bapu
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Re: RE: Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/02/27 18:57:28
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I don't have a crap joke, but I do have a crap post.
Here it is.
BTW, this will make this thread's 300th reply.
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re: RE: Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/02/27 19:03:24
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bapu
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Re: RE: Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/02/27 19:59:37
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Whaddya tryin' to say Strammy?
Spit it out.
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marcos69
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Re: RE: Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/02/27 20:29:06
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I thought he said a mouthfull. In fact I've never seen him swallow his pride like that.
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re: RE: Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/02/28 18:03:33
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Shoot - is there no subject you two won't pun?
Come off it, that was a low blow.
Mind you, it was a little funny, maybe I was a bit premature with my criticism.
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marcos69
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Re: RE: Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/02/28 18:12:21
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re: RE: Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/02/28 18:15:17
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marcos69
Just suck it up.
That took some balls to say that. I just thought I'd toss that out there.
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marcos69
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Re: RE: Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/02/28 18:17:09
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re: RE: Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/02/28 18:18:30
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marcos69
You handled it well.
Thanks mate - I've been practising hard at some length.
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marcos69
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Re: RE: Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/02/28 18:21:36
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Just keep the ball in play and hope it all comes out in the end.
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re: RE: Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/02/28 18:27:05
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marcos69
Just keep the ball in play and hope it all comes out in the end.
 Now that's just far too crude. I think I'm going to have to report you to a Moderator. What this thread really needs is a bit of input from Willy.
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bapu
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Re: RE: Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/02/28 18:31:58
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Willys input would be huge.
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marcos69
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Re: RE: Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/02/28 18:48:33
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This place does need someone to come in and mop up.
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tcm123
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Re: RE: Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/03/02 14:09:59
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what does it mean when your drummer is drooling from both sides of his mouth?
the stage is level.
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Jokerman
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Re: RE: Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/03/02 18:57:11
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A woman went into a bar and asked the bartender for a double-entendre, so the bartender gave her one... I'll get my coat  -=mike=-
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re:Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/03/02 19:31:57
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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson goes on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.
‘Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes,” replies Watson.
“And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson ponders for a minute.
“Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
“Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?”
Holmes is silent for a moment. ‘Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”
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MurMan
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Re:Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/03/02 21:14:00
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Woman goes up to a bar on the 23rd floor, looks around, and sits down next to a nice looking fellow at the end of the bar.
"What are you doing?", she asks. "I'm drinking Magic Beer". She's not too impressed, so she gets up and moves to the other side of the bar.
After a few drinks and no one to talk to, she decides to try him again and asks, "What's so magic about that beer?"
"Well, watch this." He takes a sip, goes over to the window, opens it, flys three big circles over the city, and returns.
The woman takes his beer, chugs most it down, then jumps out the window to her death.
A few minutes later, the bartender comes over to the man and says, "Superman, sometimes you're a jerk!"
Sonar 8PE & VS, Presonus Firestudio, VS-100, AlphaTrack, Nord Stage Compact, Roland Sonic Cell, Axiom 49, dbx 386, Event TR-8's, Kawai 650, ...
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LJB
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Re: RE: Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/03/03 04:04:51
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A loony escapes from an asylum and rapes several women in the local town. Next day, the headlines read "Nut Bolts and Screws".
Ludwig Bouwer, One Big Room Studios.
--------------------
Cakewalk with all the trimmings / Win 10Pro 64 / Intel i7-7700 / Asus Prime Z270k / 16GB DDR4 / RME HDSP9652 / RME UFX / Black Lion Audio ADA8000 / ART MPA & ART Pro Channel / Focusrite Voicemaster Pro / Aphex 107
Check out my work at www.onebigroom.co.za
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re: RE: Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/03/03 08:36:52
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57Gregy
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Re: RE: Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/03/03 11:10:22
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what does it mean when your drummer is drooling from both sides of his mouth? Free drinks for the band? The guitar player, bass player and keyboard player have girlfriends?
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slartabartfast
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Re: RE: Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/03/03 13:22:20
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"It's the gas, doctor. I have these farts all the time. You know the type--silent but deadly."
"Yes, I understand your problem with flatus, Mrs. Jones, but you also seem to have gotten a little deaf."
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MurMan
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Re: RE: Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/03/03 15:01:53
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World's Shortest Musician Joke:
"A drummer walks past a bar."
Sonar 8PE & VS, Presonus Firestudio, VS-100, AlphaTrack, Nord Stage Compact, Roland Sonic Cell, Axiom 49, dbx 386, Event TR-8's, Kawai 650, ...
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re: RE: Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/03/03 15:53:17
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re: RE: Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/03/03 16:13:17
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Jokerman
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Re: RE: Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/03/03 16:35:36
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Frankie my bass player was beating up the drummer the other day.
I asked Frankie what the problem was.
He said the drummer had de-tuned one of his strings - and he wouldn't tell him which one...
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godino
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Re:Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/03/03 17:47:57
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Dog goes into a post office to send a telegram
He writes
Woof Woof
Woof Woof
Woof Woof
woof Woof Woof
The post office worker says you've only got 9 woofs there
you can have 10 woofs for the same price - do you want me to add another one??
but it wouldn't make sense, replies the dog!!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
gordo Sonar Platinum - intel I7 7700K - Windows 10 home 64 bit - focusrite 214i - Roland Guitar Synth GR55 - Maschine Mk3 - Oxygen8 keyboard - Guitars basses etc
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MurMan
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Re:Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/03/11 13:32:18
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Two cannibals are eating a clown. One of them says to the other, "Does this taste funny?"
Sonar 8PE & VS, Presonus Firestudio, VS-100, AlphaTrack, Nord Stage Compact, Roland Sonic Cell, Axiom 49, dbx 386, Event TR-8's, Kawai 650, ...
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re:Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/03/15 04:24:15
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jamesg1213
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Re:Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/03/15 04:36:35
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Stevie Wonder is playing a concert in Tokyo, and asks for requests from the audience.
Little old Japanese guy stands up and says 'Play a jazz chord!!'
Stevie is quite impressed by the man's knowledge of his musical abilities, so launches in to an extended jazz solo..the crowd goes wild.
Little Japanese guy 'No, no..play a jazz chord!!' Irritated, Stevie tries again, with some wild solo-ing.
Again..'Play a jazz chord!!'
Stevie's had enough now 'OK smart arse, you come up and do it if you're so clever!'
'No, no' explains the old guy...
''Play a jazz chord to say I ruv you!!'
Jyemz Thrombold's Patented Brisk Weather Pantaloonettes with Inclementometer
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re:Crap Jokes anyone?
2010/03/15 14:02:43
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"Hey Bobby, do you know what this ADHD is all about?"
"Let's play on the swings"
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