paulo


A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?"
Barman says: "No."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, we have no bread."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, we haven't got any bread!"
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any bread, and if you ask me again and I'll nail your beak to the bar you irritating little git"
Duck says: "Got any nails?"
Barman says: "No"
Duck says: "Got any bread?

That one's brutal, but made me laugh anyway.

 
I went to the shop the other day to buy 6 cans of Sprite...

Accidentally picked 7Up.
 
 
 

 
NEWS : 'Toyota Recalls 180,000 UK Cars'

I'm not surprised, that would be a lot of cars to just forget about.
 
 

 
Wayne Bridge bought Vanessa Perroncel a Cadbury's chocolate willy... but she says she prefers Terry's.

BIABDude


What comes in a box and sounds like crap?

That would be BAND IN A BOX!

What a pathetic excuse for a life you must have.  using a new login to hide your true identity from us just to bash BIAB.  get a life.  go outside and meet some people face to face.  OR get some balls and stop hiding behind a fake identity but stop wasting our time with this stupid meaningless game.
 
I'm just completely astounded that people have to go to this level of subterfuge and stupidity just to get attention.
 
 
And I gave him some. 

 
Today's the 75th anniversary of the invention of cat's-eyes.
 
The inventor, Percy Shaw, got the idea for them when, as he was leaving his house one evening, he saw his pet cat's eyes shining in the dark as it came toward him.
 
Just think, if the cat had been walking away from him he would have invented the pencil sharpener.
 

 

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a  65-year-old friend of mine
was able to give birth.. When she was  discharged from the hospital and went
home, I went to  visit.
 
'May  I see the new baby?' I asked
 
'Not  yet ,' She said 'I'll make coffee and we can chat for a while first.'
 
Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, 'May I see the new baby now?'  
 
'No, not yet,' She said.
 
After another few minutes had elapsed,
 
I  asked again, 'May I see the baby now?'
 
'No, not yet,' replied my friend.
 
Growing very impatient, I  asked, 'Well, when can I see the baby?'

'WHEN HE CRIES!'  she told me.
 
'WHEN HE CRIES?' I demanded. 'Why do I have  to wait until he CRIES?'  



'BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT  HIM, O.K.?!!'

Nutty



...Sorry, that was bad.
Annette

Then you've come to the right place.

Knock Knock!!!!!

CJaysMusic


Knock Knock!!!!!

Come in Reggie, have a seat.

 
 
 
 
 
 

Jesus and Moses went golfing.

Moses, "Jesus you're not going to make it to the green with that, you'll hit the water trap".
Jesus, "Moses if Tiger Woods can do it...I can."....bloosh, right in the water trap.
Jesus, "Moses will you get my ball for me?"
Moses, "Alright Jesus"...he parts the water and retreive's the ball.
Next hole..
Moses, "Jesus you're not going to make it to the green with that, you'll hit the water trap".
Jesus, "Moses if Tiger Woods can do it...I can."....bloosh, right in the water trap.
Jesus, "Moses will you get my ball for me?"
Moses, " Alright but this is the last time 'cause you're not listening to me". Moses
parts the water and get's the ball.

Next hole same thing....this time Moses said "No I'm not getting it, you get it"
So Jesus is out there walking on the water looking for his ball and some golfers playing behind came up to Moses and asked, "who does he think he is? Jesus?
Moses replied, No, Tiger Woods.

SteveStrummerUK


 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Doesn't this belong in the songs forum?