bitflipper

Q. How many SONAR Forum regulars does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: if CW doesn't fix that lightbulb RIGHT NOW, I am going to Reaper!

A: You're an idiot for asking the question.

A: RTFM

A: In Cubase, changing lightbulbs is much more intuitive

A: Depends. Is there a preset for that?

A: There is a workaround for that. Quit complaining.

A: Never change your own lightbulbs. Always use a professional LE.

A: MOVED: To the Hardware forum

 
Priceless
 
 

 
A guy went to see a psychiatrist...
 
"Doc," he said, "I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, and then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What on earth is wrong with me?"
 
The doctor replied, "It's very simple. You're two tents"
 

A man arrives home from work on his birthday to find his wife sitting on the couch with crotchless panties on.  She looks at him suggestively and as she swings her legs open, says "would you like some of this baby?" to which he replies "hell no! look what it did to your underwear!"

a man in a bar turns to the women he has been buying drinks for and says "whaddaya say we get out of here and go to your place?".  She says "sorry but I'm on my menstrual cycle".  He says "no problem, I'm on my moped, I'll follow you."

O.K. There are two peanuts walking down the road, and one was assaulted ( A Salted ).

A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows.

"What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.
"Not a bunch, herd", her friend replied.
"Heard of what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Of course I've heard of cows."
"No, a cow herd."
"What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"
 
 

ericyeoman


Time for some crap jokes methinks.
 
What do you get if you sit underneath a cow?
A pat on the head!
 
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Lean beef!
 
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef!

What do you call a girl with one leg?  
Ilene
What do you call a Chinese girl with one leg?
Irene
What do you call a guy with no legs?
Neil
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Don't matter he aint comin to you.  

Two women seem to take the same train from Maine down into Boston every Friday afternoon. After months passing, they finally sat next to each other and discussed this coincidence.  The first one explained that, " Every weekend I visit my elderly mother. She has a hard time getting around these days and I enjoy cooking and cleaning for her. Are you visiting as well?" To this the second replied," Heavens, No. My husband's brother is a fisherman and I travel down to Boston to get Scrod." At this, the first women replied, " I've been a school teacher for nearly 25 years now, and that's the first time I've ever heard the past participle of that verb."

An anteater walks into a bar.

The barman says...'Why the long face?'

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?
Not everyone's been inside a 747.

Two scientist did an experiment:
Their frog could jump 10 feet. They cut off 1 front leg and the frog jumped 8 feet. After removing the other front leg, it jumped 6 feet. Removing 1 of the back legs resulted in only a 2 foot jump. They removed the last leg and the frog didn't jump at all, no matter how loud they yelled or stamped their feet on the floor.
Their conclusion?
When you cut off all of a frog's legs, he goes deaf.

Yep

My favorite far side though is one where there is a ship with phones underwater listening to the songs of humpback whales and this one whale swims up underneath the ship and starts singing "Louie Louie"

Oh yeah while he is working on the serious end of the missile?  I love that one too.