an apology for the jab about the "bash 10Ten" thread.  you didn't see it so that wasn't fair.  I apologize for that.  on the rest of it I have nothing more to say because I've already said what I wanted to and don't need to drag this out any further.

on a related subject, however, Mike McCue does have a very valid point about learning how to use the quote system of the forum.  your posts are VERY difficult to read when you try to quote someone and don't use the formatting correctly.  it would make things easier on all of us if you could resolve that.

thank you for the kind words in your last post also.  I'm ready to bury this disagreement.

Bub - I am not angry at you for speaking your mind (I'm not angry with you at all - nor am I angry at rhyno or anyone else here).  I read your first post before you changed it (this is one thread I did subscribe to, even tho I normally don't do that).  in fact I haven't read it since you've changed it.  if you thought you were giving me a revelation about being judgmental then I'm sorry, I've already known that for many years.  yes, I'm judgmental.  I have opinions and I will state them, right or wrong.  sometimes I am wrong and if someone convinces me I'm wrong I'll apologize and move on.   here's another news flash for you, I'm also arrogant, pious and self-righteous.  yes, I know that as well.  these aren't qualities that I think are becoming, but I'm an imperfect human living in this imperfect world among other imperfect humans.  If you interact with me then you'll have to deal with my imperfectness.

further, tho, you have a couple of things wrong and I'll point them out and let you decide if you want to believe them or not because you do have the right to decide for yourself what to believe.  first thing you got wrong is that I don't pick and choose which posts I "call out" based on who wrote them.  yes, I DO pick and choose and some things I call out and some things I don't, but my criteria is not based on who said it, contrary to your belief.  my criteria is based on whether I think it's worth the battle or not.  I get fatigued with some battles such as this one.  Honestly, I don't like conflict!!!!!!!  I will always avoid it if I can!  but sometimes I have to pick my battles and decide to say something to someone about their posts.   that's the criteria - I don't let it go when a clique friend of mine says it - I let it go if it's below my threshold of battle pain.  believe it or not.

the next thing you got wrong was that I am well aware that I am not indispensable.  Yes, I am arrogant, but I'm not stupid.  this site will get by just fine without me and has in the past - I've taken a couple of sebbaticals from it before.  I probably will again when I feel like I am hurting more than I'm helping.  that time might be now - or soon.

the next thing you got wrong was that I have NEVER said that I believe I am a nice guy.  I challenge you to find a thread where I have said that.  it might take a while to search through all 32,000+ posts, but you'll not find it there.  others have called me nice and I have done a lot of nice things and I treat most users nicely.  but I've never called myself nice, so whatever you think that I think of myself, I believe you are incorrect on this count.

the last thing you got wrong is that I did not threaten to leave if people don't post the way I want them to post.  that's pretty absurd.  I clearly stated that I probably was the one who needed a break from the forum because I can't seem to live up to other's expectations of me.  how you derived that meant I was threatening to leave if they didn't think my way I will never understand.  believe that or not.

anyway, I want to thank each of you for your contributions to this most entertaining and emotionally draining thread, but I *think* I'm finished with it - I know I would like to be.