OK Fog Back At ya

What do you call a girl with one leg?
Ilene
What do you call a guy with one leg?
Neal
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Don't matter, he aint comin to you.

Aw crap...

LOL... sad aint it?

I told my mate that I'd bought a theatre. He said, "Are you having me on?" I said, "Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising anything"

One for the engineers/mathematicians out there
A 747 was flying into New York from Warsaw, and its flight path took it south of lower Manhattan. The pilot came on the radio and said "If you look out the north side of the jet, you can see the Statue of Liberty." Everyone got up to look and the plane exploded. Know why?

Too many poles in the right hand plane.

OK so you have to have studied engineering to get that one.

But I know you Chem Es out there are rolling on the floor.

I was on holiday last year and I saw a Brownie holding a book, on the front it said "Rough Guide". I thought "Yeah - she's not a looker"

ORIGINAL: SteveStrummerUK

ORIGINAL: The Kiosk Project

I was on holiday last year and I saw a Brownie holding a book, on the front it said "Rough Guide". I thought "Yeah - she's not a looker"

You are even sicker than me Mr Project


I must try harder

Go on then Strummy...

A woman takes her son to the doctors for a check up . When it's all finished the doctor pulls her aside and ,in a low tone , tells her " I notice the lad has an awfully small pecker.... I know it seems odd , but If you feed him lots of waffles he will be back into proportion and then some in no time ".


The next mornig the boy comes down the stairs to find the table laden with enough waffles to feed a platoon. The boy ask; " mommy , mommy , are all those for me ???
No , his mother says ; " you have a few platefulls , the rest are for your father "

She is in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast.

He walks in. She turns and says, "You’ve got to make love to me this very moment."

His eyes light up and he thinks, "This is my lucky day."

Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraces her and then gives it his all on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she says, "Thanks," and returns to the stove.

More than a little puzzled, he asks, "What was that all about?"

She explains, "The egg timer’s broken."

Waddya call a guy on the front porch with no arms and legs.

Matt

Man, that just doesn't seem right.

What do you call a woman with a radiator on her head ?

Anita





Good job I kept up my subscription to the Beano

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs, waterskiing...

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Skip.

Q: How many audio engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?

What's a lightbulb?

It's in the manual. Didn't you read the manual?

Three. One to change it, and two to complain about how bad General Electric's

customer support
is.

None. That's what interns are for.

If you just turn the other dimmers down a bit, the client won't even notice

that the bulb has
gone out.

There is no scientific difference between your old bulb and the new one, and

anyone who tells
you otherwise is peddling snake oil.

First, the decision as to whether the bulb should be changed. It takes 4 at the

minimum. One of
whom must have excellent communication skills and will present a paper on the

subject for
consideration by the AES. The other 3 set up numerous blind looking tests to

determine whether
or not anyone really will notice the bulb's state as significant. Passing that

part of the
process, we find that it may be necessary to select the proper replacement. The

"1 or 10" rule
applies here. Either the engineer is experienced enough to select the right

bulb for the job,
or it may require 10 engineers to discuss the various options available. No

fewer than 3 of
these will then review products suitable for the trade magazines while 4 others

present
discussions of the subject to such venues as regional AES section meetings and

rec.audio.pro.
The remaining 3 indulge in Internet flame wars blasting the reviews of the

first 3.
Ideally, a side by side comparison of bulbs will take place. One must consider

spectral
emissions and foot-candle data, measuring all to confirm manufacturers' claims.

The type of gas
filling the glass bulb and material used for the filament can influence the

quality of lamp
performance, and the psychological effects of colour distribution can…
What was the question?

Two. One to operate the dimmer and one to say "a little too bright. Turn it

down."

If you use 110-ohm balanced line in your lamps, you can go for dozens of

generations without
changing.

One, so long as he replaces it with an oxygen-free bulb.

First we have to decide if the bulb is wired base-hot, or thread-hot.

Well, first we need to evaluate how it will affect the artistic integrity of

the piece to be
played in the dark or in the light….

Three, if the bulb has poor off-axis response.

Lightbulb…??? You're still using those?

One, two, one, two…is this thing on?

None. That's a job for a video engineer.

I don't know, how many engineers did it take at [rival-studio]?

None. Since it's analogue, leave it broken and replace it with the latest

digital bulb from
Alesis.

None. They'll just fix it in the mix.

None. That's the way vintage lightbulbs are supposed to look.

Only amateurs change light bulbs; pros know that it's the room that really

needs work.

How much to you want to spend?



How many light bulbs does it take to change an audio engineer?

Just one… the little red one
over the track where you just yesterday got that perfect vocal line.

Knock Knock.

Who's there ?

Sonia..

Sonia who ?

Sonia shoe, can't you smell it ?

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Some poems rhyme
But not this one.